i am at my wits end..?

Question

i am severly depressed and i have been getting professional help but the thing is only one of my friends know how bad i am. when i was young if i acted sad i was hit by my step-dad and my mom would tell me i was weak....... i am out of that now and i live with my dad but i still hide my true sadness from everyone and its eating me up inside! i want my friends to know my real emotions but i feel like if i look weak no one will want me.
i have tried just talking to them but well one of them is a guy (a gay guy but still a guy) so he hates talking about emotions and the last 3 times i have tried he just shut down and didnt say anything and the others just dont get that i need help. i dont want to be a burden on them i just want them to know the real me

any advise?


and please only serious answers

yes i am on meds and i have been seeing a therapist

Answer 1

Yours is a classic case of needing a therapist. You should talk to someone who can refeer you to a psychiatrist where you can examine and defeat the parts of your past that you don't like.

Answer 2

Continue with your therapy and pose this same question to him/her. If the therapist can't give you a satisfactory answer, find another therapist (it sometimes takes several before you find one that "gets it".) People who aren't depressed find people that are to be a bit of a mystery. They sometimes shut down because they can't relate to the depressed person on any level. I'm surprised your gay friend wasn't more responsive - sometimes gays are really good at listening and relating. Your last sentence is particularly revealing: you don't want to be a burden, but you want your friends to take on the burden of knowing the "real" you. A true friend won't mind that burden at all, but there may not be anything that such a friend can do for you. I don't think you want them to just know the real you - I think you want them to fix you. Only you can do that. Bottom line - you suffered emotional and physical abuse as a child. That's going to take some time and effort to cope with and to overcome. It can be done. Allow yourself the time necessary to accomplish that. (And, by the way, unless you have to, I don't think living with your dad is the best place for you right now. Ask your therapist about the possibility of moving into an environment with less baggage.)

Answer 3

Well dont stop getting the pro help first of all. I think that you need to get it out your frustrations with someone who will listen because they care about trying to help you and maybe even can relate to you. Dont get advice from the gay friend, he is confused about himself you dont want him giving you advice if he cant live his own life right. Being vulnerable is not a bad thing its feeling sorry for self and not having it in you to help yourself too. Take a look at the fact that you arent still in the same situation and be happy about that...and surround yourself around happy people that are genuine and care about helping you overcome your past and get on an obstcle free path to happiness. Overall know that everything will be okay, and that things take time, just becauae you havent healed all the way doesnt make you weak.

Answer 4

If these were your true friends they would want to listen to you. You are not weak. A person who has gone through what you have and is still trying to resolve the issues by getting the help you need should be admired. You are not a burden on the people who really care about you. Find new friends. And keep on doing what you are doing, getting the help you need. Remember you are the strong one, they are weak for not listening.

Answer 5

u have a friend in me :) do u have a bible? would u allow me to tell u to read it cuz i myself found a lot of inspirational thoughts that makes me strong.

ur not alone, there are many people who feel that way also. honestly, if i'm down, i would open my bible and i will be able to read a message whcih is exactly what i need for the moment.
that's why i believe that i am not alone cuz God is always there for me.

Next, u have to broaden ur horizon.. go out and make new friends... try some new activities that u are really interested in and i believe that ul be able to find friends that are similar to u in some ways. pretty much the same likes and people u can relate urself with and be comfortable to be with.

the only beautiful thing in this world is by letting go of our doubts and fear and just be ourselves.

just be urself in everything that u do then with God's help ul feel more better. U will also find friends who can accept u as u are cuz true friends accepts people as they are...ture friends will love u and care for u even u have failed them... i hope ul find an environment which will make u happy... God cares and so do I. u can email me if ud like...just let me know :)

Answer 6

Have you tried anti-depressives? They is no shame in getting what you need medically. Really until you recover you arn't in the right mode to get the help you need from friends...unless you have the kind of friends that seek you out. I have dealt with depression for years. You have to create a support system for yourself. Mine includes most importantly my Mother. She notices when I don't take my medicine and have a slight change in momentum. It is good to have people that are worried about you. Depression is a serious thing. I tried to commit suicide about a year ago...I have grown in my ability to cope very much since then. But all the best to you. I think medication is the #1 thing next to having a support system. I hope all goes well for you....sending hope and hugs!

Answer 7

People who have not experienced any kind of abuse are very nervous about listening to those who have. They have no real perspective on what is going on in your mind. What I used to do is write down my feelings every day. I would divide the page into two and on one side write all the negative feelings and on the other all the positive emotions. Reading over them I could find out what was going on in my mind. It is also helpful to find a support group in your area where you can share and listen to others.
I held on to my feelings of sadness and hurt and anger for many years till I realised that I was allowing the very people who hurt me when I was a kid to control MY life. That blew me away. When I learned that I was supposed to be in control of MY life and that nobody else was responsible for me I came out of my self-imposed prison. I have been moving on with my life ever since. I learned from the past and can now help others with the same experiences. Please get on with life. It is yours to enjoy!!!

Answer 8

If a pschyciatrist is all you have to talk to then that's a start, but they don't give you advice or anything they just ask questions and they don't really care. Maybe you should get a friend and then talk to them about your depression issues. Have you tried medications? If you're not a Tom Cruise fan...

Answer 9

You need to realize that sadness is not a sign of weakness.. it's a sign of being human.
Being sad isn't being bad... it's being sad.
It's an emotion... not a crime.
If your family or friends don't like/approve of your sadness, tell them that you hate it for them, but they'll just have to get over it.

Answer 10

honestly no one wants to hear sad stories -- ok you are sad everyone gets like that --- you are the only one that can change it --- rather than being sad --- why do you want to be sad?? --- change your viewpoint

it will take time but be more positive look at the world -- you have opportunities to do nearly anything you want

its not weak to be sad its allowing the sadness to rule your life that you need to change

smile say positive things about every day --- be excellent to each other

if people are not listening then say something they want to hear and in time your outlook will change

people love you