I'VE BEEN MARRIED FOR 2 YEARS MY HUSBAND HARDLY EVER MAKES THE FIRST MOVE. I ALWAYS START WITH FORPLAY HE TURNS OVER 99% OF THE TIME AND GOES TO SLEEP IS HE HAVING AN AFFFAIR OR IS HE GAY?
2006-10-24 17:27:06 · 38 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why would you assume he is gay, or are there some other signs about him that you haven't mentioned? It could be possible that he is either gay or having an affair but the chances are that he has a very low sex drive or he has been under a lot of stress at work lately. I think you need to sit down and talk about this face to face in a calm way without any accusations and perhaps you will end up being a little suprised and possibly relieved at the answers you get. R.
2006-10-28 13:04:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
He could be depressed, stressed out, have erectile dysfunction, be having an affair or be gay.You have to look at some other aspects of his behavior and situation before you narrow it down to just two things. For instance, Is he overweight or in some other condition that would make sex uncomfortable? How many other (female) partners has he been with, were those good experiences? You may feel uncomfortable asking that, but if the relationship is already sexless, how much worse can it get?
2006-10-24 17:47:58 · answer #2 · answered by Melissa R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not jump immediately to the conclusion that he is either gay or having an affair. Perhaps he is under severe stress, at work or with something else in his life. Perhaps he is having some sort of medical problem. Perhaps he has a fear of intimacy. Perhaps he is annoyed at you for some small reason and is hoping that by withdrawing affection you'll realise he's irritated and sort out the problem (childish, I know...) Maybe if you try talking to him, gently, and asking him how you can help, rather than thinking of him badly, it might be a good first step to healing this problem. Good luck...
2006-10-24 20:39:05 · answer #3 · answered by Sinead C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've read all the previous answers, all of which have some merit, but I'd just like to mention another possibility. Certain illnesses can lessen the production of testosterone radically, which can result in a much reduced libido on the part of the male. In that case, the desire for sex of any kind may be close to non-existent. My suggestion to you would be to ask your husband to see a Doctor to determine if the cause of his lack of interest may be due to that sort of medical problem. If so, it's certainly "fixable" by the use of a testosterone based treatment. Good luck.
2006-10-24 17:52:14 · answer #4 · answered by Jolly 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think some men are just selfish,when they feel the need to relieve themselves they make the move otherwise they reject u,i should no my lad does it only when he wants it,he is 29 with the get up and go of an 80 year old,i told him last week that if he doesnt start to satisfy my need i was gonna sleep with someone else,harsh i no,it worked for a few days but now he is back to square one,we in the same boat kid.
2006-10-24 18:50:22 · answer #5 · answered by kasey c 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He may be tired or stressed. Do an activity that he likes then in the conversation ask him about work or any stress tie it in with your questions of being intimate. If that doesn't work hire a Private eye and have him followed if you believe he is cheating on you. When you get all the info you need then make the right decision.
2006-10-24 18:43:47 · answer #6 · answered by RANDALL 5 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hmm could be both ...
did he used to put out and initiate it a lot before? cuz u dont become gay overnight!
seems to make more sense to say he's gay since if he were having an affair, then he'd still want some every once in a while! and ppl who have affairs tend to come home to the spouse/partner and have a lot of sex with them!
2006-10-24 17:30:41 · answer #7 · answered by Gahhhhhh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be really worried, as i think that in a relationship, there is nothing worse than being rejected, have you ever sat him down and asked what is wrong, try and talk to him, before you jump to all these conclusion, about him being gay and having an affair........hope all is well, good luck and god bless.
2006-10-24 19:02:00 · answer #8 · answered by donua1022 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't jump the gun. It could be an innocent health problem also not all men put sex as a priority. Speak to him and tell him how you feel. In my case I never wanted to have sex with my ex because she didn't know how to make love and did not want to learn. She just wanted to be satisfied. It became a chore and not a pleasure.
2006-10-24 21:32:09 · answer #9 · answered by John T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it could be either one. If he's gay, then you can surely tell
if he is in fact gay. The way he moves, talks. If he's cheating
then he can be having a secret affair. Go on the show CHEATERS and they will investigate and get to the bottom. That's if he is in denial. Don't stay in a relationdship if your husband is not in to your marriage, your wasting your time.
2006-10-24 17:35:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋