I wanted to thank everyone who posted a reply to my blog in which I
wrote that I discovered my husband has been visiting the same 3 strippers for over 2 1/2 years, calling strippers compulsively. He has spent 1000's. He claims that he never had sex with these women, but only got lap dances in which he ejaculated into his pants. As I said early I am an attractive women, but since discovering this infidelity, i have felt very low in self-esteem. What has upset me most about this is that I love to have sex and I feel rejected by my husband. I would have gone with him to the bar if that is what excites him, but the fact that he went alone shows that he doesnt care about my emotional and sexual needs. I feel that I am not good enough. I am a good wife, always ready to listen and I like to have sex. I just don't get it. I wonder if he will cheat in the future, and if he had sex with these strippers. I wanted to have children, but he wasn't interested in sex.
2006-10-24 17:18:11 · 18 answers · asked by CCalias 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well I am sorry to hear what you went through. I hope that you can work it out. We men have to get our selves together ( myself included) and start taking care of our wives. I apologize for him and ever other man out there that didn't do right. I hope you can find a good support network of friends or family that you can trust and talk with to carry you through this time.
God Bless You.
2006-10-24 17:23:00 · answer #1 · answered by Bruthaman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I'm having a little similar experience, but as what i see from your situation on the outside scope, sounds like he's not into you. He sounds like a player, more or less like my husband. I think the more you ask love and attention from him, the more he rejects you. Maybe he's doing that out of fun, you think? If you're married, and he's taking 1000's of dollars out of the family budget, I wouldn't doubt your bills are late or you're having financial problems. Unless you have a good job to pay for the money he's spending on the strippers. If he's getting lap dances where he ejaculates into his pants, how far is it from him getting it out and penetrating one of these girls one day? I think you should take care of your health, have him go to the doctors and get tested for STDs, because your very life is at stake.
2006-10-24 17:28:34 · answer #2 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi - I like strippers as much as the next guy but your hubby has a big problem. First rule -
D O N O T H A V E K I D S W I T H H I M ! ! ! ! ! !
He is way too messed up.
Second rule - go see a marriage counselor right away and decide if you both SHOULD (not WANT) be married.
Good luck,
A
2006-10-24 17:25:24 · answer #3 · answered by Alan 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
get rid of him, life is to short, no point of wasting it on him. hes not making you happy only upset most of the time. why worry about what hes doing or what he might have done. take controll of your life right now, today. and move out and find the right guy for you. if hes going to strippers hes obviously feeling like he needs more than you, and that hes not getting something at home. hes a pig...a ugly fat pig!! do you want to take the chance and maybe get a STD.... i think your answer is no. so move on. its hard considering you are married, but its for the best. and you will have a much better life with out this low life in it. Please do this for yourself and your future.
2006-10-24 17:24:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever told him how worthless this makes you feel? People with addictions to pornography oftentimes have low self esteem themselves, they may not recognize the effects it has on their partners. Your husband's "issues" aren't caused by your lack of sexual attractiveness. It's probably the appeal of sneaking. Keeping secrets is exciting (I'm not encouraging it- I'm just saying) It doesn't matter what a woman looks like when it comes to that.
2006-10-24 17:38:03 · answer #5 · answered by Melissa R 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Turn the tables on him. Do the same thing. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. He's not going to stop this. It has become a habit. He is addicted. There's really nothing you can do. He will have to change. So maybe when he sees you doing the same thing that he is...he will realize the error of his ways and realize what he has in you.
2006-10-24 17:23:44 · answer #6 · answered by Chris C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thee fact that he has been doing this for 2 1/2 years and spending thousands of dollars on this should show you that he has little or no respect for you or the marriage vows you took. that alone should tell you what you should do. get a divorce. you will one day find a man to respect. if you stay he will continue.
2006-10-24 17:26:00 · answer #7 · answered by ccll 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to be the one to tell you, but that's NOT a "husband." Whether he had intercourse with them or not is a moot point. He has not been faithful and you deserve better. He needs therapy; his behavior is not common or normal.
Nothing is wrong with you...except that you are still with him.
May the Peace of God be with you!
2006-10-24 17:22:47 · answer #8 · answered by Annamaria 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
LEAVE HIS NASTY ***! He's not worth it honey, you sound like too good of a girl to be dealing with a strippers addict.
Let him get a veneral disease( if these are cheap hookers) and itch the rest of his life, while you live it up with prince charming.
2006-10-24 17:21:30 · answer #9 · answered by JessicaMLM 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow how my heart goes out to you. I have had similar problems with my husband. Maybe your husband has a sexual addiction problem -- seriously it is a real addiction.
Good luck - and email me if you ever need to chat.
2006-10-24 17:25:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋