me and my husband havent spent any time together her lately just a little here and there anyways he seems to always be in a bad mood and it gets me all depressed and when i go out with my friends which isnt often at all like twice a month i feel something different like he is mad at me or something he just stops talkin to me and looks all depressed he sleeps all day cause he works nights and when im going to do something with my friends hes always awake and makes me feel bad for leaving any advice on what to do
2006-10-24 16:29:52 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
its not that im going out with friends all the time when one calls and he is asleep i wake him up and say im gonna go do something thats when he gets up like he would have just stayed in bed if i didnt say that and he gets mad at me...i go do something with a friend once a month... and when friends of ours comes over he stays in bed even if hes awake he lays in there and dont come out and socialize and then hes mad at me for the rest of the day
2006-10-24 16:38:53 · update #1
also i dont have a bf on the side wouldnt ever do that to him and we had a son that passed away last year so no kids r involved
2006-10-24 16:40:00 · update #2
Sounds to me he is seriously depressed.. and rightfully so, especially after the loss of a child.. he sleeps to avoid.. yet he is jealous of you because your "living" in the sense that ur going on with life, and he feels empty inside.. so he feels resentment towards u because he cant seem to face life other then to breath, and do what he has to do.. i really think he's in serious need of counseling, and i think that he needs to be forced to live again .. but i think he needs u to help him get through this.. and although i realize ur not going out with ur friends very often, but the fact remains that u have a man that is grieving really hard, and is depressed and needs u more then ever..
2006-10-24 17:28:29 · answer #1 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he needs some reassurance and some of your time himself! I dont know if your working or not but I think you should make a real effort to spend time together when he's up and reasure him that you still love him and nothing is going on in the life he is not a part of when he's not there, and also maybe after you get some closness back you can involve him in this new life afterall he is your husband who comes first , if he doesnt change his attitude after that and some of that key stuff conversation maybe things arent so worth hanging onto, although I beleive in sticking with marriage but today people dont think enough before they choose a partner it really needs to start there, I dont know relationships take alot of work and you have to think of how you would feel to loose him and if all this is worth it Good Luck! p.s. my boyfriend always talks about sticking with him while he's working hard for what we have and hows he afraid I wont realize its for the future and I think he's right in saying a lot of women dont respect or appreciate the effort and look at it wrong
2006-10-24 23:49:09 · answer #2 · answered by KIMBUR 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like a severe lack of communication. Is your marriage worth saving to you? If so you may have to put those "girls nights out" on hold until you and hubby can sit down and talk and work things out between the two of you. It's hard enough the two of you working different shifts. It leaves little time for being a couple. If you are choosing to use that couple time on your friends it's understandable that he feels hurt. Just talk to him. Love him. Be his wife.
After reading the additional details I would say he's probably dealing with the depression from the death of your son. Of course he's clingy with you. You're all he has left. Men are bad at knowing how to grieve. Give him a break. Try to understand him and be there for him.
God bless you honey! Praying for you to work it out!
2006-10-24 23:40:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
On days whenever he looks depressed- ditch your friends. stay home with him when he's awake and looks alone and depressed. He most likely misses the intimacy and comfort you and he had in the beginning of your relationship/marriage. When you hold him, hold him loingly. when you kiss him- do not make it just a simple "good bye, i'll see you after work" kiss- try to make it very loving as well.
I really do hope that helps.
2006-10-24 23:56:27 · answer #4 · answered by Getoutalive 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly when us guys do work night shifts, it kind of sucks, it is tiring, and we don't get to see people we care about, and that can make us miserable. I know I once worked night shift for 5 months straight.
2006-10-24 23:34:20 · answer #5 · answered by Sentinel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best advice I can give you is to talk to your husband. Tell him you feel he is unhappy and you would do whatever you could to fix it if only you knew what it was that was making him unhappy.
You won't know what it is unless you ask him.
2006-10-24 23:34:44 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe he wants to spend more time with you. when he is awake spend time with him dont go out with your friends. or he might think your going to see your bf on the side instead of going out with your friends.
2006-10-24 23:33:40 · answer #7 · answered by tiffany 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my hubby works nights also
we barley have time to say hi
its hard but MAKE TIME to talk cuz w/out any communication u will have not much at all
tell him u love him every day w/ a kiss
2006-10-24 23:41:17 · answer #8 · answered by ez-goin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell us if children are invovled or could you change your schedule to meet his and spend more time with him?
2006-10-24 23:33:17 · answer #9 · answered by patbendrv 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let's see....your married and you are dating your friends?
2006-10-24 23:32:55 · answer #10 · answered by willowz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋