I am Brazilian, he's American. We met up in Florida and married up there 5 yrs ago (no kids). We lived up there for 5 yrs and in Aug. this yr we moved down to Brazil, which he had agreed to. Now he just went back up there to work (over the road truck driver) last Thursday, and he keeps saying he will come back, but each time we talk he says different dates. He didn't want to find work here or even give it a try learning the language. He said he went up there to make money to support me. But he has always been flirty with other girls even when we were living up there, he had online profiles on dating sites, he was addicted to pornography, and our relationship was most of the time difficult. I don't want to go back living up there because he said I won't have to work, I will stay home. Does it seem like he wants to keep me at home to do his crazy stuff? Do you think I can believe him when he says he will be back in 4 months?
2006-10-24 16:25:39 · 10 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well.. I love him very much, but I never could trust him, because when I did, he disappointed me and did one more wrong. He always lied to me. I've always been truthful to him. Yes, it's true, we never talked things over. I tried to sit and reason with him "what's best for us as a couple?", trying to consider both our needs and wants. He wouldn't talk, he would turn the TV on or walk away, or play computer games to ignore me. He always wanted to get jobs that would keep him away somehow. Before becoming a truck driver, he wanted to be a flight attendant, or work in a cruise ship. It's never been something to stay close to home, or include me in his life. I guess I'm trying to make him love me. But love is not selfish, right? I've put many things in my life in second just to make him happy and our marriage intact. I've never been unfaithful, never spent his money. His ex wife had left him and he accepted her back after she cheated on him. I guess he likes the bad girls.
2006-10-24 16:59:27 · update #1
Maybe you can believe him maybe you can't. Have a backup plan.
2006-10-24 16:29:56 · answer #1 · answered by storm 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like you don't trust your husband, and you were having issues before you married. It also sounds like both of you didn't really discuss what expectations you had concerning work, residence and long term goals. With the challenges you were having before, you should have gone to premarital counseling or not gotten married.
You don't mention anything positive about your marriage or that you love him. Do you think you can believe him? I think you already know the answer.
You should see an attorney about legally ending your marriage both in Brazil and in the States. I don't believe you want to be in this situation, there's no real reason for you to stay.
2006-10-24 16:35:42 · answer #2 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you want to live the rest of your life in Brazil? If yes, it seems like your husband won't return and you're better off getting divorced and finding a guy who's already in Brazil and wants to stay there. If you and your husband don't agree on this main issue, then there's nothing to hold onto. Let him go.
2006-10-24 16:30:48 · answer #3 · answered by chnchita 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you love him, but dont trust him......doesnt make sense. he's a truck driver.....my brother -in-law is a truck driver and does the same to my sister. she handles the bills and their 3 kids while he's on the road. he cheats on her constantly and she knows it. it's not a healthy relationship. all the hookers, bars, etc. i'd say wait it out. if he's not home in next 4 mnths--seems like a long time to me--file for divorce. usually my brother in law is only gone for a couple weeks at a time. good luck
2006-10-24 17:20:22 · answer #4 · answered by kimandkaitlyn2005 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest that you read the book "out of the shadows: understanding sexual addiction" by Dr. Carnes. You need to get help from a professional counselor asap.
2006-10-24 19:22:06 · answer #5 · answered by CCalias 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
according to hazard considering you're married to him! i do no longer comprehend why you're aggravated. he's your husband. you're saying you omit him and you haven't any longer been intimate. feels like the fault lies with you. i do no longer likely prefer to sound harsh to you, despite the fact that if, you're his spouse, the affection of his life. He maximum possibly misses you. Why is it complicated to comprehend that he desires to be intimate with you jointly as he's over there?And why is it complicated which you would be able to respond to his desires? a minimum of he isn't asking this from somebody else. Why did you utilize the "white" word? does no longer propose a concern to us! Do you like him? My God, act like it.
2016-11-25 19:24:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that if he truly loved you and wanted to be with you he wouldn't be doing this to you. You deserve to be treated like a princess. Ditch the loser and find yourself a true prince.
2006-10-24 16:49:49 · answer #7 · answered by strawberryrhubarbpie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Surely he will be back with bad news. To leave you..
2006-10-24 16:30:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
im sorry but hes gone , if you do not mind him being a woman niser he will be back
2006-10-24 16:31:52 · answer #9 · answered by jac 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
and you want him back because......? This is one dude you should be saying "Hit the road, Jack".
2006-10-24 17:13:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋