if one partner has a higher sex drive than the other, should the one give in, just to try to please the other? does it work or just feel like they are going thru the motions?
2006-10-24 16:23:44 · 10 answers · asked by head_banger_yyc 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I hear you! My husband and I are completely on different pages. He'll cave about twice a month, when I crave it multiple times a day.
It all depends on how much you care for your partner. I learned to purchase various toys and not bother him about it. I'm grateful for the attention he gives me and cherish it when it happens.
I would move heaven and earth for him if the roles were switched around and in the past with past lovers, I have.
Never once had I withheld my body from my mate and I never would. A good relationship is about give and take, and right now, I happen to be on the taking end I guess!
Good luck with what you decide.
2006-10-24 16:57:29 · answer #1 · answered by princessslave 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, they shouldn't just give in and go through the motions. For example, if one partner has a "lower" sex drive than the other, maybe he/she just needs a little extra attention. Perhaps what's needed is foreplay or care earlier on in the day - a kiss and gentle touch in the morning, a massage in the afternoon, etc. Start early and start slower. Even just helping out with work and chores can sometimes make a difference. Of course, both partners should work on fulfilling each others needs. Communication and an open mind generally helps.
2006-10-24 16:46:19 · answer #2 · answered by J 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are mismatched sexually, it is not going to get better. Unless there is a physical reason for the lack of interest or emotional reasons - work, money worries, inlaw or parent worries, "feeling trapped" syndrome, etc. You get the physical and be honest with the doctor. If you or she is okay, then go in for 6 - 8 sessions of sex therapy or general therapy - whatever is recommended.
I think that the one with the low sex drive always knows why but they will not disclose because it is usually quite traumatic. And most likely they did not get good therapy at the time.
But each of the partners knew that when they got together. If so, the high sexed parner has to conform down or leave. If the pattern changed because of children coming along then that is the way it is. Wait until the children are pushing 10 and there will be less stress. Good luck
2006-10-24 16:42:42 · answer #3 · answered by ALWAYS GOTTA KNOW 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It never works just going through the motions. There has to be a willingness on both sides for sex to have that Oomph that everybody strives for....otherwise your as well sitting in your room with a dirty mag. If you and your partner have differring sex drive levels, then there are always compromises that can be worked out, it just involves discussing the problem when you realize something is wrong, rather than saying do you want an aspirin before bed.
2006-10-24 16:29:45 · answer #4 · answered by dellc_uk 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It should be a compromise. There are times the partner with the higher sex drive should lay off and give the other one a break. The other partner in return should recognize that effort and give in from time to time as well.
2006-10-24 16:28:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Well if that person with the lower sex drive really cares about that person they will work with them. On the other hand it can feel uncomfortable at times, and that person can feel used. It would be wise to keep the other partner happy and do whatever it takes to get them in the mood. Its a give and take relationship, or it should be.
2006-10-24 16:33:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm taking it you, as the male, is the one with the greater sex drive. that's usually the case. actually it's not that we necessarily have a greater sex drive, it's actually that our sex drive gets activated more easily! we our wives naked and it's activated! on the other hand...if we took some of that energy that's going into our sex drive and focused it on our girl, we'd probably see that our sex drive need was being met because her sex drive would be activated as well. unfortunately, we guys are often selfish and don't think about her needs. it's not just sex needs...it's a person's needs!
2006-10-24 16:56:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Compromise, If you can't do that you won't be partners long anyway.
2006-10-24 16:32:39 · answer #8 · answered by tim b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I never give in - but I have been told it is not all about me, so I am probably selfish, and wrong.
2006-10-24 16:26:56 · answer #9 · answered by DBL L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, give in and fake it at all times.
2006-10-24 16:26:31 · answer #10 · answered by rhonda3826 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋