How (without telling him) can I get my husband to be more aggressive in bed?

Question

I don't want anything really rough or crazy, but I would like him to hold my arms over my head and things like that. We communicate very well, but I feel like if I have to TELL him what I want, he will only be doing it because I asked....like he's "acting", not really feeling it. How can I get him to do it in a way that I know he's into it as much as I am??

Answer 1

if you want him to be aggressive, you should be more aggressive. make it playful aggression. wrestle him. but you have to really mean it. if you really try to pin him, dollars to donuts the testosterone will kick in and he will pin you. then run with it, baby!

if you think that telling him will make him do it half-heartedly, you are probably right. you know him better than we do. so you have to lead the way, physically.

have fun!

Answer 2

I am a guy. Guys are dumb about reading someone's mind. You will have to tell him.

That said, guys are cool. They like sex. They like variety. Don't worry about the acting. Maybe the playing will do you both some good, even if there's acting involved. A little vocal fantasy helps things along too.

You say that you "communicate very well" but you don't seem to be able to freely talk about your sex life. It's best to bring it up when you're NOT in bed, so that no egos get in the way. He'll be into it when the next makeout session comes along.

Answer 3

I went through the same thing with my husband. And the truth is he'll never figure it out unless you tell him.

Even if he starts doing some of this stuff because you asked he'll like it and start doing it because he enjoys it as much as you do.

If your still bent on dropping hints, try assuming the role of the passive house wife outside of bed with a flirty attitude and maybe it'll get his attention.

Good luck

Answer 4

I would suggest that you instigate a role play of something you both would enjoy ,with the things you want done to be inacted in the role play. Then afterwords you could both discuss how you each felt about it, and hopefully after the conversation, you both will find a few things about each other and also, new things to do to each other.

Or, other option is tell him you have a fantasy about what you want done, and ask him if he is willing to inact it with you.

Make sure, with either choice, you tell him while it all is happening how much you enjoy it and how much it turns you on........ I'm sure if he knows what it does to you, he'll want to make sure to do it again.

Answer 5

when he's sitting at the computer or something, whisper in his ear...' I want you to **** me HARD...' and say it in kind of an angry tone. My gf and I both enjoy sweet caring love making, some times, but there are other times(especially around that time of the month) that we both enjoy hot angry FUKKING. When I do something like pull her hair a little bit, or bang her up against the wall, she tells me she likes that, that's how I know. YES, if you tell him exactly what to do, that takes the whole point out of it, since he is the one supposed to be DOMINATING you. When he does a little bit of something that you like, let him know, tell him oh yeah you like that, and he'll have a better idea of what else you might like.

EDIT: \/ \/ I totally agree with rain \/ \/, you have to instigate the agression if that's what you want. Before it all starts, if my gf is blowing on my ear and stroking my hair etc., I know she's going to want it sweet and soft. But if she's talking dirty, looking at my crotch, and pinching my @ss, I know she's looking to get thrown around on the bed.

Answer 6

Tell him you've been a very naughty girl and you need to be punished. Maybe he'll do something then.

Answer 7

Have you tried being more aggressie with him? Spontaneous? Sho him a porno or something and say "that looks fun" or something like that.

Answer 8

You do it to him first and, if he goes for it, ask him to reciprocate

Answer 9

quitely put a virgra in his food.