The reason is because they do NOT plan to marry again anyway. This is understandable reasoning. Why go thru it and lose property and money? The marriage is suppose to be over but the spouse wants the person to come back. Is this too risky?
2006-10-24 16:16:41 · 16 answers · asked by wondering 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I guess it depends on what you value.
It depends on what you want from the relationship. If it's just a casual fling and you don't have emotional ties to the separated person, then no problem.
It's a difficult decision. There is always the chance that by staying married, the person could go back to their spouse.
I would think that the longer you take to divorce someone, if you get more money after this time, then really they could probably go for a share in this as well.
I think the idea that the person doesn't want to divorce in order to save money or property is a bit lame.
It's a risk, but at least you know what you're getting yourself into.
2006-10-24 16:22:39 · answer #1 · answered by littlyau 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How do you know the spouse wants him/her to come back? Not remarrying right away is a wise decision.
It may be risky - you should evaluate why the separation took place. In my case, my husband of 12 1/2 yrs. left me a few months after I finished chemo, radiation from breast cancer. He left me for a 21 yr. old, 200 lb. tramp. He didn't give any warning that there was a problem and was adamant about not wanting to try to work it out. We opted for legal separation because the judge was going to make him pay for my COBRA benefits for 3 yrs. otherwise. Although I was committed to him and still miss him, I would never take him back. He would have had to move heaven and earth to convince me to do so. Being an introvert he would never do that.
You might want to evaluate exactly what kind of a winner you're getting there. And no matter what you are told, there are always 3 sides to each story - his side, her side, and the truth.
2006-10-24 23:39:42 · answer #2 · answered by greyrider 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what kind of future is there for you with a relationship like this.and if the spouse wants the person back than maybe they would go back and work it out if someone else wasn't in the marriage holding them back.they are still married, and it sounds to me like they are just feeding you a line so they can get what they want off of you.you will always be just the other person with no rights,no nothing, on holiday's you will be alone, he will be with family, you have very little to gain, and besides it is still cheating, and what goes around comes around. doesn't look as if their significant other is too happy with the situation. he is playing you.
2006-10-24 23:30:13 · answer #3 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was dating a man for a couple of months who had a pending divorce action...he claimed to be alone for most of the past two years although there were 3 times that they reconciled...guess what?...this now makes 4...I was the back up...As soon as I detected that she was back in the picture, my head knew what to do...but I listened to him and my heart for another month...a very lonely month...BIG mistake....she was eavesdropping on every email & phone message and when we met for the final time after not seeing each other for a month...she was made to be the hero
2006-10-26 20:43:04 · answer #4 · answered by Sherry C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you purposely want to get involved with anybody in that situation?? They are leaving the door open with their spouse and that shows that they are not ready to end their relationship so they're not ready to start a new one. Any other excuse they may come up with is just that. Do what you want or learn from others' mistakes.
2006-10-25 01:43:43 · answer #5 · answered by Ken H 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely. You will always be in a threesome. If there are children involved the situation will be even more complex. Dont put yourself through this. The sooner you get out the easier it will be. The more time you spend together the greater the bond (for better or worse). It is always easier to end the relationship early.
2006-10-24 23:30:47 · answer #6 · answered by CCalias 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, if you invest in a relationship with him and want more going in than he is willing to give and he has told you up front that he doesn't want to marry again. Believe him. He probably won't change his mind about it.
If you go in understanding that all he will ever be is a fun date, and comport yourself accordingly, then you are ok. Understand all he will ever be is a friend with benefits.
Best wishes
2006-10-24 23:27:13 · answer #7 · answered by Slimsmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why be in a relationship with someone who is still married whether he is separated or not. if he will cheat on his wife with you, he will also cheat on you. he's not trustworthy. how could you ever tell if he was telling you the truth or not? and the question still remains, why is he not willing to get a divorce? do you really need all the drama in your life.
2006-10-25 00:29:55 · answer #8 · answered by ccll 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would not date a seprated man bc they are still married. I would rather him be divorced
2006-10-25 01:12:47 · answer #9 · answered by knowssignlanguage 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why on earth would you want to be a doormat for this bozo? Surely you can find someone who can commit to you.
2006-10-24 23:23:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋