When we got married she only weighed 120 lbs. After she gave birth to our son last year she gained almost 40lbs. She looks awful naked and I just don't feel attracted to her anymore. I met a girl at work last week and we had lunch. The next day I met her at a Motel and we had sex. It was awesome but I did feel kind of guilty.Should I stop?, I mean I didn't make my wife eat too much and gain all that weight. Why should I suffer. I'm a man and I have needs. Last night my wife was at night school and I had my new girl come over and we made love on mine and my wifes bed. Was that wrong?
2006-10-24 16:13:46 · 49 answers · asked by mrharderson 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Um, you ladies totally missed the fact that she went from 120 up to 160 and isn't losing it. I'm sorry, but if a woman gains that much weight, she is being NEGLIGENT to her body. There is no reason for her to hold onto that much weight. However, you should tell her that she is overweight and tell her she needs to get her act together and take care of her body. I'm sorry if you ladies don't like to hear this, but taking care of your body and the way you look IS PART OF BEING A WIFE!!!!! If you don't give a **** what your husband thinks about you, then you should expect exactly what this guy has done.
2006-10-24 16:41:56 · answer #1 · answered by KT 3 · 2⤊ 6⤋
Honestly, people talk so much about how a woman struggles with baby weight after the baby is born. And most womens bodies are permenantly damaged.....stretch marks, extra skin, after birth. But not a lot is talked about what the man goes through. Sure, yes it seems superficial, and it seems selfish. But how are you supposed to feel? I think men see the whole pregnancy thing from a different point of view. More of a physical transformation rather than an emotional one. So you are hard on her cause you are not in tune with the emotional part. And that is not your fault. But......you should not have had sex with the other woman. You will regret that. Because you are married, you've made this commitment to your wife.....for better.....or worse. When your wife does lose the baby weight.......and in her own time she will......you will regret your actions. Because they were selfish actions. And you will potentially end your marriage by inviting that kind of behavior in your home. You really need to think about what is truly important in your life. Maybe seek marriage counseling. You are human, you are not perfect......but i think you know all too well that what you did was wrong. Just try to put yourself in your wife's shoes. Picture yourself overweight or just out of control. Not your usual self. Try to honor her. She brought YOUR child into this world!
2006-10-24 16:27:54 · answer #2 · answered by ♥2323vsb 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes that was wrong. U helped her get pregnant and many don't have the body that can return back to what it was b4 as the stomach muscles get weak from having the womb rest on top of it keeping her from using it and keeping it in shape. What if it were U that got pregnant and gained the weight and could not lose it and she cheated on U?
If U keep cheating on her and bring home some disease and pass it on to her ...or she becomes pregnant again and the baby too catches the disease...how would U feel?
Also, think of the child U already have. U ever seen a child devastated by a parents split up from cheating? Poor things always blame their-selves for it. If U didn't want a fat wife...U should have never married.
2006-10-24 16:20:56 · answer #3 · answered by any1on 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, I know most people, including me, would definitely call it wrong for the 'cheating' part ! But unfortunately I cannot be a hypocrite for the sake of sounding 'sane' - lets get real ! I do agree with the mrHarders that he is a human and has his needs..so, if his needs are not fulfilled in one relationship, it will anyway be fulfilled in another (Off course, I am assuming that he has given sufficient time after her pregnancy)
I think this is where most women do the mistake, gets angry/emotional even, resentful, and thus decrease their libido even more. They must try to understand the man's part as well (off course, the reverse is inevitable expected !)
There has to be an adjustment from both sides - not just from the man's side.
Well, I am definitely not a male chauvinist and have a very loving wife !
2006-10-24 19:05:15 · answer #4 · answered by life_is_rhythm 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How can you look yourself in the mirror, that is a horrible thing to do. She gained weight by way of giving you a child and she should be respected and loved for that not put down and cheated on. Meeting the woman at the hotel was bad but bringing her into you and your wife's bed..that's just sick and f*cked up. You should confess to her and stop this affair you are having before you lose your wife...she deserves better than that.
2006-10-24 16:20:15 · answer #5 · answered by Ash 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Let me be the one to tell you what you want to hear...you are wonderful ! You are the husband every woman dreams of having. You did nothing wrong acting like a foul dog screwing some chick you just met. And she will love you so much when you tell her you cheated on your wife who had your baby last year. You should not feel guilty--- you are to low life to possess those feelings...for they are associated with a HUMAN BEING who has a conscience! You are a stupid animal! D-O-G-!!!! Do not suffer---you have your needs...you need to get some sense knocked into you----you need to get a brain! You are a pig who defiled the bed you shared with your wife. I wish you many, many sleepless nights wondering if you've caught Aids. I hope your wife dumps your sorry ***-----You are too wonderful to be true.....you are a DREAM....yes you are a nightmare! And your name is IDIOT. IDIOT IDIOT.
2006-10-24 16:29:21 · answer #6 · answered by Brains & Beauty 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look, I am not here to judge you. I cheated on my husband too because i met someone really good looking and much younger. My husband is much older than me...i am no longer attracted to my him but i was so sexually attracted to my lover that i did not feel that i was cheating. But nonethelss, i realised it was wrong and because of the kids, i broke up with my lover, cos he is married too and his wife changed too. You should think things through. Do you love your wife,enough to accept her for who she is? fat or otherwise? If not, then do her a favour and leave but tell her the reason. She'll be hurt but she'll come out stronger. If you still love her, take her counselling or to a slim center, encourage her to lose the weight. I lost 38 pounds and i look hot now! Anything is possible. For you kid's sake, i hope you give her a chance. You won't regret it.
2006-10-24 16:35:30 · answer #7 · answered by angelheart 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
one day you will love someone, and they will cheat on you and you will be the one hurt. what you do to others will eventually come back to you, and you will have the same thing done to you as your doing to your poor unsuspecting wife. you are a looser, but thats just who you are. your putting your wife in jeprody, with all the std's and hiv out there you are foolish and could bring something back to your wife. why not just get a divorce if this is what you intend to do, why hurt your wife anymore. what if you were the one with the weight problem, or what if you were sick and she cheated on you, how would you feel about it. why did you ever get married anyway. no one is perfect.
2006-10-24 16:55:56 · answer #8 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure that your wife has a beautiful heart. I recommend that you think of some ways to encourage her without putting her down. Take walks with her, don't bring the wrong kind of foods in the house etc. I'm sure that you will have some other ideas. She can look beautiful to you again with your encouragement.
Give up the other girl. The grass is always greener on the other side. But in the long run you will lose out. It's better to have someone totally commited to you. Best Wishes!
2006-10-24 16:21:00 · answer #9 · answered by greatnewsbearer 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
The fact that your love for your wife is based on looks is downright wrong to begin with. Love is beyond what someone looks like. What if you got in an accident tomorrow morning on your way to work and became paralized for the rest of your life, how would you feel if your wife stayed with you but cheated behind your back? If you're really that disgusted with the person you promised to be with for richer for poorer in sickness and in health, LET HER KNOW YOU DON'T WANT TO BE WITH HER ANYMORE AND FILE A DIVORCE. Then go about "doing" whomever you please.
2006-10-24 16:20:53 · answer #10 · answered by Priscilla I 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Weight is a characteristic, yes, you absolutely should cheat on her. How dare SHE???? My GOD, you have needs after all. She apparently gave up HER needs when she selfishly gave birth and gained weight!!! The biatch, what could she have been thinking!?!?!?!?
BTW: You also have an undesirable characteristic. YOU are an a s s h o l e!!!! Hope she gets a room right next to yours and has a very loud!!! and wonderful time with whomever she meets at work.
Peace.
2006-10-24 16:26:53 · answer #11 · answered by -Tequila17 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋