I feel weird from family issue..?

Question

Hey again.
Last night I had a major conflict in my family. My grandpa died, and it was my fathers father, so he didn't quite handle it corectly and relied on alcohol to numb the pain. The police had to come to my house to calm things down. For the full story go here: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AmBQGFHkrJPEzGjEJohL50Psy6IX?qid=20061023221827AA8lNvd

Anyway, since I'm new to this, I'm not sure how you're supposed to feel. It was such a big event, and I feel like it was a dream, and I still feel really weird like I don't know where I am. Is this normal? It feels weird, and sort of lonely too. Thanks.

Answer 1

You feel like your world is suddenly in slow motion. You look around yourself, and see other people going on with their lives. Driving down the road, you see kids playing. You see a car full of teenagers jammin to tunes. A woman walking her dog. And here you are, stuck in what feels like slow motion, and your wondering how the hell can all these people go on with their lives when this tragedy has happened?? You want everyone to STOP. If only time could stand still for just awhile so you can adjust here. I know what your going through. And it does pass. But that feeling your feeling is called shock. Has anyone close to you ever died before? This sounds like a first for you. At least someone this close. You need to just relax. Force yourself to. Just calm your brain, your mind, your spirit, your soul all the way down to your toes and just breath. Reflect of the whole experience, think about your grandfather. This man, was your dads dad and the sadness that he is feeling is overwhelming. Love your dad. Hug him and cry with him. You need each other right now and together you will heal. Your going to be OK, I promise. Please just call your dad right now and tell him you love him. Take care, God bless and relax.....

Answer 2

That was such a departure from what you are used to, no wonder it threw you for a loop. You are doing a lot better with it than I would be. I am so sorry you have experienced a loss in your family, and I would strongly encourage you to focus right now on SELF CARE. That means doing all those little, tiny things which will help you to get a good night's sleep, starting with all the positive support you are getting from all of us right here on Yahoo! Answers. What you have been through recently is tragic, and the details read like a visit to the circus, so if you are upset, it is certainly understandable. Our hearts go out to you, and I will tell you to remember that it is all temporary. Your father will get his bearings, and become sober once again, and you wil be able to cry, or bawl your eyes out from the stress, and get a release from all that tension inside yourself, and life will go on for all of you. Right now, however, it feels like the proverbial roller coaster ride, and it's no darned fun. Our hearts go out to you. Please, as much as you can, try to feel our feelings coming to help make you stronger. If you could somehow get a good night's sleep, that would go a long way to calming you down, generally, and remember to eat. All of this is temporary, and will pass fairly soon. It is not forever. If you can see how upset your father still is, go to him and hug him, or if you can't quite feel okay doing that, than shake his hand and ask him if there is anything you can do to help him feel better, as he has obviously taken this loss very hard. I am hoping some of what I have written here for you will comfort you, and make you realize you are definitely not alone while you are going through all of this. I am sending you healing energies this evening as you quiet down and turn the whole matter over into God's loving hands, and just let yourself fall to sleep. God Bless You. - Chris.

Answer 3

You need to see over all this insecurity - breastfeeding is best for your baby and you shouldn't let "being uncomfortable" rule your decision to breastfeed. 1. You will likely only go out to a restaurant a handful of times while breastfeeding. You can also schedule your outings so that your baby has had a feed just before you leave - if you stay there for hours that's careless, your baby needs to be home in bed and its your own fault if you have to breastfeed many times out in public. 2. How many times are you going to have to breastfeed in front of a male family member? Only a handful of times I'd bet - and you can cover up with a full cover that covers everything, or simply move to a different room. 3. If all of this bothers you so much, why not pump and feed that way?

Answer 4

What U are feeling is normal. People handle losing a loved one in so many different ways. The best way to get through this as a family is to talk to each other, hold each other and shed tears together as all of you go through the healing process of grief. U will experience many emotions as U heal and may take a long time but things do get better.

Answer 5

Your reactions are normal - coming from a kind of crazy situation. Death is never easy to deal with, and people have their own way of taking care of those pains. Don't be embarrassed, either; lots worse has happened to a lot of good people. Believe me, it's not unusual for people to act up when faced with grief, especially the loss of a parent or child.
Just be as supportive of your Dad as you can; I bet he wasn't too proud of himself the next day. But he doesn't need to be judges by anyone, especially not now. You wrote that it was your father's fault; was it an accident? I don't think you mean he killed him on purpose. He must feel tremendous guilt. Help him if you can.
I lost my mother to a house fire, and years later, after battling crack, my brother admitted to starting the fire because he was playing with matches. We cried, and I told him I could never hold that against him. That's what life is about - moving forward.
I'm sorry to read about your grandfather. My thoughts are with you.

Answer 6

when someone dies yes its normal to feel weird...like your in a dream, like its not real its such a hard thing to grasp it seems so unreal...anyway to deal with this you should express how you feel to someone you trust, someone not involved and then just lay low and understand how your dad must feel being that it is his father that has passed away...if you dont know how to handle the reality of this then surely he doesnt either...give it some time......

Answer 7

Yes what you are feeling is the first step of the grief process. there is no wrong or right way to feel you are you and that is how you feel. I am sorry for your loss and the fact that you father tried to drown in alcohol. ( there are four stages of grief ) see your school councilor in school or call a help line and it will give you some one to talk with who will explain the four stages of grief

Answer 8

Death of a loved one is a tough time. It's hard when someone uses alcohol for their pain instead of talking it out. Don't blame yourself you did good in what you did. Just take one day at a time and if there is a teacher or counsellor or Pastor you could talk to for guidance and just to talk it out you should try and do it.

Answer 9

well, first of all your cute ,(by the looks of your picture you look good,i bet in person you look better) ha ha ha ha
but anyway i really just have to say that i hope you feel better and that you are a child of god and i what ever it is that you are going through i hop you eventually walk away and that loneliness is gone.
and my dad started back drinking when his mother died so i can totally relate 2 how u feel.
So, just keep yo' head up and stay strong.

Answer 10

i think you should try and console your family as this is such a hard time. talk to them support them and if you cant talk to them go to a counselor or someone that you can confide in! you should not be alone in this time, although you may feel you want to be. best of luck..sorry for your loss