He found out (obviously by the 11 positive pregnancy tests he saw in the open trash) that I am pregnant, and he's BEYOND happy... He KNOWS I already told him I'm giving it up for adoption but it isn't REGISTERING. He's opening up one of the rooms we use for storage in order for the BABY to have room! I don't want room, I don't want the baby. He's telling me what I can build for the room, what stuff me and my friends can build for it. He can't wait to be the "Stay at home mom" because I work a 12 hour day, everyday, 5-6 days a week. He cooks, cleans and does everything wifely around the house, so he's in denial that I don't want it. When I bring it up, he practically BEGS me not to say such things. I say no, and he just crumbles down into a very deep depression, crying and holding me and the BEGGING... He's the gentlest most wonderful man I have ever met in my life, but children are not for me. I would gladly have 20 Great Danes over just one child, and he knows, but he loves children..
2006-10-24 15:51:30 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
My boyfriend, btw. And I was on a patch that OBVIOUSLY didn't do ANYTHING....
2006-10-24 16:01:09 · update #1
Um, and you forget, he doesn't have a damm JOB! How is he going to take care of the child? And he REFUSES to leave me no matter what. That's why he's BEGGING me....
2006-10-24 16:09:20 · update #2
This is a tough one. I think you should give him a chance and tell him he needs to get a good job and show that he can help with household finances and help care for a child. I don't think you should just take a baby from him and it sounds like you really love him. This is something that only you can give to him. He can't have a baby without you. Are you willing to let it ruin your relationship? Because I think that will be the end result. I commend you though for choosing adoption over abortion- congratulations on making a very good choice. Let it ride for these nect nine mos... get your adoption all planned out for IF this is your end decision and also open yourself up to the possibiliy of having a child and allowing your boyfriend this happieness. Children change your life- and you don't want them... until you have them. My kids bring me so much joy- and they've made me grow up SO MUCH!! :) But I wouldn't trade them for all the money in the world. Good luck to you!
2006-10-24 17:35:15 · answer #1 · answered by momofthreemiracles 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry honey, but it's his baby too and he should have a right to say whether or not to keep it. When it's born he can have a paternity test done and after that he has as much say as you. Since you don't want a baby why don't you just give it to him and leave him?
Don't you think he'll love the baby enough to find a job and take care of it? Quit being so damn selfish. The man obviously wants the baby and if you love him and plan to stay with him then keep it. He'll never change his mind about wanting one and your relationship probably won't last anyway if you're going to act so selfish. Sounds more to me like you're just clamering for attention. BTW, after you have the kid make sure you get your tubes tied. Giving up for adoption if I'm pregnant, DETAILS!!!?
It IS the time of my month and I am a total hornball, my bf and I had sex last night with a condom, which we usually always do, but this time with our RIGOROUS action, it BROKE.. and he released inside of me. My period didn't start back up today... I have been working all day and it's.... done apparently. My period started a day and a half ago and I KNOW it isn't over, so yeah, I may be pregnant. He wants to keep it. I said F*@K no. Now he's f&%king depressed and moping around. He keeps begging it of me, and I matter of factly tell him NO. I'm prolife, and I would never abort. I can't keep this thing if I really am pregnant. I never liked kids and I never had a maternal bone in my body. They're dirty, they cry, they eat 24-7 and they need CONSTANT attention. I aint doin that, but my boyfriend is a stay at homer and I work all day everyday. He INSISTS he wants to be a stay at home mom, but I don't want it. I've called adoption groups and he's freaking out. How do I calm his a%$ down???
So you had sex last night and already know you are pregnant? If you are supposedly on the patch then why use a condom and why freak out when he releases inside you? You must be so freakin bored, go get a life. Your questions aren't serious and you are just wasting people's time.
GOD PEOPLE READ HER OTHER QUESTIONS! SHE'S NOT SERIOUS! SHE TALKS ABOUT PUTTING GERBALS UP BUTTS. SHE'S DUMB AND BORED.
2006-10-24 23:07:55 · answer #2 · answered by dolly 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are married you probably will not be able to give the baby up for adoption without him signing something. If you aren't married he may have to as well - probably depends on the state.
It's too bad the patch didn't work if you really didn't want children - but you should always use 2 forms fo birth control for the best protection.
Adoption is great because there are tons of people who would love to have a new baby in their lives - but it doesn't sound like you talked about this beforehand with your partner. He obviously wants the child.
Most likely if you are so against it and he is so for it it will end up breaking you up - there is very little possibility that he'd forgive you for giving up his child - so you might as well give the child to him when the child is born and sign away all parental rights. Then just realize if you change your mind down the road you are sh*t out of luck to put it bluntly.
Just think long and hard before you make this gigantic decision. Babies are hard and a lot of work but they are beautiful and wonderful blessings and there is no joy in comparison to your child staring up at you and smiling one of those toothless smiles.....
Maybe you should both go to see a councelor together and work it out that way.....
Good luck.
2006-10-24 23:05:20 · answer #3 · answered by Rae T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow...You took 11 pregnancy test to convince yourself that you were pregnant? That's amazing in itself. The "he" that you are talking about; is that your husband? Boyfriend? Boytoy? And is it his baby as well? If that's the case, you have no choice in the matter. You can not put it up for adoption because if you elect to have nothing to do with the baby, he would legally still be the father and has the option to keep the baby or agree with you and put it up for adoption. My recommendation you are asking? After you have the baby, go buy yourself 20 baby Great Danes or even just one. Only then will find what you are heart truly desires most. You are in denial whether you want to believe that or not. That is why you took so many pregnancy test. If he is willing to tend to the child while you continue to work, maybe you should reconsider your thoughts of what you want to do with the child and consider what "he" wants for the child. You are both in this togethr and between the two of you,you should be able to figure out what is most benificial for the child.
2006-10-24 23:27:57 · answer #4 · answered by retsiemeop 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I would rather not ever lay eyes on a dog again than to not have my children. I though I didn't want one either for a long long time, until I had one. When I looked into that baby's eyes I saw me. I saw me husband. It was great. But, I understand if you want to give it up. You will probably get a lot of nasty comments. I almost left one myself until I really thought about it. I have told so many girls on here that were thinking of having abortion to please please give it up for adoption. I think if you feel that you cannot raise this child that it is very responsible for you to give the baby up and make someone else's life complete and give your baby life. But, make sure you are sure and you know the emotional effects of giving up a baby before you do it. Is the baby's father ready to take full responsibility for this child himself? Since he doesn't even work I would say no. You and he need to have a serious conversation and he needs to listen and stop acting like a child. But, whatever decision you make, it should be a decision between the two of you.
2006-10-24 23:27:13 · answer #5 · answered by #3ontheway! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off a dog doesnt even compare to a child. A child is something very special and should be cherished. 2nd off if you do not want children why were you not on birth control some options are birth control pills/patches 98-99% affective, cervical cap 84-91% affective, female or male condoms 85-97% affective, depo-provera 99% affective, diaphragm 94% affective, foam cream jelly or suppositories 80-95% affective, iud 98-99% affective, natural family planning 65-80%, or tubal coagulation or ligation for women 99%, or the vaginal ring 98%. With so many options out in this big world there should be no excuse for a responsible person to get pregnant unless they want to. Third of you are so set against keeping your baby why not discuss the possibility of letting him keep the baby and become a single parent. With that solution you would get your way and he would be able to keep the baby and raise it like he wishes. Even though you may not want to keep the baby and take on that type of responsiblity you should be open to the idea of at least allowing he/she to go to their biological father who you portray as a wonderful man who would make a really great father. Hope i gave you some options and congrats on one of the best things in life.
2006-10-24 23:13:56 · answer #6 · answered by pinkjet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK... Flashback, about 4 years.
I had this friend who'd broken up with her BF a few months before.
She was in her mid-20's, had just been promoted to managment, was really enjoying her life... and did NOT want kids. Wanted to never have kids kinda like she wanted to keep breathing.
She kept having nausea. Tried a couple things that didn't help... went to the doctor... Found out she was 5 months along.
(She hadn't thought anything of her missed periods because she was coming off hormonal birth control, and hadn't had one in years.)
She wound up choosing to keep the baby, and it was the right decision for her. But if you'd told her that first week she would... She probably would have thrown a lamp at you.
I knew another couple... I won't call her a friend, because she never was. I kinda knew her BF (which is how I met her). They planned an adoption, and at the last instant she backed out, decided to keep the child.
Bad choice. For her, for the baby.
What was really hard was that -- at that time -- I wanted children and though I couldn't have them anymore. ("Why do the people who don't deserve kids get to have them???")
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Not having a job does not equate to not being able to care for a child. Sorry -- just had to get that out there.
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You've got roughly 9 months before any permanent decisions will be made. Just try to get through tonight.
2006-10-24 23:24:47 · answer #7 · answered by Katherine Blackthorne 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you are not ready for the responsibilities that come with sexual activity. You cannot put the child up for adoption without the fathers consent, unless you choose to claim you don't know who the father is. My husband and I would gladly take another dozen children over any dog. IMHO, you are being selfish.
On the other hand, I applaud your decision to carry the baby rather than exercise your right to kill it. I am so glad you have chosen to let this child live, that does show some maturity on your part.
I sincerely hope you will love this child by the time he or she is born. Children don't ruin your life, they make it so much better.
2006-10-24 23:03:16 · answer #8 · answered by shojo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can't say I have ever been in this situation, but my dad has. He has always told me that you need to not only marry someone you love, but someone with similar hopes for their future. My dad always wanted a Brady Bunch-style family, but that wasn't the case for my mom. She wanted me, and that's it. So that's all he has too. Sometimes he still wishes for such a family, but he understands and has come to accept his situation.
The point is, if you desperately do not want a child, but your significant other really does, you might want to step back and think about if you could live with a child. If the answer is no, see if your spouse can live without children. If he cannot, neither of you will be fully satisfied with your lives. Needs and hapiness come first.
Hope that made sense and good luck!
2006-10-24 23:09:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You obviously haven't put in the mix that he has to agree to the adoption if he is the baby's father. And you may feel completely sure about giving the baby up for adoption but you just don't realize how precious a child is. My best friend is 12 weeks pregnant and just went to the hospital and found out the baby has no heartbeat. She is devestated. Really think about it and put him in the equation.
2006-10-25 00:54:57 · answer #10 · answered by jewell2578 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋