Stressed husband is so difficult sometimes!!!?

Question

My husband is wonderful but on the other hand awful he has depression and is on medication. He is good we have been through alot but we have a problem when it comes to money he won't share the household expenses 50/50 thats what i want he only wants to pay half the house payment and some of the light bill i pay everything else including food. Everytime we discuss it he says he wants to move out and get an apartment we are going to counceling to get thru this issue but he tells her everything she wants to hear but when we get home its different. He is wonderful except money what should i do.

Answer 1

Not too tough to figure out hon...you just have to be creative. It's obvious you love this man and are willing to work through your problems. With that being the case, go and see your counselor by yourself. Tell her what is going on and then ask her if this would work. Tell her that you want to get your husband to take some of the responsibility or to learn to share it equally and you have a plan. Tell her that you would be willing to turn over all the monetary issues to your husband as long as you were allowed to oversee where the money went once a week. This would mean you would have to trust him enough to keep up on financial obligations (please don't do this if he's not responsible). And have her suggest this plan to him...don't have it come from you. This way, it seems like therapy, not a wife nagging at her husband. If it works, great, now he's contributing without even realizing it on a more equal basis. If it fails, offer to have you try doing this for awhile and see what happens. All too often, couples split over money and when it comes down to what matters, money isn't even in the big picture. There are ways to work around everything. I was once in your situation and this honestly worked for us. My husband was doing all the money issues until it no longer fit into his schedule and then he turned it over to me. Once a week, we still sit down and go over what has to be paid, but we both see where the money is going and as long as everything is paid and we see where we stand, it's never been an issue about who's money is going where. We've been doing it this way for over five years now and it's worked great. If this doesn't work, keep trying different things until you find something that works for you. Asking for his suggestions might help too! I wish you luck!

Answer 2

I'm not sure I understand why a husband and wife are doing things 50/50? Why don't you have a joint account and all the bills being paid out of that? I mean if that's what you're fighting over, then that would seem like the logical thing to do. Budget your money, have an allowance and stick to it!! I think that it is so petty for married couples to fight over money, yet that is the #1 cause for divorce. That is very sad!! Good luck to you both.

Answer 3

I can sympathize with you as for as being stressed, because I used to stress alot. I am on medication myself for stress, and when I fail to take it on a regular basis, I can feel the symptoms again.
The difference between your hubby and I is that I do support in paying all the bills or should I say that I give the money to my wife to pay them with, plus I work two jobs. Sometimes, I will stress myself out trying to make it to the next job on time.
I recommend your husband to talk to the doctor, and maybe he needs this medication changed, because I had to get mine changed once and it helped.
Good luck and I wish you two the best.

Answer 4

Maybe he does need to get out on his own for awhile.
If he keeps his own place, he'll see that it does cost more than what he's been helping with.

His depression could maybe use a break from you, even if you think things are ok.

Let him go for now. Keep up with the counseling for now and see if the counselor finds or sees any changes.

Hang in there honey!!

Answer 5

No he is not wonderful
when he tells you that he wants to move out tell him fine
you are tryng to make this marriage work and he refuses
instead of saying no he doesn't want counsoling he prefer to lie
so be honest with yourself the man is a JERK
know the truth about him so you can make the correct decission
Good Luck

Answer 6

If he doesn't put out then he needs to get out.It should be 50/50.The #1 cost of divorce is over money problems.I really hope that both of you will work it out.

Answer 7

let his azz move out ,come on how wonderful can he be he sounds selfish a man is suppose to support his family not 50/50 but 100%

Answer 8

I'm paying 90/10.Talk to my wife

Answer 9

The big question you need to ask yourself is why is he like that when it comes to money? I think he prob. has a relationship on the side.

Answer 10

A miserly man believes that the majority of women are squanderers, and this feature in a woman is unforgivable from the man’s point of view. Miserliness remains in one’s character forever and is growing with time.

Real man should be generous! But what if you got married to a greedy man? It would not be good to leave him just because of his greediness. What should you do if you saw signs of miserliness in your loved one before marriage? Should you marry this man or try to change his character?

If you don’t like some feature in your darling, don’t hope to change him during your marriage. You had better think if you can accept this man as he is. Let us classify all ********* men to better understand them.


GreedGreediness means the desire to grab something valuable, enjoy it and not to share with anybody. We say “He is watching you with greedy eyes” meaning “He wants to have sex with you”. Greediness based on the desire to enjoy everything of best quality. A greedy man buys some delicatessen and eats it alone, wears fashionable Italian shoes, but he will never buy a beer to his friend and dislikes giving tips to a waiter.

You can enjoy a happy life with a greedy husband if he loves you as much as himself. There lived a man who used to treat his guests with tea (no sugar) and bread (no butter). As soon as guests left, he and his wife used to open the fridge and got salami sausage, marinated game and quail eggs, and ate all this food with good appetite. His wife had plenty of smart clothes, and when the weather was bad she left her vehicle in the garage and took a taxi to insure herself from accidents. She had a good life because her husband spent much money on her, like on himself, and all other people got nothing. If you are not concerned about the reputation of your family with other people, you well get along well with a greedy husband of this kind.

How to recognize a greedy husband loving you. You two are watching TV and eating expensive chocolates. Doorbell rings, your darling gets up, hides the chocolates in the cupboard and goes to open the door.


Miserly man.

Spending money is a very hard thing for this man. He is constantly saving money. A greedy may is funny, a miserly man is tragic. He usually says that he is putting money aside for a rainy day or for some long-term purpose as constructing a house or purchasing an apartment. However, after time passes, he says he still has not enough money to implement his purpose. His “rainy day” is only when he has to spend his savings.

Only a miserly woman is able to be happy with this man. She will not be wealthy, but will pursue a modest lifestyle. We do not recommend all other women to marry this guy: even the biggest love to the wife will not make this guy spend extra money on her. Let’s look at the family of a miser man. The husband works at two well-paid jobs, the wife works at three such jobs. They are keeping their savings in the safe and are still wearing the clothes the man bought at low prices in the end of 1980s. They eat potatoes and porridge, and for this reason the wife is unhealthy fat. 17-year old daughter could not tolerate the depressing parents and left the family. The girl is living in a dormitory, he is going to college and studying. All this is called: “I must take care of my people’s future.

How to recognize a miser loving you. He is telling you how much money he has on his bank account and the amount of gold and diamonds in his safe.


Thrifty man.

This man sets a certain purpose, saves money and then implements this purpose. A thrifty man says, “We need five thousand dollars to buy a vehicle”. You both start thinking what expenses you had better cut to purchase the vehicle and live according to this plan. If only your husband makes the decisions what sacrifices the family should bear, and he continues insisting that all the points of this plan must be strictly observed, this means you met thrifty egotist.

You can be happy with a thrifty husband only if you have common purposes in life. But if he wants to save many to do repair works in the apartment, and you would like to make savings to go on holiday to Turkey, there will hardly be peace in the family. It is hard to live with a thrifty husband who does not love his wife that much or is even indifferent to her. This man is constantly saving money on his wife by providing her with less food and clothes. At the same time he is telling her that he loves her in any clothes. Because of such treatment, poor woman loses self-esteem and turns into a housemaid.

How to recognize a thrifty man loving you. He is happy to share with you his plans to purchase a country cottage and falls into excitement if you become enthusiastic about his ideas. He does not reproach you that you are spending too much on cosmetics and manicure.

Practical man.

He knows how to obtain the same item at cheaper price. He will purchase sanitary engineering and wallpaper in a warehouse, pirate software in a marketplace, Sony TV set from his friend-salesman without 18-percent tax. Practical husband does not sacrifice quality for the sake of low prices. He will not quit his idea of purchasing a first-rate washing machine just because stores give no discount for it.

You can live in opulent comfort with such a husband. Your wishes will always be granted with minimum expenses, but with consuming more time and energy.

There is a way to identify practical man who truly loves you. This man has many discount cards in his wallet, but he will never say, “Let’s go to this cafй, I have a discount in it”. He will take you to the place where you like to go
y man.