Hello, this is my first "question" I guess you could call it. I answered so many, i think its my turn now. lol :)
well, I'm 2 days shy of 6 weeks pregnant, I'm 21, married 2 years in january. we are young, but mature for our ages. this will be our first child... (I misscarried a year ago, I wasnt far along at all, maybe 5 weeks.) My husbands a great guy. but seems to be distancing himself from me, and not showing any sympathy towards my breast tenderness, 'morning' sickness, etc. etc... he is usually a very sensitive guy. any feedback? plus, my first OB/GYN visit is this friday... Im fearful of something being wrong... for example, ectopic (tubal) pregnancy, or something worse. any new ache or pain in my body makes me panic. I know a lot of my anxiety is because I had to stop my bipolar medication, and thats another worry... if I can go 8 more months and not go insane, and then no go into post partum or be a bad mother. can anyone give me any advice on cheering up?? :(
2006-10-24 14:59:00 · 12 answers · asked by Mary Moon 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Young you are. I was 23 when I was prego with my 1st. SCARED, scared, scared....doesn't matter what age you are. A first time pregnancy is a very scary thing. The changes you go through mentally and physically are so overwhelmimg and those men I tell you don't help matters much at all at times. My husband like every other man on the Earth have NO idea what it is like to be a woman, let alone a pregnant woman. My advice to you is do what I did. Talk about it ALL the time to the hubby. MAKE him understand what id going on in your body. TELL him that you need support. For the safety of you and his baby in the making. If you are stressed then the baby is stressed. Do what you can to stay comforatble and relaxed. Don't pay tooo close attention to every zip zap or pull. As your belly grows your skin stretches and it only makes sense that you'll have "growing" pains. Your belly is stretching to new forms...remember that. But do take notice of these pains and what nots and let your Dr. know of any concerns you have. Your husband is going through changes as well, remember that too. Tell him that if HE needs to talk about his 'feelings" (god forbid a man do that!lol) tell him that you're there for him. Your in this together. Good luck!
2006-10-24 15:14:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry for your miscarriage. But this is the time to be very careful in your first trimester(spelling sorry). I would talk to your Doctor about the issues you are questioning. Write down all the questions you want to ask your doctor, that why you won't forget and everything is covered. another reason why your husband might be distant is because of the first miscarriage. He might have that on his mind, and if he thinks if he doesn't get close he won't hurt so much if something is wrong. But I would ask him, and talk to him, tell him you are feeling the same way. anxious and nervous and you are scared. Communicate with him, he might be thinking everything you are. My prayers will be for you three. Please let us know how things are going. But just communicate with him, and I believe things will be okay between the two of you. You need to find out, because this is also causing you to be anxious. But I believe it will be alright, with the baby and the Husband. Like I said before, I will keep all three of you in my prayer, take care all of you, and God Bless you all. If you ever need to talk my yahoo Im is lonewolf8870 and my email the same. Take care for now. Please try to relax and think positive, I know it is hard, but the calmer you are the better things will be.
2006-10-24 15:19:37 · answer #2 · answered by lonewolf8870 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My first thought about your husband is that he's probably more afraid than you are. He could be worried that he'll hurt you in some way or upset you. If you two are normally huggers, I'd just get close to him more. Ask him to hug you or give you a shoulder massage, etc.
You sound like my mother in training with your worrying. :)
Worrying is not good for you. When you get those thoughts, shove them out of the way with pleasant thoughts. Think of buying all the new clothes and stuff for the baby.
Bi-polar, huh? Well, I can't help with that one. I'm sure you've already discussed all that with your doctor. Be sure to mention it the next time you talk to him/her. Express your concerns. Ask if there are alternatives. I'm sure you're not the first bi-polar mother. Someone has answers. Find others.
Congratulations and good luck! :)
2006-10-24 15:09:53 · answer #3 · answered by phaig93 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know that pregnancy especially this first trimester can often be and extremely isolating time. Society gives us the impression that it should be all giddy excitment and extreme bonding between partners- but the reality is that its a very stressful time both physically and emotionally!! Its hard to say whats happening with your partner- maybe he's starting to deal with some hugh anxieties as well-- I know for me I sometimes felt my partner was distance because I had hugh expectations that he should be the perfect husband-- make sure to share your feeling with him and discuss both your anxieties- I'm sure the medication issue might not be helping the situation. but just because feelings might be affected by lack of meds or hormones it doesn't make them any less real to you- be sure to talk to someone about whats going on with you
my advice is to seek out other woman either prego or with infants; I found this was the only way to truly find emotional support-- when you have frank and honest discussions about pregnancy and motherhood you realize you are not alone in such feelings and fears-- finding mother groups definitely helped me thur my post partum issues-- also speak honestly with your doc and find one that you feel comfortable with--
Good luck and know that your not the only one to feel this way
2006-10-24 15:09:56 · answer #4 · answered by tessie 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have been through 2 miscarriages & my husband acted the same way with the second pregnancy as your husband is currently acting. The second pregnancy he was afraid to get too excited for fear he would not be able to keep me on "even" emotions. I was hurt by it but now understand after having the 2nd lose. I think he just doesn't want to get your hopes up until you both know everything is fine w/the baby. Not to worry, I am sure it is. Please keep high spirits & try not to upset yourself too much over this. Your husband will come around.......also Congrats!!
2006-10-24 15:54:25 · answer #5 · answered by nonotredamefan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband is the same way. I honestly think that they can't even imagine what if feels like to be pregnant. Women were blessed with this gift. Keep on telling him how you feel anyway. Understand your body will ache and have many pains but it is completely normal. Feel blessed that you are having them because that means that your baby is growing and that is great. I don't think you will be a bad mother because you are obviously very concerned and that means that you already love this baby.
2006-10-24 15:11:25 · answer #6 · answered by kelliemag 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is very hard to get over a miscarriage and that is probably playing on your mind. The percent of first pregnancies that result in a miscarriage is amazing. A lot of husbands need time to adjust to a pregnant wife. As time goes on he will get excited about having a baby in his life. Talk to your doctor and she will reassure you that everything is going as planned. Good luck
2006-10-24 15:05:27 · answer #7 · answered by kny390 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
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2016-09-01 02:14:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
RELAX... go and get a massage or a pedicure. do something for yourself. think about your baby.. do stuff for your baby, get the room ready, start a scrap book for the baby. get your mind off of all of the bad things. its really not that bad. i promise. i just had a baby 7 months ago and they just light up your life like you wouldnt believe. i was married at 19 and had my first baby at 19. it will all be ok. your husband. i dont know.... maybe hes just adjusting to all of the changes that your body goes through.. i wish i could help there. good luck and best wishes to you guys.
2006-10-24 15:09:45 · answer #9 · answered by jabba 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be very careful if you're off lithium. See someone regularly to talk so they can tell if symptoms of bipolar are coming back. hope your husband gets more supportive, i guess he's just scared of all the changes coming up!
2006-10-24 15:09:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋