We got engaged about 2 months ago, been together for over 6 years. He is divorced and went through lots of therapy after that and doesn't want to do any more. Until he popped the question he had always sworn he would never marry again which was fine with me. Then one day out of the blue he proposes to me. Suddenly he is getting angry with me a lot. There are a few reoccuring issues that we have gotten in to fights over since we first started seeing eachother. I want to figure out how we can deal with them before we tie the knot. Help!
2006-10-24 13:38:37 · 9 answers · asked by umelu 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Let him know it is what you want and what is best for the relationship. Let him know that you love him and want to spend the rest of your life with him, and you know this is possible if you have a strong foundation. Hopefully he will understand and you two can get the therapy you want before you walk down the aisle.
Best Wishes!!
2006-10-24 13:41:03 · answer #1 · answered by poetic princess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definately get it sorted out before you tie the knot.
If you are both being snappy to each other have to thought about re-kindling your romance?
Bite your tongue and be the better person by trying to please him with little surprises here and there, perhaps his favourite dinner when he gets home along with a nice massage.
You'll notice he will change his attitude after realising you are not like his past relationships and that you are here to stay for better or for worse!
Couples therapy might be a bit to stressful to him and he sounds like the person to keep things to himself.
He may not like expressing his deep thoughts to a complete stranger, it may be very umcomfortable for him.
Try to get the romance ball rolling through some romance, picnics, surprises to keep the relationship fresh & alive.
I keep my fiance very happy with a massage after work because I know he works hard, massages can also lead to nookie which will really get the love going between the both of you!
The healthiest relationship is when couples are mutually involved, don't force him to go, you can't force him to do anything and thats not what a partner is there for.
Instead support him & love him & he will give it in return.
2006-10-24 20:51:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should ask him to talk to you about it and re-assure him it's not an argument just talking about your problems. Communication is the key and if you don't have any no amount of therapy will work. Also if you have not had a serious conversation about your problems, jumping into therapy is wrong. You should look at therapy as a last resort as it is always better if you can work it out between yourselves as an outside party can cause more problems.
2006-10-24 20:42:47 · answer #3 · answered by Abs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Theres no need to go to therapy for that..you need to talk to him and tell him how you feel...him gettin angry with you over silly things is not good...he probably takes you for granted so maybe you shouldnt let him have it so easy ya know...like dont do everythin for him and try and be more independent from him..dont let your life revolve round him...best thing you should do is organise a night for just you 2, no phones no interuptions...and have a few drinks and youll see the truth come out!
2006-10-24 20:44:05 · answer #4 · answered by mersie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
better to put off the wedding for a good while ! and take it easy and find out with him together what's going on . maybe a relapse?
2006-10-24 20:40:15 · answer #5 · answered by silverearth1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Therapy is bullsh*t. No one can talk someone into loving you.
2006-10-24 22:55:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are wise to be careful before marrying this guy...
2006-10-24 22:01:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if after 6 years,together you have not figured it out all the counseling in the world will not help.............
2006-10-24 20:42:46 · answer #8 · answered by tysgrandma99 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Stop having sex with him, that will get his attention.
2006-10-24 20:40:37 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋