would it be mean to tell my dad(who is homosexual and who i live with)that i don't really like living with him any more because his b/f is moving in and i don't haven't really fully accepted(or understanded)his homosexuality and i just don't fell right(comfortable)around that and also i am affraid some skewl people with find out...only one person @ skewl knows(my boy friend)and he dosen't care so i plan on keeping it that way...is that mean and or selfish...?and please only seriuos(un-hateful questions)
2006-10-24 13:34:41 · 13 answers · asked by Jazzi_Pha 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
and it's not that i hate gay people its just that i am not used to(and if feels weird)my dad being....if you know what i am talking about....
2006-10-24 13:45:09 · update #1
and its not that im ashamed of him its just that i am scared of getting beat up or no friends(at skewl)
2006-10-24 13:50:29 · update #2
Some counseling would be in order at this point.
2006-10-24 13:36:48 · answer #1 · answered by mrscmmckim 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would it be mean? No, of course not. This is not you saying "Dad, I hate your lifestyle, I hope you die.". This is you saying "I have some hang-ups that I need to work on and I don't want to ignore them and have them manifest themselves later in ways that will hurt you.". At least, that's the way it sounds and the way I hope it actually is. The worst thing you can do is grin and bear something- you're liable to explode one day, leaving everyone wondering what the heck happened.
That said, no, it wouldn't be mean. Will it break your dad's heart a little? Probably. It never feels good to hear that someone doesn't approve of you or feel comfortable about you, especially when it is your child. However, until your views change or you are able to happily live with him despite them, it's something you should address. Just be sure to do it in a very, very gentle way, explain yourself fully, tell him the problem is with you, not him, that you love him, but need time, etc., etc.. Don't be accusatory, don't make demands, don't make threats. Just be honest and open and sensitive.
Personally, I don't think there is anything inherently right or wrong or complex about homo- or hetero-sexuality. So I hope that you can learn to overcome these feelings- to understand and to accept/tolerate/love. But this isn't really about you, because to me you sound like you're halfway there anyways, just a little confused, embarrassed, and ashamed. I understand- when your parent is gay, it brings attention onto you, and it shouldn't, but it does. So it makes sense to not want people from school to know. That said, it will really be better when people know. No longer will you have to keep this heavy secret, wonder if people know, etc., etc.. But that's just my opinion.
Take care and love your father.
2006-10-24 15:11:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to your dad, and you need to realize that its the same thing as if your dad were to move in with a girlfriend. Not liking the situation because hes gay is discrimination. Don't think of it any differently.
If the situation is just that your not ready for another person to be in the house, or that your dad is with someone else, tell him that tell him you need time. But if you can at all help it, don't say you don't like it because your not comfortable with his homosexuality.
Personally i think you should see how it goes for a while, you may get comfortable with them being there together and then you can be a happy family.
2006-10-24 13:40:20 · answer #3 · answered by 1st time prego 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
think about what you are asking. this is the man who helped creat you and you have lived with him for some time i take it. this is your dad who loves you more than life and would do anything in the world for you. he would probably die for you and your well being. yes it is scary to think people might find out that your dad is gay and the thought of no friends or getting beaten up. but your dad lives with that fear everyday and still has time to care for you and to love you and to work and find a loive interest in his life. who knows what the future brings, but one thing is for certain, your dad will be your dad for life. he is the only one you get. school doesn't last forever and one day you will be out and never see most of those people again, but your dad will still be there. do you really want to risk losing your dad over a few friends and maybe a black eye(in the worst case senario).wheather or not you are comfortable with youf dad's lifestyle is another issue. if you don't know much about it then have a talk with your dad and be honest about your insecurities and ask him questions and let him know that you love him but are still a little unsure about it and tell him of your worries about school. being honest with your dad will only strengthen your relationship with him. and don't be embarrassed.
2006-10-24 16:25:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It would be disrespectful to treat your father in this fashion. If he is raising you, there is a good reason for that. And since you have alot of spare time to use the computer, he must also be providing a good lifestyle for you.
You've asked questions before, and it was suggested that you speak to your dad about how you feel. He's your father, and uncomfortable or not, that fact isn't changing.
If you are old enough to have a b/f then you are old enough to speak to your father about such important feelings. He needs to know these things.
2006-10-24 13:52:03 · answer #5 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not selfish it's normal. Human nature is to be nervous around something (or someone) that they don't understand. Maybe if you talk to your Dad he can help clear things up for you. Your parents are always someone you can trust.
Plus:
Who gives a crap what other people think about you. At least you know who you are and who your friends are. That's all that matters.
2006-10-24 15:21:15 · answer #6 · answered by that1kidme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it is selfish, if you don't feel comfortable with that kind of living situation, you should move. There is nothing worse than staying in a place you don't want to be. Explain to your father and if he is understanding, he would agree with you. I know if not that you don't love him, it is just that you don't feel is right for you.
2006-10-24 13:44:58 · answer #7 · answered by Boricua Born 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should sit down your dad and tell him how you feel. Don't be rude- he will appreciate you coming to him about it. Tell him that you just feel uncomfortable in that situation for some reason. Don't say that you will be embarrassed! Say you don't really fully understand everything that's going on. Hopefully you guys can work it out!
2006-10-24 13:39:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not selfish, not at all. You should be your dad's priority. If you're uncomfortable with the situation, he should respect you and think twice about this decision and its possible effects on you.
Remind him that you love him, no matter what. But explain your feelings on the issue.
2006-10-24 13:47:39 · answer #9 · answered by mtnlady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So... you'd rather give up a good relationship with the man that raised you... the reason you're alive... who found a man he loves enough to allow into his life... because you'd rather have friends at school? What a b*tch... yes, you're so f*cking selfish, I hope one day you see the consequences of your self-centered mentality.
2006-10-24 15:38:14 · answer #10 · answered by Phedre D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No , if thats the way you feel , you cant help who you are . Your dad should be concerned with you until your 18 , then he can do whatever he wants to .
2006-10-24 13:40:10 · answer #11 · answered by Oddwing 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋