Im in constant pain andI have never felt so empty in my life, I truly love my wife and and I can't seem to get any remorse from my her. What can I do to save my marriage and make this feeling go away?
2006-10-24 13:24:29 · 21 answers · asked by relyks76 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I just want to thank all the complete strangers the have taken more time to respond to me today than most people I know..
2006-10-24 13:51:44 · update #1
im sorry for you,,,but same thing happened to us a few years ago,,,ill never trust or feel the same about her again,,,hope your a bigger person than i am
2006-10-24 13:27:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all, I am so sorry that you're hurting. I hurt for you as I sit here reading this. I wish I could reach out and give you a hug.
I'm sure you must be devastated. but remember that she's the one who's done something wrong, not you. so don't go blaming yourself for something that is not your fault at all. she is a married woman, and had no business doing what she did. I understand that you want to save your marriage, and in order to have a chance of doing that, you're both going to have to sit down together and she needs to tell you why she's been carrying on with an ex-boyfriend, how long she's been doing it, and if that's all they've done or is there more.
If she's showing no remorse for what she's done, I would assume her heart is not in this marriage. and you would be better off without her. I know this is hard to hear, but you can't trust her. she needs to do some changing, or you need to get out of there. and in time the pain will get better. just remember, you didn't do anything wrong, she did.
I will certainly keep you in my prayers.
2006-10-24 14:39:40 · answer #2 · answered by atiana 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all let me say that when someone cheats it's usually because something is lacking in the marriage or relationship. Now, I'm not saying that this is all your fault so don't prickle up on me. I think the first step is to find out WHY she is stepping out of the marriage. And yes, I do feel that she has stepped out of the marriage. Second thing is to see if she is willing to take steps to repair the damage that you both have created because she is not blameless here. The third thing is to ask her to stop the correspondence with this man. If she is willing to work on the marriage then she should be willing to respect your wishes. I would start doing little things for her. Acts of love can go a long way sometimes and I don't necessarily mean with flowers, candy, jewelry, etc. I mean simple things. Start a load of laundry for her (but don't mix colors LOL), dry them and put them away. Take some stress off of her. Tell her she looks nice but don't gush. Give her attention that you might not ordinarily give. If things fall apart you can at the very least look back and say that you genuinely tried to make things better. Also...you might want to consider counseling. It DOES help! But only if both parties are willing to try.
2006-10-24 13:33:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes I would it appears your wife has never gotten over this guy and is most likely considering an affair with him he is also never gotten over her the feelings are mutual here and that means trouble. You need to confront her about this email and ask her what she is doing talking to an old flame?. She is disrespecting you and potentially breaking the vows of marriage. This is wrong if the tables were turned I doubt she would be okay with you email an old girlfriend. Get to the bottom of this if she is unhappy in the marriage then you need some counselling and time to figure out how you can fix this. Her not telling you her ex. BF lives in this new City is really suspicious?. I would be pissed if I had found this information out. She is being very secretive and that is one thing you are not suppose to have in marriage is secret's. God Bless and Best Wishes.
2016-03-18 23:42:17 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry for what you are going through. I would try counseling. It takes two to make a marriage work. If she is not willing to cut off ties to the ex bf and get counseling then move on. I am speaking from experience, you cannot make someone love you. Trust is a hard thing to get back once it has been broken. Most men would not even stick around for an explanation, they would just leave. I hope she will come to her senses or you will be strong enough to leave her. Whatever you do, I wish you luck.
2006-10-24 14:12:26 · answer #5 · answered by sdd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, this is tough. It takes two halves to make a whole. You can't do any 'saving of the marriage' unless she wants to also. How long has this been going on? Obviously she still has deep feelings--the question is--how deep and what does she plan on doing with them. You need to either have faith in your relationship and let this run its course, or after sitting down and really talking---I mean REALLY talking to her, take action, make some changes, renew your commitment or get some outside counseling help. Good luck.
2006-10-24 13:33:35 · answer #6 · answered by Nisey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her and let her know how this makes you feel. Continue to tell her until she gets the picture. I'm quite sure she wouldn't like it if you did the same thing. If she don't get the picture stay out late one day and when she ask where have you been tell her you ran into your ex and the two of you had dinner and a drink and if she don't approve of this then tell her this is the only way you could get through to her to show her how you feel.
2006-10-24 13:36:19 · answer #7 · answered by barbie2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im am sorry that you are dealing with this. To me its the same as cheating. You have a right to be upset and your wife needs to get her head out of her a$$ before she loses the best thing thats ever happened to her. If she doesnt seem to be remorseful for what she done then she probably isnt or just mad because she just got caught. I hope that things get better for the two of you and that its not over but if it ends she is the one to blame good luck.
2006-10-24 14:53:55 · answer #8 · answered by 2wild4u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well a big talk is in order, wouldn't you say? AND I'd be emailing that ex and ask what the hell his intentions are with your wife!
Don't allow yourself to be so sick that you can't handle and think straight in order to try and fix this situation.
Maybe counseling is in order soon???
Pain is bad when we find the one we love killing us..............but stand tall and talk it out.
2006-10-24 13:29:46 · answer #9 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Awwww...crappy wife...that hurts. You can't save your marriage alone. You don't give much detail but she needs to grow up and respect her vows. Listen, if she doesn't stop, you need to decide if she is worth this pain. Trust me on this one, you will love again if you leave her. You deserve better than this. I'm sooo sorry you have to go through this.
2006-10-24 14:15:52 · answer #10 · answered by me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband caught up with an old friend and lets just say things aren't what they used to be. If I didn't love him so much I would have jumped to conclusions that weren't true. Be careful!! do what your heart says.
2006-10-24 13:30:53 · answer #11 · answered by Amber C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋