I got married on january 3,2006 she so far has cheated on me twice she left once and stayed away for awhile,then I forgave her and let her come back so we could try to work things out. about one month later she went back to the same guy calls me all kinds of names and is absolutly insaine. she says she doesnt have time for me to understand. thats the only response I get. she left me for a guy who is like 400lbs when shes like 120lbs and shes 23 years old and he is 40 years old and lives in the projects. I live in a nice area and am 24 years old and have fathered one child by her. he counsels her on how she can screw me over and what to do and when to do. I have asked her what is wrong whats going on and get no response except for I dont have time for you to understand yet she has time to cheat. I have been a loving supporting father and husband and have done my very best i just dont get why she cheats and is so down right evil need advice.
2006-10-24 13:06:47 · 41 answers · asked by jerry1282004 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
YOU NEED TO GET DIVORCED. QUIT THINKING ABOUT IT.
2006-10-24 13:14:34 · answer #1 · answered by WJ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to call yourself a good father, the best thing to do would be to leave her. If she treats you like this, not even being married for a year, it can only get worse. Lots of women marry men, men who have been players and worse, thinking that they can change them. You cant change people. If you stay in the relationship your son is going to see this, see you keep taking a woman back who continuously hurts and abuse your love. In his future relationships he may think its okay for a woman to treat him like that, walk all over him. Or he could learn from her and do that to his future wife and take her for granted.
Some people always want more out of life and will never be satisfied. As much as you can work your butt off to provide for her and your son, she'll always want more and want things you cant always give her. By you taking her back after two times of already cheating shes established she can do whatever she pleases and still have you to fall back on if things don't go her way with her 400 lb lover.
If you really can't live without her, try counseling and figure it out before its too late to scar your son forever.
Best of luck hun.
2006-10-24 13:19:26 · answer #2 · answered by Barbara Faye 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a nice, level headed guy. Your wife doesn't appear to want to be married and wants to be with another person. How many times are you going to take her back? Sounds like she has lots of issues that you don't understand. You have a child with her and this is the most important thing. Please make sure your child is not around arguing or violence! If necessary get help from family and friends. Unless she agrees to counseling, you should consider moving out. Also, retain a lawyer. Initial consultations are usually free and he/she can give you advice of your rights. You are young enough where you can start your life over with someone who will appreciate and respect you. Trust me, she won't change over night. Good Luck. Zena
2006-10-24 13:15:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First let me tell you about me.
I was married for 7 years before. We had a beautiful 4 year old daughter. My ex-wife then decided it was time to start seeing other guys. First it started with her going out with the girls from the office for a drink after work on Fridays once in a while.
Then it became going out for girl's night every Friday. Then it moved to people from the office going out for drinks on various week-nights. Then it moved to her not coming home, and the next morning telling me she got drunk and stayed at a girlfriend's house. The scumbag girlfriend lied for her. I could bore you with more details, but eventually she came home one day and wanted a divorce.
We went to a therapist, and she admitted that she loved me, but wanted other guys sexually. She wanted variety, as she put it. All would be okay if we could have an open marriage. I filed for divorce the next day.
Why am I telling you all this. Because dude, you must know that some women can't stay with just one man. There are many reasons, but bottom line, there are women who think the grass is always greener elsewhere.
There is nothing you can do about it, but you have a choice. You can live with it or not. Dude, you have a decision to make. You need to decide what you're going to do, and do it. Wishing she would stay and love only you is just wasting your time.
TX Guy
PS: My divorce was about 25 years ago. Call me bad, but the poetic justice is that my ex-wife (after 3 more marriages) died of a diabetic low-sugar thing about 4 years ago. Some days I think about her death and smile. Me and my current wife enjoy my daughter's family and our grandkids. Yes I'm still bitter, but as for my ex-wife: phuck her!
2006-10-24 13:41:17 · answer #4 · answered by txguy8800 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my ex also said he didn't have time to explain things,he refused to go to counciling, and showed no remorse, so there was no where i could go in the marriage, there were no answars, he too had a girlfriend who was coaching him on how to hurt me.the best thing you could do is file for divorce, ask for custody of the child,and go forward with your life, be lucky you have found out now about her. we can't control others, or what they do, we can only control how we respond to the hurt we got, when we didn't deserve it.i would have to say it's time to see an attorney, and file for divorce, the sooner you do the sooner you will feel better.you already gave her more than a chance, and she still went back to him, so you kind of know what your future will be with this person. keep your dignity and leave this marriage before they do something else to you. seems like you have such a good heart, and she uses it against you to worm herself back into your life when things don't go right for her and the new boyfriend. get an attorney before she does,ask for custody first and be prepared to give reasons why the child should be with you.
2006-10-24 13:21:56 · answer #5 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not to be harsh but it sounds like she married you for security and thought she could walk all over you. I wouldn't tolerate it any longer. Normally I wouldn't say this because I am a true believer in marriage but, get a divorce quickly. If you didn't have a child, you could have gotten it annulled and it wouldn't have even existed by law. You have been married for less than a year and she should only be entitled to bare minimums. I don't know what state you live in but some states infidelity isn't a reason for divorce. I believe this falls under irreconcilable differences.
2006-10-24 13:12:54 · answer #6 · answered by eehco 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In many states adultry is grounds for a mother to lose custody of her child. If she doesn't have time for you what makes you think she will have time for the child you had together. My advice is to seek custody of your little one and divorce her on the grounds of adultry. You can't MAKE her work out the marriage but you do have a responsibility to that child you fathered to make sure he/she grows up in the most stable invirornment possible. You are now a parent FIRST AND FOREMOST and a spouse second. Good luck.....
2006-10-24 13:21:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you wrote is the classic symptom of the wife or girlfriend that needs A LOT of attention. She tells you she wants to spilt up yet she has a fit when she hears you're dating. It's like she wants you when SHE wants you. For some reason, she wants you to be jealous of her dating but you're not supposed to date anyone. Sounds a bit selfish to me. It also sounds like she doesn't know what the hell she wants right now. I know you love her but, when it comes to her emotions, she's extremely high maintenance. You'll have to dote on her hand and foot. If you think you can do that, good luck. I know if I acted "clingy' with my guy, he wouldn't be able to handle it.
2016-05-22 11:37:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry you are going through this. That's terrible! You need to divorce this wicked woman. You deserve much better than that. It is not a sin to divorce someone who is making your life a living hell! I think it's satanic to expect someone to stay in a destructive marriage like this. Just because you made a mistake by marrying an insane person doesn't mean you have to be chained to them for eternity. Cheating in a marriage should not be tolerated. That's just not healthy. Calling you names - making you miserable? Not good....You need to get yourself an attorney and file promptly. Be sure to gather any evidence of her infidelity to present to your attorney. Best of luck to you.
2006-10-24 13:27:44 · answer #9 · answered by darlingsweet 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave her and find yourself a new woman. You don't need someone who will treat you like that. I would also take her to court and fight for custody of your kid, however check with a lawyer before you make all your steps and try and get someone who will support you emotionally, it's a pretty rough thing to do.... but still way better than what you have now.
Best of luck.
2006-10-24 13:13:45 · answer #10 · answered by Keanu 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she only has you as a backup. Just in case something goes wrong with the other man. You need to hire a good lawyer and divorce her fast before she does something dangerous to you and your son. She might even be doing drugs. Keep a look out.
2006-10-24 13:27:44 · answer #11 · answered by Amber C 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋