Boyfriend won't move out. I own my house. I feel false guilt, I haven't done anything wrong except nag.

Question

3 yrs together, he doesn't pay his own bills, has almost $40,000 debt, I have no idea what he is doing with his money, he doesn't have much. He helps me with groceries and he will pay for small things like dinner here and there and that is about it, I am supporting him. I have caught him in lies, mostly about money. He will say he payed a bill and then I find out he didn't. I have been telling him to leave for a long time, said it many times, he won't leave. I have false guilt, like I am supporting him and now I am pulling the rug out from him. He doesn't have money, doesn't have a place to go. He has health problems. I want to tell him to be out in a month with all of his things, that I will pay off his vehicle and give it to him. I co-signed, he paid the first 8 months, I have been paying the payment for well over a year now. If not then I sell vehicle and furniture and all things will be out front. What do I do about my stupid guilt, I hate being this female.

Answer 1

It's not guilt. As a woman, you're hardwired to nurture. Particularly those childish, or in need. He's both of those things. To go against that maternal instinct is hard to do. Understand that what you're doing is mothering him. Then understand you're not his mother. Own those thoughts, and the "guilt" will disappear (as will the lingering attraction to him).

Answer 2

Hi Denis, For pete sake,this B A S T A R D saw you comimg.he is playing it for what ever he can get.using his health problems to make you feel gulity about throwing his dead A S S to the hurb. you deserve a HELL of alot more that you are getting. call the police dept. and tell them what is going on in your house hold and they will come out to your house and make him leave.he has no grounds to anything you own at all.about the vehicle,since you have been paying the payment i wouldn't give him S H I T.don't let him play you anymore.your not a door mat.i myself went through something like this awhile back.i call the police and he was gone that day.i didn't let that SON OF A B I T C H get away with any of my things.women deserve alot more respect and honest from men.they play us,and then laugh behind our backs. GOOD LUCK SWEETY,YOU DESERVE IT.

Clowmy

Answer 3

you need a man not a child. this sponge is a waste of space so sweetie it's time to clean your house and throw out the trash. you sound like a good person and maybe that's the trouble, this jerk is just using you as a meal ticket. get yourself some backup in the form of a couple of big strong friends and confront him at the door. let your friends "help him pack his gear" if necessary. don't be the victim anymore. he's only doing this because you are letting him do it. you deserve better than that and i know there's better out there. don't be scared to stand up and be counted, it's the most empowering thing you can do

Answer 4

oh my god, where were you when i was single? If you want, you could buy me something, and give it to me, and i wont even move in to bother you. PROPEL THIS PUTZ TO THE PAVEMENT WITH A PUNT TO THE POSTERIOR!!!!! The sex cant be that good. IF he wont leave, invite your new bf in, the big bouncer you pick up at some club, and have him do it for you.

Answer 5

i wouldnt feel guilty, you've done all you can. he obviously cant handle a mature relationship. i'd just tell him its not working out and he needs to leave. if he says no, i'd pack his stuff myself and set it out front and have the locks changed, but thats me. :) its time to clean house honey, and if you dont know what that means, you'd better sit down and think about it.