what do you do when you feel disgusted while having sex with your husband?

Question

as time has gone buy my husband has done so many ****** up things to me that i feel disgusted to have sex with him or even kiss him. he has cheated, lied, and even flirted with girls in fron of me. we are doing better now and i am trying to work things out but i just cant seem to forget the past.

has anyone else had this problem and if so how did you get over it?

by the way this question is for a friend.

by the way we have a 3 year old little girl and i dont want to take away her father

Answer 1

Your body and mind are trying to tell you something that you just don't seem to have the conscience to listen to them. Once a cheat always a cheat. Sure things are okay now but you are just waiting for his true self to rear it's ugly head again. You know in your gut that this isn't what you want or deserve! The child can still have an active father but you need to determine to you want to continue to actively pursue this relationship that is physically making you repulsed! My advice separate, give yourself the space you are going to need to sort things out in your heart and head. Can't do that with him snoring next to you. Ask him to move out you need to re-evaluate things for the sake of your marriage. If he loves you and is truly remorseful he will oblige and not get to huffy about it. During your trial separation, watch him...see if he reverts to his ole ways. Chances are he will. And then you will have the answers you need to move forward and make a better life for your self and your son. Good luck love!

Answer 2

All these women saying he's cheating.. sheesh. Always expecting the worst from us males. Not saying he isn't, but truth be told, there is no reason for a 'normal / healthy' man not to want to hump like a rabbit. You seem like a smart person, so I assume you've already taken a good hard look in the mirror to see if there is something about your appearance that is a turn off. Also, listen to some of the other guys here, and think if you're being verbally negative in some way which is upsetting him. You say he falls asleep in like 2 seconds and is to tired at night to want sex. Well, if he's been with you all day (so you know he hasn't been anywhere else), and hasn't just gone for a 5 mile run before going to bed, he should not be to tired. Perhaps some health problems could be affecting his energy? Is he eating right, and does he do regular excerice. I've heard that can be a big contributing factor for men loosing their sex drive. I'd speak to him, let him know you're concerned and feel you no longer attractive, and perhaps seek some counseling. Good luck,

Answer 3

i know i've said time and time again that sex is not the only part of a relationship, but this can be tricky. It is too big of a part of the relationship to let go when things turn sour (sexually) but still maintain a happy relationship. From a woman's point of view, I can understand the bitterness that has built up in over time over some of the things that the two of you have been through and how it affects you now. (he probably apologized and you thought you were over it, too until the next time you're intimate with him and all those feelings of bitterness come rushing back.) Give yourself some more time to try and get over this. If you can't beat it mentally your disgust will eventually become obvious when you try and handle it physically. You may have to end this, because if deep down you're unhappy then ultimately you'll both become unhappy. You can still end the relationship with your husband but still allow him to maintain a relationship with his daughter. You'll always have your daughter to keep the two of you connected in some way or another. GL2U

Answer 4

OK Friend. To begin with when you a re doing your wifely duties, go into your happy place. Let your m ind take you to a paradise that he has no clue exist until you can copulate with him and be all there. It sounds that he has treated you pretty bad in the past, but staying in a sour relationship for the childs' sake is never good. Children are very perceptive and can tell when things aren't what they seem. Do yourself and your child a favor and get out fast.

Answer 5

If this is true what you are saying then it is time for you to move on and get over this one. He is not worth it if he is cheating on you.
Cheating is the worse offense in a relationship. Some forgive but most never forget. You have to be a very strong person to forgive the person who would stoop so low as to cheat on their partner.
Move on, honey, and find someone who will be honest and sincere to you. Good Luck to you

Answer 6

My husband did the same thing, and I divorced him. There is much worse things than taking a child away from the other parent. What kind of example do you think he is setting for your toddler? The best thing your husband can do to set a good example for your child is to honor you and be respectful of you. If he does not do that......what is he worth? Kick him to the curb and find someone who will show you the respect you deserve.

Answer 7

In order for you to get beyond your fears, your husband is the one who has to put forth alot of effort towards your marriage.

BUT if he cheated, and still flirts in front of you, I can tell you right now....the cheating will continue. It's just a matter of time before he finds the next one.

You don't have to take your daughter go without a father, he can always be in the picture. You know, if you allow your hubby to hurt you, your also allowing him to hurt her.

Answer 8

Wow, the things women put up with for the sake of the child. I'm sure you'd left him by now if it wasn't for your precious little girl. I had an ex-fiance that made me feel that way except I'd grown attached to his son. I'd have me a few glasses of wine (or whatever your drink preference is) and that would put me in the mood.

Good luck to you!

Answer 9

Counseling may be needed to get past this bump in the road. Your friend may still be carrying some pain and resentment which is very normal. Talking through these problem with a counselor help immensly.

Answer 10

I would divorce him. It sounds like you honestly don't love him anymore. It's hard to be sexually attracted to someone who has done these abusive things. I don't blame you for feeling that way. Do yourself a favor and end the relationship - it sounds very toxic. The pain of ending it might be tough, but not half as painful as the pain of NOT ending it! Good luck!