Ok short version...
Wife and I have been together 6 years (Married 4 years)
We have had our ups and downs as all couples do...
Recently we split up for 8 weeks and we both dated...
We have been exclusive for the past
During mediation / counseling we decided to give it another try it is going well everywhere but in the bedroom (UGH)...
Guys I am even having trouble gettting aroused and I am still very in love... BUT I am struggling... I am also having insecurtiy issues with the guy she dated and ugh need help here...
What do I do to fix this???
I really want this to work
2006-10-24 12:43:01 · 12 answers · asked by John G 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to first think about what it is that is blocking you from getting aroused. Is it that she dated this other man and it comes to your mind when your trying to make love and in essence killing the mood? If not, is it a physical thing that has popped up ( pardon the pun ) at just a bad time, that may need some further looking into. Dont put sooo much stress on performing in the bedroom. It will come and so will the both of you.
2006-10-24 12:49:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You both still love each other, what I do not understand is, dating other people. instead of trying to work on your problems,,,,has brought you more problems...all these feelings you are having are normal .but you both have created them...your ego has been taken over buy another man and you will struggle with these issues for a long time a man has a harder time with this problem it is just in him and you cannot help the way you feel.....an open marriage is trouble there is no way it can work if you still love eachother...you are insecure because your wife has been with another man....I feel that you both have hurt each other trying to prove a point and these are the consequences you face,,you both need professional help to save this marriage and I hope you get it because there is still love here...sureilll
2006-10-24 20:05:15 · answer #2 · answered by COOKIE 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried psychological counselling? Maybe you could have some issues that are so complicated as to needing a professional. But then again, there are a lot of men who have ED, which is erectile dysfunction. There is help for that condition but you would have to talk to your doctor and possibly get some free samples of viagra or have him write you a RX.
You never mentioned your age but erectile dysfunction could be your problem and not even know it. Only a doctor knows for sure. Good Luck to you, dude, and I hope everything works out for your marriage. I believe all couples should strive to work out their differences and never divorce. Divorce should be the very very last option. good luck to you and your wife.
2006-10-24 19:52:10 · answer #3 · answered by PsychoSam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This problem should be addressed in your counseling sessions.
You need to get this other guy out of your mind. Do you think your wife may also be thinking about the other women?
You need to communicate deeper here.
Maybe you 2 need to do a little spiceing up in the bedroom. If your starting over, may be you need to start over with new things, toys, ect.
If it's your last resort, I'd see a doctor. It's nothing to be ashamed of.
2006-10-24 19:50:34 · answer #4 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you thought of discussing the issue with your doctor?
Otherwise, I would address the issue with her -- let her know that the guy she dated is causing you to have struggles. Maybe you can do some investigation on how to spice things up in the bedroom. Then, it may just take some time for your heart to heal over the guy she dated. Time maybe be your best answer. Good luck!
2006-10-24 19:49:53 · answer #5 · answered by JB 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The insecurity regarding the guy she dated is the reason you are having the problems. I would go get some Cialis to help you out in the bedroom. (Cialis is the best of the big three. You have 36 hours to have sex after taking it, you do not have to take it on an empty stomach, and it works) I think once you start perfoming in the bedroom, you will stop thinking of the other guy. Just remember, she left him to come back to you, so you have a big edge. Good Luck.
2006-10-24 19:48:09 · answer #6 · answered by Bill 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you went seperated for 8 weeks rules are the same for both . you dated someone so she did too! There is no need to have a problem about ! You really need to think about what you want in life ! You can not always go on breaks .... you married for good a and bad ! A lot of comunication you will need to do with your wife. you nee to talk about your want's and needs in life and for your marriage
Good luck
2006-10-24 19:47:02 · answer #7 · answered by silverearth1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its called stress. do something to relax and quit thinking about it. i had that problem with this woman i had been trying to get sexual with for months, i was nervous and stressing about my performance, she was 34 i was 45, and i could not get hard. so the next time i just sat, talked with here started making out and nature took its course
2006-10-24 19:49:50 · answer #8 · answered by keithy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it's easier said than done - but don't let it worry you!
You worry it gets worse
It gets worse - you worry more...
etc...
Focus on what turns you on!
If that fails - Viagra...
2006-10-24 19:50:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't help you there, but good luck on your relationship.
2006-10-24 19:44:10 · answer #10 · answered by masterurownmind 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋