Hello ye awesome person who will help me,
Here's the situation: My best friend is gay, and I'm a straight girl. We see each other everyday. At times I sleep at his place for weeks at a time. We sleep in the same bed. We cuddle, we spoon. We give each other massages. He likes butt massages. He likes to tickle the area where my butt meets my thigh. We've split up household duties including chores and dinner. We hold hands on ocassion. But he's gay. What's weird is that when start to get close (like after staying in bed all morning and all that), he'll get all weird and repeat: I'm gay. You know I'm gay, right. I like boys. He says this in a sing-song kind of way. He has a ton of gay porn, but has been known to watch straight ones. Oh, and he plays with my breasts with his feet, and likes to place his feet in my crotch. Ya, I know...
He's had some gay relationships in the past and he really wants a boyfriend. His most serious relationship was with a boy he met in the city, who actually lives 500 miles away. That guy spent the weekend with him, then he went up to see him and spent a week with him there. After that, the guy moved to Japan for 2 years and they broke up.
I've known him for 2 years and the longer we're together, the more intense/abnormal our friendship is getting...with the physical stuff that is.
I guess my question is:
What would a "normal", or typical gay man/straight girl relationship be like?
Is the stuff we're doing ok, or am I just reading into things?
Can someone be bisexual when he has a greater physical attraction to men, but a strong emotional attraction to women?
I'm a bit confused as to where we stand. We both love each other, and we've both said in the past that if things were...different, we probably wouldn't have to look any further. I don't know. I guess I just need help sorting things out.
2006-10-24 12:35:58 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It might be that he is so confused with what he really desires, and you might just enjoy the friendship a little too much that it seems no biggie for you two be too close. In some way i understand how it is, because i was in the same position as to having a best friend whos gay but the difference was that im a lesbian and but for a while had to dated men so my parents wouldnt know was sup.......it was hard but sometimes and still today ppl think we are a couple and its crazy cuz we somewhat sometimes use to act like it when i was single......which is not the case anymore but i think you guys should set boundaries so things dont escalade to something bigger and to the point where lines are being crossed....i totally understand the fact that he is your best friend but that doesnt mean that is ok for him to get physical with you like if he was your man, or allow him to do such juz cuz you know he is gay. Pehaps you should stop sleeping over at his house, and having limits on certain things foreals.
2006-10-24 13:21:23 · answer #1 · answered by Lizzy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess normal is whatever you want to get out of the relationship. If you were fine with this relationship would you be asking these questions? Do you want him as a boyfriend or as a friend, if just a friend then maybe cut the physical stuff or if you want him as a boyfriend tell him how you feel and maybe take a break from him, get away, think for a while. And i personally think the feet thing is just his way of getting it, with out you thinking he is straight. Good luck!
2006-10-24 12:42:32 · answer #2 · answered by kat 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
FLASHBACKS! I had a relationship with a gay guy that was exactly like that and I fell so in love with him. He needed a "Skirt" ...some woman he could go out with and not be outed as gay. This guy doesn't want people to know yet and is using you to hide behind.
You can be friends for a long time but you won't ever be able to have him. He is probably pretty unsure of himself as far as any long term relationship goes. You stand to have a lot of wonderful memories but not any future ones.
You'll have to make up your mind what you want to do about that...pursue something permanant or hang around as a "skirt". I did that once and had a great time with him. Best memories of my life! I wish I could marry someone like that! It will never happen though.
A straight guy isn't nearly as interested in you except as a sex object. A gay guy is interested in the way you do things as he is trying to copy your behavior and is studying you with the most intense of attention. Straight guys don't do that...its a shame too, don't you think? I love the attention a gay guy gives me! They try to laugh like me, walk like me, talk like me, eat like me...I'm flattered really. A straight guy isn't interested in you except as a pussy! What a shame!
2006-10-24 12:47:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Uh, no, it's not normal. I don't think it's normal for a straight girl to sleep wiith a gay man, and expect a life partner out of him. Obviously you want something more, and by doing what you two are doing only confuses things.
2006-10-24 12:45:09 · answer #4 · answered by msavagenoble 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no black and white in our world, even though every conservative group out there would like to fit every little thing into a pretty box like that. Hey, just talk to each other, be honest... if he is gay-bi-or straight, does it matter? I mean, it is just another "label" like different races, religions, deodorants, or candy bars. I love who I love for whatever reason it is that I love them. I have sex with who I want to have sex with (male or female) because I just so happen to want to have sex with them.
Labels schmabels... leave that to the stuffy stuffersons of the world.
2006-10-24 12:47:04 · answer #5 · answered by A Nameless Font 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
your situatin very much resembles the same as a friend of mine...shes basically in the same exact position as you are. your friend sounds very confused on which he wants .boys ,girls or both.. he needs to make up his mind on which way ya know? if you let him be that physical with you i see you may have more then a friends feeling for him... my advice...dont fall to far unless you know what the deal is..ur not the only one in this postion so dont thing ur weird lol good luck
2006-10-24 12:42:54 · answer #6 · answered by celestialshorty 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
your heading for a hart break but just remember he is gay and it is ok to love him but he doesn't want whats between your legs he loves you as a person be his friend but find a lover for yourself because he will never be yours completely.
2006-10-24 12:45:24 · answer #7 · answered by steamroller98439 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go to the store and get a strap on... u do him in the butt and then u let him do u in the butt... there... problem solved
2006-10-24 12:57:21 · answer #8 · answered by Alisha S 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
i think he is bi sexual or he is straight and just says hes gay because hes scared or something
2006-10-24 12:41:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i dont think hes only gay
2006-10-24 12:38:11 · answer #10 · answered by numba_1_babii 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋