my boyfriend has a anger problem he gets angry for no reason and throws plates and things once he even kicked a traffic light he says he does it so he dont hurt me but i dont do anything to make him angry i have told him to see a doctor but he cant see the problem and its upsetting me
2006-10-24 12:02:14 · 15 answers · asked by HARLUN S 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
hi yha i do had a same problem to stop him doing that the best way is u do the same at least when he see u 3 or 4 times like this he will stop automatically
2006-10-24 12:05:24 · answer #1 · answered by chittu kutty 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So, your bf kicked a traffic light and claimed he did it, so he didn't hurt you, eh?
There are two big problems here:
1. He is unable to express his feelings and something builds-up inside him until he explodes in fury. This means he's got issues that he is either afraid to express, is unable to articulate, or are a result of a psychological problem.
2. He can only release his feelings through violence. He's given you a hint here, by saying he kicked the traffic lights to ensure he doesn't hurt you.
What happens when there are no traffic lights or objects to smash and prevent him from hurting you? You know what the risks are, because he'll need to damage something (or someone!).
You obviously care for him, but he's being unfair. You need to put yourself first.
Tell him that you feel upset and scared by his unpredictable outbursts. Give him the ultimatum.
Either he get's this issue resolved by professional counselling (or get a Doctor to recommended anger management.). Otherwise, you're unable to put yourself at risk anymore & it's over.
I suspect his issues are connected to your relationship. He's possibly very insecure and this problem is a combination of suppressed concern about losing you, but also serves as an excuse for his strange mood swings. I say this because he reacts around you, but can't let you in. As if he needs your attention, but wants to maintain a protective barrier.
This issue lets him apply emotional blackmail onto you if needed. If you try to dump him, he may well say "You wouldn't leave a person that needs your help through an emotional issue would you? After all, our problems are all temporary, it'll be better soon"
Don't be fooled. He's playing with your emotions and abusing your good nature. If he doesn't commit to getting this issue resolved, just finish it. It's best for both of you.
2006-10-24 13:20:40 · answer #2 · answered by Cracker 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The only thing you need help with sweetheart is to pack your bag and leave before you become the traffic light or plate, it's only a matter of time!!
If he trully loves you he'll get himself sorted quick smart and come back to you.
2006-10-24 12:32:52 · answer #3 · answered by Sweetcakes 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give him 24 hours to get help, cause he will lose it and hit you before long. It's not a problem he's just a violent maniac, unfortunately girls normally don't understand that even after it's too late, don't make the same mistake.
2006-10-24 13:47:22 · answer #4 · answered by Bealzebub 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He definitely leads help and if he doesn't change you need to get out of there. It's only a matter of time before he doesn't have something to hit and hits you. From what you said it's you that's making him mad, sounds like a jacked up relationship to me.
2006-10-24 12:05:28 · answer #5 · answered by clancrs 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you need to keep that aggression focused away from you. That is really what he is doing if he is not hurting you. leave him or understand him. he has anger issues and you have to deal with it (yourself or with help). I would get him a punching bag for christmas.
2006-10-24 12:07:49 · answer #6 · answered by Coach inthefight 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh girl you need to take that man to the doctor or else one of these days he's going to hurt you.
2006-10-24 12:06:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh boy this guy needs professional help..there is nothing you can do if he wont seek help..get away from him before he hurts you..
2006-10-24 12:07:44 · answer #8 · answered by dr.pepper106 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Run, the mans a loon, he'll do you sooner or later, they always do and then you/ll forgive him and he'll do it again, they always do.
seen this a few times.
2006-10-24 12:07:47 · answer #9 · answered by DAVID H 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to try and get him into counciling before it escalates there are helplines for women in your situation search the net for numbers if you can
2006-10-24 12:05:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋