my mom just called me and said that my aunt just died who lives 3000miles away from her...she was hysterical and was saying how she really needed to go home for a few weeks. i called my brother and he said no and i have a newborn and i really dont have the money...but, even if we had the money ...we dont know if we would help becausemy mom has this new boyfriend back home and its like her to use a tragedy for alternate means... ...i have a feeling that even though she is grieving, she maybe also trying to go see this man... ...the history of my mom is that she has always let men be a reason for her to not be responsible... ...i hate to think that this is what she is doing this time but, its hard not to..she is asking her job for 2wks off with or without pay.. ..she cant afford that and she doesnt need 2 weeks to grieve for her sister in law that she hasnt seen in over five years... ...am i being mean and could she really be this hurt about this death with no thought of this man?
2006-10-24 11:30:29 · 8 answers · asked by Carmen 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
it sounds like you know your mother pretty well. If she has done things like this in the past, whats to stop her from doing it now? Your instincts will tell you the truth. You KNOW she doesnt need that long to grieve, you KNOW she cannot afford to take the time off and you KNOW that she may have alternate reasons for leaving. I would say this: tell her straight up. You do not belive her SIMPLY b/c of the past times shes lied to see a man, tell her you understand that she may be upset about the loss BUT you have a child and that child is your #1 priority. She needs to grow up and as hard as it may be to tell her this..its not your duty to make her do that...so do what is best for you and your baby..say what you need to say and she will just have to deal with it. after all, she is a grown woman..she should understand that it may be hard to lose someone but if her life and money situation cant allow her to be there, its life..its just the way it is. Good luck...=0) p.s i dont think your mean at all, your watching out for your newborn, thats it.
2006-10-24 11:39:39 · answer #1 · answered by thatgirluknow 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No...i have an aunt like that....she will be all upset and hysterical if somebody in the family dies bu she hadnt seen them in five years....she may be looking for attention...that is why she may be trying to see this new boyfriend....you have a newborn baby....they are expenisive...you cant just get up, leave work and go comfort your mother...she is a grown women and she will eventually get over it....Im sorry to hear about your aunt...... Dont worry things will get better and your mom will get over it.....
2006-10-24 11:38:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anna-Banana 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You mom needs to deal with her grief and it is NOT fair that she should be asking you for money. She is a grown up enough that if she needs a plane ticket that she come up with a way to get one besides sponging off her children. You have a newborn child to care for and your own problems!!!!! If anything, be nice and listen to her vent, but DO NOT offer any money no matter what - PERIOD!!!! If she is going to screw up her life not working - that is NOT your problem. If she is going to wreck her life over a guy, let her, but don't feel responsible in the least when she comes crying to you!!! She did her job and raised you, so now you do your job and raise YOUR child and leave your mom alone - whatever her problem is it is her's alone!!!! Don't let her guilt you or make you feel bad, because if she does you can always hang up the phone, not answer your door, and stand up for yourself - PLEASE!!!
2006-10-24 11:42:29 · answer #3 · answered by Michaela 4120 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are absolutely not being mean. The history of your mothers actions are telling you not to help. I wouldn't if she was like that in the past, she is most likely doing her same song and dance now. Be proud you and your brother caught her. She is not grieving for your aunt she's grieving for her boyfriend......
2006-10-24 11:39:13 · answer #4 · answered by Ms.Deb 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Help her even though it is clear that she is using it for other means. Lets face it, no woman likes her sister inlaw. The big battle is between the mother in law and the daughter in law but there is also a small battle and that is between the sister in laws. And even if she was two weeks is too much for a sister in law she hasn't seen for five years.
But if she is taking two weeks off then it means something and you should help her. Cause a mother is the most important person in someones life.
2006-10-24 11:41:47 · answer #5 · answered by Mr Business 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why dont you ask her? I mean you shouldnt judge her during something like this. Who are you to judge how she feels? Im assuming your just very hurt right now which can cloud your judgement of your mom. You need to tell your mom how you feel before you say something you may regret.
2006-10-24 11:36:53 · answer #6 · answered by Bambi 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
She might, and since she's your mother I say you should at least try to help her... as much as I hate my mother, I'll do anything if she needs it drastically, and your mother seems to need help...
2006-10-24 11:33:47 · answer #7 · answered by HK3 Soul Smash 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
dont be mean to her you will regret it later
2006-10-24 11:34:41 · answer #8 · answered by Ashley C 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋