Are people for real when they talk about love for a partner?

Question

so many people say truely romantic strong things about the person they love, am I just a cold hearted ***** because I would only die for my children, that's it, end of.
People say such beautiful things on here about there partners and how they know they are in love, like it hits them in the face.

I am a very good partner and love my other half very much. But all that other stuff, I dont grasp. We have a good sex life and we have lots in common, we live and work together very well and have two amazing children. But Ive never felt such strong emotional feelings for anybody other than my children.

I have had only two loving relationships in my life, one of them being my partner now, both have abused my trust so to speak, my partner now has shown very much that he regretted it and has worked hard to try to put things right and behind us.
I wonder if this is the reason why I dont allow myself to have such strong needful feelings like other people have with . Or I'm just cold hearted

Answer 1

i am like you also, im not a soppy romantic type either. I have never felt that way about anybody, although i am engaged and getting married next year, and we also have a child. I think some people do have those feelings and others like us dont. I dont believe in soul mates either or 'the one'

I think some are telling the truth when they are saying stuff like 'it hits you in the face' and ' i just knew'

So i do believe that you can feel like that about somebody it just depends who you are

Answer 2

I don't think you are cold hearted. Probably guarded if you've been hurt by the two people you've loved.

You love your children beyond question, because they are a part of you. Your kids don't walk out on you to find another mum for one start! A partner is not the same.

I suppose I'm like you too. Once bitten and twice shy & all that!
I love my husband but if I had to save him or my son from a burning house, my son would win hands down. No debate needed at all!

I often think that life is too short to hold back, especially when it comes to matters of the heart... People who live really fullfilled lives are the ones that take risks. Maybe it's time for you (and me) to let go and open up a little more. You are obviously not physically guarded because you say you have a good sex life but maybe it's time to open up and let him in a bit more into your heart ... Let yourself be a little vulnerable... Anyway, just a thought...Up to you.

Good luck!

Answer 3

I don't think you are cold hearted. I am going through a divorce after 7 years of marriage and 13 years together. I still love my soon to be ex very much. I love him more than I have ever loved anyone. I know that we are truly soul mates but I have to be me and he doesnt' want that. So in my case no matter how much I love him love will not "save the day". We are good friends and the separation is hard but getting easier everyday. We have two kids that we both love. I think some people love with there emotions and some people love with their brains. I am an emotional person so the attachment I feel for my ex is hard. You probably are just more practical about your feelings and the role they play in your life.

Answer 4

I dont think you are cold hearted you might be guarded though. Once you been hurt its hard to get past that and let your self love fully again. I know I have NEVER had a relationship where I would die for the other person. Now my children is different I would kill and die for them no questions asked! not every person needs to have that kind of love...or feel t for someone else!

Answer 5

No, I don't think you're cold hearted. All parents feel that way about their kids. You've been hurt in the past and for some it's hard to get over that. You said that your spouse now has worked had to to put things right, Just remember if you're going to guard you heart, judge him & others on how they treat you. Don't go around thinking the word is out to get you, and in return that's how you're responding to then. Actions speak loader than words. It was said in church last Sunday that to be a "SERVANT" to others is you being a child of God. I belive I speak for a lot of husbands. My family means the world to me, and I would give my life for them because they are my life.

Answer 6

Love is a trust issue and you have the scars to show that was abused. I don't know any relationship that was ever the same again once a partner cheated. You seem to have a workable relationship but I suspect it is not as good as it might have been.
Only time will tell if it will come right for you, but I hope so.

Answer 7

Does your partner know this? I understand where you are coming from, really. I was sexually abused by a man and then my husband was abusive and selfish and didn't like sex. I left him for another man who has changed my heart about everything. I , like you, heard all about those feelings from other people's relationships, but I never felt them. I thought I was weird. I didn't like my husband much less love him or have passion for his body or lovemaking. We were never friends. However, with my new partner, he is my best friend. And that makes ALL the difference. Really it does. Connecting through true love changes everything and how you look at someone and others too. It makes you smile!

Answer 8

Well you said it yourself,,,he broke a trust thing with you. Thats why you feel the way you do about the love thing. Its great that you love your children,,,and would die for them....I think you need to open up your heart after you get over your issue with your husband. Yes i would die for my son and my man. I love both of them and of course my son unconditonally,,,but when you have the right man..you will know it. Im sorry for whatever your husband has done to you,,,but give him a chance to prove to you how much he loves you ,,,and you do the same for him. ..let the negative feelings go and open your heart to him,,,you might feel differently.

Answer 9

i dont think it matters unless you yourself feel your missing out on someone, the only unconditional love is reserved for your children. you love your other half so thats all you need to know really, anything else is secondary, you sound like you have a home life many people including those who profess the feelings of love they feel, be pleased you've got two fantastic children and a partner who while isnt perfect loves you back. at the end of the day no ones perfect anyway. dont worry about it unless like i say you feel your missing out.

Answer 10

I don't think your cold hearted. Your just a mom.

Oprah was asking these serious questions one day and I wrote one down and asked my husband.....His response was different than mine. It was kind of surprising.

Question was like: If your spouse and one of your kids both needed a kidney transplant who would you give your to.

I said my kids so they could live a long happy life. (sorry honey)
He said he would give his to me because we can always have more kids but he would never be able to replace me.

I felt really bad. He makes me feel kind of bad sometimes. I mean, I know I am very, very lucky to have someone like this to be married to but these are our children we were talking about!