Hi everyone I am looking for funny tombstones sayings, any ideas?

Question

This is for my Halloween decorations in my yard. So short is
better and of couse PG, but I'll take any thing I could use the laugh.

What about "Here lies Ema Roids she had no time for perparation!"

Answer 1

"Here lies the body of Jonathan Pound
Who was lost at sea and never found."

"I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK!"

"Here lies the body of Leslie Moore -- No Les, no Moore"

"Here lies an athiest, John Doe
All dressed up and no place to go!"

"I can see my house from here!"

"Here lies Ann Mann,
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann."

"I put my wife beneath this stone
For her repose and for my own."

Answer 2

Here lies Lester Moore; Four slugs from a .44; No Les No More

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake; Stepped on the gas instead of the brake.

Here lies Oakford Grain
Saw a light at the end of the tunnel
It was a train

Here lies Seymore Butts
Buried face down

Here lies Walter Dudley
He found out too late,
Dobermans are not cuddly

Lizzy Bordon's father lies here
(add smaller stones around the main marker that say "and here")

Answer 3

Funny Rip Sayings

Answer 4

Here lies Johnny Yeast Pardon me For not rising.

Here lays Butch, We planted him raw.He was quick on the trigger, But slow on the draw.

Sir John Strange Here lies an honest lawyer, And that is Strange

Bill Wilson
R.I.P.
I told you i was sick!

Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York: Born 1903--Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was.

Here lies an Atheist All dressed up And no place to go.

HERE LIES
my wife,
I bid her goodbye.
She rests in peace
and now so do I.

Here lies

HENRY BLAKE
He stepped on the gas
Instead of the brake.

HERE LIES
the Pillsbury Dough Boy
He will rise again

Here lies Clyde
Whose life was full
Until he tried
To milk a bull

Answer 5

Google.com is your friend!

Some notables:

On Boothill, the famous cemetary of the old west, is my favorite.

Here lies Les Moore,
Killed by two shots,
From a 44,
No Les, No Moore

and, in another cemetary, in the North East, where folks are more sanguine, "I told you I was sick!"

Wish there were a way to contact you, especially about the google.com search of "Missing (and exploited)" such as those on the John Walsh TV program "Most Wanted" !

It might have something most poignant to hand out on Halloween! See if something like that is happening in NZ!

Answer 6

Her lies Lester Moore
Four shots from a .44
No Les
No Moore

Answer 7

I saw an actual picture of two tombstones side by side:

Keel and Over

Answer 8

Here are some real ones:
"I told you I was sick!"
"Owen Moore, gone away, owin' more than he could pay."
"Here lies Butch, We planted him raw, He was quick on the trigger, But slow on the draw."
"He called Bill Smith a liar."
"I would rather be here than in Texas."
"Gone underground for good."
"Going! Going! Gone!"
"I put my wife beneath this stone, for her repose and for my own."
Happy halloween!

Answer 9

Under this Sod lies another

Answer 10

Behold and see
all that pass by,
As you are now
so once was I;
As I am now
So you must be,
Prepare for death
And follow me.

W.C.Fields' reads:
"On the whole, I'd rather be in Philladelphia"