I have been with my bf jason since senior year in highschool and in highschool at senior prom he proposed marriage and we got engaged. Since then he tried college and dropped out the first semester and decided he wanted to be a pro surfer that did not last long. Then he thought since he loved cars he wanted to be a mechanic he dropped out of school for that too and then he wanted to try to be a cheif and he came home after a week later.I am in my second year of college now as a history major and buisness minor and have a part time job and feel we have nothing in common anymore.He still wants to get married but expects me to pay because he cant keep a job and still lives at home.I live in a dorm room now and he calls me all the time even while in class to check up on me i have never cheated but am starting to feel attracted to other guys?I get tiered try to put direction in his life but i gave my word i would marry him and feel guilty?
2006-10-24 10:45:17 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I thought he would change but he has not .I dont know how to tell him i want to call it off i now he loves me a lot.
2006-10-24 10:46:32 · update #1
I do still love just not in same way anymore.
2006-10-24 10:53:06 · update #2
Don't marry him if you don't like him anymore. If you feel attracted to other guys that means you don't like him anymore and you can't be suppoerting his him when he does nothing whatsoever.
2006-10-24 10:49:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may have given him your word and very probably meant it when you did. However, you have been with him a long time and have obviously grown up since then. However, he doesn't seem to have.
You didn't say how old you are now or how long you have been together but if your heart isn't in this anymore.....DONT DO IT! You will not be doing either one of you any favours, it won't last and do you want to possibly end up divorced with children?
Ending a relationship isn't pleasant but ending the relationship is what you will probably end up doing and it's unfair to marry someone you aren't really sure of. Be brave now and do what you think is best for you (and him) in the long term.
Hope it all works out whichever way you go.
Yvonne x
2006-10-24 10:53:13 · answer #2 · answered by yvonne H 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweety you are very lucky you see all these huge difference between the two you now before it will be too late.
People change and take different paths and sometimes the "love of your life" when you were 16 is not when you are 20 and 21 because needs and "wants" change.
Do not feel guilty.
Open your heart and mind to him and tell him exactly how you feel and move on.
Good luck.
2006-10-24 11:10:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You only get one chance at this, and if you're having second
thoughts now Emma, you most certainly have them walking down the isle. A husband should to provide, care for, and nurture
his wife. Those are the basics. If they are in doubt, then
it's a mistake. And mistakes are human. Put yourself first.
This is a time to be selfish. Don't box yourself in. You made your commitment but he is not fulfilling his as a potential spouse.
You could be risking a great deal of time being unhappy.
Your not going back on your word, if he does not have the
stability to get his life in order. It's your life too.
2006-10-24 12:26:00 · answer #4 · answered by rjm96 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People grow bu leaps and bounds between 18 & 25 and they continue to grow every day.
I recommend to tell him the truth. He is not ready to marry because he has nothing to offer. He needs to make something of himself like you are trying to do for yourself.
Date until you are about 25 then have a serious boyfriend. Aim to marry when you are 30. You will have a life and a career. When you marry its about sharing your lives with each other. Right now you don't have lives, you have potential.
Grow find yourself and let him find himself. BTW he needs a lot of growing to do in my opinion.
2006-10-24 10:59:04 · answer #5 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please, please, please, please do not marry him if it is out of guilt!! I did that with my first marriage and it's totally different once you sign the papers. I felt totally trapped. I promised myself at a young age that I would never get divorced once I was married so I felt even more trapped! But - I wasn't happy and started feeling like cheating to find happiness so we ended it after 6 months. I wish I could shout out to everyone in this situation, do not do it!! Try to split and see other people and see how that makes you feel. If you are happy again, then don't go back to him. If you are sad - then give it another shot. For sure though, don't get married until you know you want it!!!
2006-10-24 11:06:30 · answer #6 · answered by SRoy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him it's over. He has a lot of growing up to do and I think if you marry him, YOU will be the one bringing home the money, not him. Your a responsible person, he is not. I don't think you want to spend the rest of your life with someone like him. You just have to get the courage to tell him the dreaded two words, "it's over". You can't feel guilty. This is your life and I'm sure you want to be happy with whom you marry. You have years to think about marriage. (to someone else, of course)
2006-10-24 12:44:34 · answer #7 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't marry. I went to a wedding once where the bride called it off while everyone was sitting in the pews waiting on her to walk down the isle. Although it may have been embarrasing to end the wedding then, it was better than to have a life long comittment and end in divorce.
2006-10-24 11:00:46 · answer #8 · answered by Kelly T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your love for him is just about his well being. I understand why you fell out of love for him. I think you should break up with him and tell him that it has to be a 50/50 relationship. If you are out there busting your *** to make yourself better he should be doing the same. You deserve better. Move on. Don't feel guilty.
2006-10-24 11:20:00 · answer #9 · answered by fiestylady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to listen to the song"Better than me" by Hinder...Listen to the lyrics, they almost describe what your going through. Seriously think about this, if you marry him out of guilt, whats the point? Marriage is about love, and if you don't share the same love its unfair to both of you, but mostly him. Just pour your heart out to him, If he loves you for real, he will understand. But no one said it would be easy. Its kinda like saying its better to hurt now than later, when it will be harder to say what you need to tell him. Good luck on whatever you choose to do.
2006-10-24 11:28:19 · answer #10 · answered by helpmeout 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not married yet. It's okay to call it off. Things change and you don't want to find yourself married to this guy and resent him for his lack of a job and ambition. That is no way to live. Break it off and date other guys.
2006-10-24 10:49:38 · answer #11 · answered by jadedgirl149 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋