How do I win her back? Dont treat me like dirt when answering though I feel bad enough.?

Question

I cheated before and many times my girlfriend dated me again even after she shouldnt have. I have slept over her house twice since we broke up and hung out. (not together or sexually either) I have surprised her a LOT with HUGE white tiger, care package, and a sorry card. Everyone at her job was super, super jealous but that wasnt enough for her. Many times she said she couldnt trust me in a relationship but with everything else she could. We have been together for almost 3 years. Although I saw love in our future I didnt feel it before now. I feel I cant cheat on her, talk to someone else like I did her, or even date someone else because its been shut down in my system. How do we date again if she has said she wanted to but she cant trust me? She is currently giving me a chance to be "friends first" in her own words. But she is thinking about being with someone else. I want us to date but do I just wait for her to date him even though I feel this way? I know that would ruin us.

I have only cheated on her once, but trust has been the issue many times...

Answer 1

you are luckyshe still want to be just friends dont push it or you might not have her in your life ever again

Answer 2

Sadly when trust is broken - its hard to regain. It will take time (especially for women) when trust is broken in a relationship because of infidelity. I can speak with personal experience... i was cheated on and that boyfriend promised me he'd never do it again. I cannot say that he did again, but he never proved himself trust worthy either. My best advise for you would be to give her the space that she's requesting. You're already in a winning situation if she has agreed to keep a relationship with you even if its 'just friends' at first. She'll feel she's getting the respect that she deserves from you - that's the same respect that you didn't give when you cheated. That right there will help repair the damage done. She needs to feel that the relationship is now in her hands, she's the one in control, and can keep herself from getting hurt. Patience will go far in the long run. Just let it run its own course. Remmeber don't press anything - the relationship is in a fragile state and i'm sure her heart is too.

Answer 3

Read your first sentence. Do you think you should be treated like dirt? It doesn't matter what you buy her or say to her after what you have done. All the gifts in the world don't make up for that. You have hurt her in the worst possible way anyone can be hurt in a relationship.

If I were you I would back off and don't push her. Prove to her you mean what you say. Remember, actions speak louder than words". And in the past your words have been crap...........Treat her like a princess. If she does go out with someone else, you deserve it and take it like a man. Don't go off and act stupid or you will be very sorry. If you are cool about everything you might have a chance.

Answer 4

The best thing you can do is give her time. The more you push for a relationship is only going to shut her off to you. The fact that you've cheated on her and are now trying to buy her affection with material things is not enough. You need to show her emotionally and physically that you are really going to change. Material things in the end do not mean much. But give her time, be friends. If it is really meant to be, then it will happen. The saying of : If you love something let it go, if it comes back to you then it's yours - really is true.

Answer 5

You only started feeling this way as a result of losing her...and I think it's something you hadn't actually contemplated. It's a good lesson but it's not going to be easy for you. If you really want her back in your life then you need to earn her trust all over again. That takes time. But you need to realise it was all your own doing. So now you need to do whatever it takes in terms of regaining her trust. If that takes time then so be it. There are no guarantees but if you genuinely make the required effort then this will be noticed. But it will be a slow and gradual process. It's not something you can throw money at and there are no quick fixes. Any infidelity relapse will seal your fate forever.

Answer 6

i'm sorry but i where her i would never take you back it's not that i think your a bad person but there is no excuse for cheating NONE... you only miss what you don't have!
it hurts boy does it hurt i know it has to be killing you right now!
but you need to move on and look to a future and learn from your mistak!
I mean why should she trust you? you CHEATED man that is the worse!
try going to Coping.org to help out with your grifing issues!
but you do need to move on..
but if you do want to get back with her then do what she said bottom line! she wants to date someone else then let her! your not with her anymore so you have nothing to say to her or advise her or even demand her to do anything for you!
Boy i feel bad for you! But you'll get over it like we all do!
Keep your head up and your you know what in your pants!
DON'T EVER CHEAT AGAIN
Good luck
Mad luv

Answer 7

if you really wont to impress her show her the new you! if you love her there needs to be a real you coz the old you isnt good enough for her! this reason is cause youve cheated and every thin you said you wouldn't do you have! so start you love life again! be a good friend to her for now then work your way up, i know you want her and want her now but things could get worse for u both. one day at a time counts more than rushing, showing her trust means starting off as been a good good mate to her then i think things will move forward from there! good luck hunni

Answer 8

Being cheated on not only once but several times must be very difficult for your ex to accept and once trust you again. Its definitely going to be a difficult road for you and her. If you really love her and are ready to go through the hard times, it may work out. The best thing to do is to put yourself in her shoes, be patient and go only as fast as she goes. Cards and gifts are not enough but it is a good start. It is her right to want to date someone else, Its going to be hard for you to accept that but if you love her you will let her go and if she is meant to be with you she will return. You made a mistake, Hope you have learned from your mistake. Good luck.

Answer 9

Dude, you can't date her again. Once she caught you cheating on her did you really think everything could go back to the way it was? You should also think why you cheated on her. If you feel like it's ok to cheat, then she's not the right one for you. It sucks breaking up trust me I know but you've gotta move on. I would think twice about staying friends too, it might just make it harder on you.

Answer 10

You need to be ok with her dating someone else! If you love her as much as you say you do, than you would want her to be happy. You screwed up big time by cheating on her. Trust is huge in a relationship, and I have a lot of respect for her for standing her ground and not taking you back! You need to learn a lesson!

Ok, now that I have been hard on you......

I understand how you feel! Everyone makes mistakes. What is important is that you learn from them! If you love this girl, you have to talk to her honestly. It will be really hard, but you have to tell her that you understand how she feels and that you understand her reasons for not wanting to get back together with you. Tell her that you want her to be happy! No matter what that means, you want that for her more than anything. Let her know that you will be there for her as a friend and that you are willing to work hard to regain her trust. It may sound dorky, but I'm telling you, the truth! Us women need to feel understood and justified. By you trying and begging her to come back to you, it is almost as though you are not acknowledging your mistake. Acknowledge it, apologize for it, support her in her decision, loving her includes wanting her to be happy, and then show her she can trust you by being there for her NO MATTER WHAT! If she sees those things from you, and she ever loved you, she will come back to you! Be patient, trust takes time to rebuild, don't pressure her. I believe that you truly love her, now you need to make her believe it with your actions! Best of luck to you!

Answer 11

You're feeling the way you do now because you can't have her, and you're seeing what you gave up and screwed up. Sucks doesn't it? All you can do is respect her wishes and be the best friend you can be to her, and continue to work hard to show you've changed, if you truly believe you have. I wouldn't pressure her, it won't do any good. The best thing you can do is exactly what she wants. If it is meant to be and she wants to be with you, she'll give you another chance eventually. All you can do is hope for the best. If she is still keeping you around, she might just be healing from what you have done and is waiting until she is ready to give you another chance.