My mother loves my husband like a son and for the past 3 years we have spent christmas with her and grandma.My husband likes her but this year he really doesn't want to go. Its only for a few hours and my sister and her husband go to liverpool over christmas and therefore there is only us to be with mum and grandma so they are not alone. Its only a few hours out of the day and we do not have any other plans for the day so we would just be 10 miles away together and they will be alone. Should I ignore the complaints and have us go, which I can do, or listen to the fact that he doesn't want to go and try and find a way to get him out of it. Its really sad actually cause my mother really loves him. Surely it wouldnt kill him for a few hours or am I being unreasonable? Any and all advice welcome thanks
2006-10-24 10:04:02 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
when i say "let" i use it in a light hearted manner perhaps i should say encourage him to go - ultimately the decision is my husbands if he doesn't want to go he wont but he would be more comfortable if i was ok with that. Therefore I use the word "let" should I help to be comefortable with his decision and not spend christmas with my family even though he does not have other plans for us will have already spent the morning and afternoon alone with us and it would make two lonely women happy.
2006-10-24 10:31:29 · update #1
NB
No man is a slave especially not mine!
2006-10-24 10:34:19 · update #2
Yes, you're being unreasonable. He went the last 3 years and now would like to stay home-- I think that's fair. If by chance he changes his mind on Christmas day, you be be over there in a few minutes. Otherwise, there's always boxing day. Maybe this year your sister and her husband can go over there for a change.
Maybe you can invite mum and granny to your place?
2006-10-24 10:10:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound like he has any reasonable excuse not to go. I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. He married you, and as a part of that, he made the comittment to your family, as you did to his. If him and your mother fought or were hostile, I would think differently, but since they have a good relationship, he should be there.
If he does want to do something special, offer to do it with him the night before or maybe for New Year's. Ask him what he'd like to do. Sitting at home alone on Christmas is just silly.
You should also talk to your sister. It is very selfish that she leaves your mother alone every Christmas like that. I know everyone has their own traditions within a family, but her and her husband should take some time for her as well.
2006-10-24 10:09:16 · answer #2 · answered by Sativa 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is a very common thing for ex spouses to do at christmas and other occasions and if you are that insecure you should probably move on. Her children should come first and you just need to suck it up. It is horrible for children to be shuffled around at Christmas and this eliminates that. If anything, you should be proud that she is a strong enough woman to put her differences with her ex-husband aside for one morning in order to do the best she can by her children. Perhaps you should learn to be as big a person.
2016-03-28 06:25:39 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I kind of think it's a little selfish. However, if his reasoning is good enough then I suppose you can let him stay home. Just tell your mother that he loves her too and that he just requested some private time to be alone and do his "guy" thing, whatever that is. Sometimes when you give someone (your husband) what they want, they don't want it anymore. He may just end up deciding to go. You never know!
2006-10-24 10:08:37 · answer #4 · answered by Dr. Kat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could your mom possibly come to your home? If not, your mom is getting older and your husband needs to try and understand just how much he would be taking away from her by not going on Christmas. That's what Christmas is all about, is giving, and being with family. Someday, your mom won't be there to go visit.
2006-10-24 10:11:36 · answer #5 · answered by sue d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, so is there any reason why you can not have them at your house? if they don't drive, i understand. so, you are right, i would not want them sitting home alone on Christmas morning. that would be offal.and may i suggest talking to your sister, and tell her that it would be nice if she could also spend Christmas with them. take turns. although its a little late for it this year there is always next. tell you hubby to get over it your going!
2006-10-24 10:11:07 · answer #6 · answered by here to help 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really mean "LET HIM"? It sounds like to me he is genuinely telling you that he does not want to go. I would not make this into trying to force him to go. I would assume acting that way, trying to make him do something, that he has already communicated with about, would make the holidays miserable. He may end up going but only with a chip on his shoulders that you do not respect what he wants to do from time to time. Just my thoughts, good luck though
2006-10-24 10:10:51 · answer #7 · answered by PURE 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
y dont u have christmas at ur house this year and invite them over for christmas dinner at urs then that way ur husband won't need to go over there
have a nice christmas anyway
take care
2006-10-24 10:08:24 · answer #8 · answered by Katie P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
make him go. he has to learn that he is part of the family and he is not an out sider. I think you are the bridge between him and your mom. If you are not there, he doesn't care right? So, since you are there, he has to go. Tell him to wake up and be a man.
2006-10-24 10:08:36 · answer #9 · answered by ken401lam 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he your husband or your slave? If husband, the best way to lose him is to treat him like a slave. He has a mind and opinion all his own. Respect that. Respect him.
2006-10-24 10:21:20 · answer #10 · answered by shine_radiantstar 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋