I am nineteen and just married my husband six months ago. When we first started dating he was exactly the kind of guy I'd always wanted which was what made me fall in love with him. Before getting married we had our fights but never like the fights I've had with him recently.. he gets angry at little things. If I tell him I want him to spend more time with me and less time doing things like playing around on the computer he gets mad and says I am trying to control him. He has told me that he can't stand me and that he hates me. Sometimes when we fight he won't allow me to leave the house if I want to and takes the keys to our car and says that it is his car and I can't use it. He will turn off the internet so I can't use it and take my cell phone (we don't use a house line). Sometimes he tells me he just wants me to leave and go to my parents house because I annoy him so much. Then he will eventually tell me he's sorry and say he will never do it again. what the heck is going on here?
2006-10-24 09:52:52 · 18 answers · asked by shenab99 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
wow...he shouldnt take away ur cell phone or let you leave the house... he might be like jealous and over-protective or hes thinking about something.. but he SHOULD NNOT tell you ur annoying and he hates you - thats not right hun! try talking to him and asking him whats going on and if hes ok! good luck*
2006-10-24 09:56:01 · answer #1 · answered by bry09 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a form of abuse. Mental abuse. He is trying to break you down so that he can control you. If I were you I would seek out help. couples help. He needs to see his behavior is not right. If he doesnt then he is likely too keep it going and take it futher. It is against the law for him to prevent you from leaving the house. Thats called kidnapping!!! He says he's sorry and won't do it again but as you see he has. He is only lying to get you to stay. Its a sick game and I know how it will play out. If you are willing to stay with this man be prepared to have to leave in a hurry. I suggest you start stashing money and emergancy numbers. Keep a ready packed bag at your parents house. Maybe you might wanna invest in a house phone. make extra sets of keys and everything. Don't take anything he does lightly...he sounds like he is going to be an abuser!!!but if not at least you will be prepared for everything!!! GOOD LUCK
2006-10-24 17:24:46 · answer #2 · answered by tweedy778 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my God...you are living one of my past lives. I lived with a guy like that, extremely moody, never wants to do anything except stay home on the computer, wouldn't let me even goto 7-11 for a slurpee (the 7-11 was right across the street), when I stood up to him phone/internet/TV whatever was disconnected. Couldn't even take a magazine into the washroom cuz I might be hiding something in it.
And God forbid I stand up for myself...then it got ugly. Enough said. It all starts innocent enough but then as the controlling gets to be more & more...things just escalated.
So I lived like that for 8 years, why...my self-esteem & confidence was crushed like a bug and I learnt to walk on eggshells 24/7. It was horrible.
So what did I do? Woke up 1 day in the hospital, looked out the window, watched the rain falling and came to my senses about my situation. I called my Mom...told her everything I hadn't told her in 8 years and left the jerk behind. Of course he came "stalking" but I learnt I had family & friends supporting me & I was able to stand up to him once & for all. It was scary but I had to do it.
Life is WAY to short to be unhappy...don't waste it.
2006-10-24 17:41:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've found out what the guy is really like and, unfortunately, a situation like yours is what usually happens when you marry too soon and too young. Everyone's on their best behaviour in the early throes of a relationship. Had you not married him so soon you would have found that you wouldn't have wanted to marry him at all. He sounds like a controlling, insensitive jerk to me and I'd run out of there just as fast as I can. He's bad news, honey. You're learning a lesson the hard way.
2006-10-24 17:09:33 · answer #4 · answered by Judith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be careful! It sounds to me like you need to get the hell outta there! Your not a child he has no reason to be "grounding" you from your cell phone, and the car. I got married at 18 and i've been married since June 17th and my husband acts nothing like that. He's just gettin bored because he's not used to living with you. You can either try to talk to him about the stuff thats been going on or get out of there. It sound like he treats you like crap now. Men change after they get married some for the best and some for the worst. He obviously was for the worst. See if you can get outta him whats been bothering him, its not your fault hunny! Just be careful, it sounds to me like he might get abusive. So be careful!
~Good Luck~
2006-10-24 17:07:33 · answer #5 · answered by armesia_combs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to say, but is sounds like he was too immature for marriage. Marriage takes a lot of sacrifice. He probably thought things would remain the same as you were single when Marriage came around. Now, he realizes that he was wrong. I am not sure what you can do, but it sounds like he is very self-centered. Next time he tells you to go to your mothers, you should go. This would be a very good way to test him.
2006-10-24 16:58:11 · answer #6 · answered by Bill 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now that you are married he probably feels trapped. He doesn't want the responsibility or partnership of marriage. If he is that controlling, I think I would leave and get out of this mess, before the situation gets real bad. It will probably just get worse. He wants power and control.
2006-10-24 18:02:17 · answer #7 · answered by doglady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please trust me when I say that you need to get away from him sooner than later. I know you want to believe him when he says he's sorry, but he is placating you and keeping you on the hook. Some guys really get off by pushing women around. He hid his true colors until after you were good and deep. Don't get any deeper - it could eventually cost you your life.
2006-10-24 17:06:22 · answer #8 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like his problem solving skills really suck. This is going to be a tough road for you. See a counsellor. If he won't, separate from him. And force him to make a choice. If he won't get help, then the marriage wasn't that important to him.
2006-10-24 17:13:30 · answer #9 · answered by Big Marc 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Control freak with jealousy and abandonment issues.The marraige is so new,but the colors he showed you were only the means to get you there.Tell him counseling or seperation,and be firm before it escalates!Good Luck!
2006-10-24 17:00:03 · answer #10 · answered by maykithapin 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋