He is in his mid 20's and has girlfriends that are in their mid to late teens. I feel it is not a good life style for her to be subjected to. Am I being selfish for not wanting her to be around these "young Girls"??? I've had a steady relationship for the past 2 1/2 yrs. He says that I should'nt have her around my fiance if he can't have her aroung his "GIRLfriends". Whose wrong? Me, him, or both? Thanks for ur time.
2006-10-24 09:43:55 · 16 answers · asked by Tweety D 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
First of all... this is why children should not have children. You are both wrong.
Were you both married to each other? sounds like not. That is your first mistake.
Second, you living with your new boyfriend/fiance? If so, that is your second mistake.
Third, yes you should put your foot down if he is bringing any other INFLUENCE into your childs life. You should have thought about this before you had sex with him.
This is why.... THIS is why children should NOT have children.
You are both wrong......... and its the kid that will pay the price.
Choose the right-
2006-10-24 10:58:49 · answer #1 · answered by SunValleyLife 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn't necessarily say that he is wrong or you are wrong. I do however, think that it would be better for the child not to be subjected to that because she would begin to think that that's okay- that his behavior is normal and she shouldn't expect anything else from her boyfriends.
It's the same thing with a child that is raised in an abusive home. If they aren't taught otherwise, they will think that that behavior is okay. I believe that you both should come to some sort of agreement.
He needs to realize that there are big differences between your fiance and his multiple girlfriends. Also, if they are underage, I would seriously consider whether or not to report him to authorities. It's your decision of course but if he's breaking the law, he should be called on it.
2006-10-24 09:59:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1 steady fiance or 20 different girls...hmmm let me think! He is wrong and you have every right to keep your child away from the young girls, not to mention, he could go to jail depending on their ages and you wouldn't want your child there if that were to happen. But, if you have visitation papers wrote up, there isn't much you can do on his time, except for taking it back to court, which would be expensive and you probably wouldn't get anywhere. Try to talk to him, explain the differences between your relationship and his, and if he cares about his child, he should stop parading his girlfriends around the baby.
2006-10-24 09:49:06 · answer #3 · answered by ltlchk_2 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He doesn't sound like a good role model at all. He sounds immature and irresponsible. So it's probably a good thing for your child to not be around him so much. You have a steady relationship so as long as your other treat your daughter right then it's better for her to spend more time with you.
2006-10-24 09:46:59 · answer #4 · answered by Jason D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say that you should have say on who your daughter is around. You also have your daughter around your finance. so I can kind of see his point but his lifestyle isn't healthy at all. I can see why you would have a problem with all these different girls b/c he doesn't keep one for long and that will probably confuse her. but if you can have her around your boyfriend he thinks he should be able to as well. but then again your is over 18 and you have proven to have a more stable relationship but i don't know if legally you can keep your daughter away from his girlfriends.but i would tell him that you don't approve. talk to him about it.
2006-10-24 09:52:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not wrong. I know that's a hard situation, but I belevie he should have more respect for you than that. He shouldn't introduce your baby to different girls who aren't a constant in his life. Let him know you don't want your baby around other females until he's really serious about one. How would he feel if you had your baby around a different dude every week?
2006-10-24 09:48:29 · answer #6 · answered by BabyGirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if he is just having casual flings then your daughter should not be introduced to these girls as it will be too confusing for her, if he was in a serious relationship with her then it owuld be a different matter. my boyfriend has two children and i didn't meet them until we had been together for six months and in a serious relationship, this was not a problem for me or my partner as we felt it was right to get settled together before we involved his children. we have now been together for 5 years and i am very close to his children, if your ex cares about your daughters wellbeing then he would feel this way also!!
2006-10-24 09:53:21 · answer #7 · answered by sepulchra666 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are right to want to keep your child from being exposed to all those other people. But unless you get married, and go through the legal system regarding his visitation, you're kind of stuck.
2006-10-24 09:46:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
THIS IS A VERY TOUCHY SUBJECT, AND I DO HAVE TO AGREE WITH YOU, BUT YOUR CHILD WILL LEARN WHO HER DAD REALLY IS IN LIFE, IF THOSE GIRLS ARE NOT POSING ANY HARM TO YOUR CHILD, THEN IT IS HARD TO SAY YOU DONT WANT THEM AROUND HER, YOU CANNOT CONTROL HIS LIFE, IF YOU REALLY FEEL IT IS THAT BIG OF A CONCERN, PERHAPS YOU SHOULD GET PROTECTIVE SERVICES TO DO AN IVESTIGATION ON HIM, IF THEY FIND HIM NEGLEGENT, OR UNFIT, THEN THEY WILL REVOKE ANY RIGHTS TO YOUR CHILD. BUT THINK BECAUSE THIS WILL EFFECT YOUR CHILD TOO. ALL YOU CAN DO IS YOUR BEST FOR YOUR CHILD THEY WILL WATCH AND FIGURE OUT WHAT IS WHAT AND WHO IS WHO.
2006-10-24 09:49:28 · answer #9 · answered by nmaponte 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no- you are doing the right thing. he shouldn't be bringing people in and out of your childs life like that.
2006-10-24 09:48:11 · answer #10 · answered by katie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋