What do u do when u totally hate and despise urself?

Question

It really hurts a lot.But, i can't stand myself! i do the stupidest things and i say the stupidest things.I always regret them and i constantly torture myself by remembering those painful memories. How do i stop hating myself? First, how do i stop doing the stupid things that i do?

I'm generally NOT a nasty or mean person.My problem is the other way around. When i say that i do stupid things, i guess i am trying to say that instead of standing up for myself when ppl attack me, i flounder, and also the usual bump into things i shudnt be bumping into, Letting guys determine my self worth.(If they think im beautiful, i go over the moon, some guy says im not, i sit and cry)I think im a very insecure person, and i depend a lot on other ppls approval to feel better abt myself.
What i do want to do is stop this kind of self-destructive behaviour.

Voltar, i think u need to see a shrink.Only a person with serious self esteem issues could possibly be so vicious to some one whos feeling low.

Answer 1

you are beautiful and intelligent. We all make mistakes, they are lessons. I think back on the mistakes i made and how miserable they made me, but I also think about the lessons i learned from each one. I am in a better spot now becaue of those mistakes that I HAD to make. Its ok to make mistakes. We love you.

Answer 2

Dearest:
there is not a day that goes by when I or people in general do things that are really just plain stupid. I have a ledger book of stupid things where common sense should have prevailed.
I think it is what the negative things we say to ourselves after the stupid act that detrimentally affects us. That my friend is part of growing up. Reads as if you are a young person struggling with this. whatever you do don't be critical about yourself it does nothing for the self esteem and it eventually will permanently become a part of you which will effect your future,Rather audibly say and enforce positive and flattering remarks to yourself. The important thing is that you recognize it. So what do you do? Do put thought into every task, taking it step by successful step. Do not jump into conversations, listen first and again think through what if any remark you make. Stop hating yourself. Forgive and forget. You have an important role and contributions to make in this lifetime, So don't start it out with a self imposed handicap. Life really is too short, live and live well. Best wishes. B.

Answer 3

You don't mention any stupid things you do or say. Maybe they really are not, you just think they are ?! Everyone says stupid things but it doesn't mean they hate themselfs. For some reason you are being extremely harsh on yourself.

I looked at your Q. & A. page. Your description of yourself was good and you didn't seem to hate yourself.

You want to drop some pounds. You are having a problem with perhaps competing with your mother. You need some attention from your father.

My advice is simple. You are 22 years old. You are a responsible adult. If you have problems, face them head on and solve them.
Sit down with your mom and dad and talk to them. Don't hold back. Tell them what is bothering you and why. They have no idea, so they can't help if they are not aware.
Go to your doctor and get on a sensible diet and start walking every day.

I cannot imagine anything so awful that you would say you constantly torture yourself with those painful memories. If you are honest and you do things that horrific, you do need help.

Start with your parents and the diet.

Answer 4

Don't feel that you're alone here! We all do and say stupid things, and yes, we all replay them at the weirdest times it our heads. The thing to do - think about when and where this happens the most. Why does it happen? Are you nervous? Is there another reason? (This is really important). Then make a plan: what are appropriate/ inappropriate things to say and do? Even write them down. This may sound silly, but it may help. Also, just take the time to stand back and watch other people - you can learn a lot from this. But remember - just relax - stressing about it will make it all seem worse. I'm sure you're a great person. Good luck.

Answer 5

I've gone through the same thing before. It seems some people are more prone to this type of thinking than others. The first step isn't stopping the stupid actions, it's realizing that everyone makes stupid decisions on occassion. My unprofessional opinion is to get a plan of somesort for your life, and make decisions according to that plan. Sometimes you will mess up, but whe that happens you can realize what you've done and see what you have to get back to where you need to be. Also, if the hatred gets worse, think of trying to get some sort of professional counselling.

Answer 6

We all say and do stupid things, girlie. Allow me to welcome you to the human race. It depends exactly what you're doing - if you're being nasty to people or if you're unfaithful, for example, then fair enough, you should hate yourself and I'll probably join you! However, if you mean that you spill your glass on the table regularly, or you think that London is the capital of Australia, well, nobody's perfect and we all have our quirks. Some of my friends could easily be described as odd or eccentric - even stupid, at times - but I like them because they're different and because I'm not seeking perfection as I'll never find it. I've got a bad feeling, however, that the reason you're feeling this way is that other people are putting the idea in your head that you're doing and saying stupid things and belittling you. You're certainly journeying on a major guilt trip, but I don't know why. Are you evil? Have you got 666 tattooed on your scalp?! I'd be interested to know what the stupid things you say and do are. Anyway, you need to establish whether this dissatisfaction with yourself is legitimate. If you want to email me please feel free to do so as I really don't think you deserve to be putting yourself through this. Either way take care and at least turn to someone who you can talk to and who can at least give you another perspective. Take care.

Answer 7

Unfortunately, there is no perfect human being. Stop hating yourself for the stupid things you do!!! It's part of human nature to be stupid once in a while. It's not the end of the world. I usually distract myself with something else that i enjoy and everything else just evaporates.

Answer 8

Begin by not saying stuff or doing stupid stuff ahead of time. I always do something I know I will end up regretting so instead of that I take the time to think before I do anything what will the consequences be like? Thats the key THINK

Answer 9

first of all, why do you think everything is stupid? take an introspective look at yourself, your attitude, and what u think vs what you say: for example,

do you feel "stupid"? do u regret saying embarrasing things? perhaps u need to start brushing up on the news, learning more, reading more, so that u can kick start ur brain into developing deeper thoughts; at least be knowledgable in something in order to say interesting things and keep intelligent conversation going w/ people

do you feel as if you are "mean"? perhaps you are so negative about yourself, it is hard for you to say anything pleasant or positive to others... u need to work on your Attitude and Outlook on life before you can "stop" saying things you regret...

furthermore, who tells you what u do is stupid? =T perhaps u are letting what others think about you take more control than what YOU think about you.

take a deep breath, and remember... you have the power to change your Future. you Always can do something differently tomrorow...whether it is dressing different, looking different, acting different..... sooo many things u can Experiment with! if u don't like it, change it again! don't stop looking and searching until u find what is Postive, Happy, and Healthy for you and ur life.

if i were u, i'd take things slow, but work on Myself first:

Appearance- work out, exercise.. get some stress out.. get ur body in shape. try on flattering clothes, makeup, hairstyles. FEEL BETTER about how u look...that helps with the next step...

Mind - study, read, learn more, get involved w/ activities, find hobbies...this will help with next step....

Relationships - start w/ Family....try to have better relationships w/ people.... talk more, discuss more, be "nicer", ask questions, get involved... then w/ Friends...and eventually this will help you when meeting New People, Teachers, strangers, etc...and because u are working on your Looks and Mind, you will have more things to talk about, and less things to feel awkward about.

good luck!! it all starts from yourself... Don't Hate yourself now... try to change all u can FIRST!! i say, if you do all u can to Exhaust all your means, and u tried your BESTTTTT!!!! then and only then do u have a 'right' to hate yourself... but if u haven't used all ur means and tried ur hardest to succeed, u can hardly say u hate ureself.....!!! unless u hate urself for not trying to change, which is not going to help anyways =T... good luck to you, and don't worry.. tomorrow is another day :)

***ps..if u have time, please look at Romans 5-8.. it really changed my outlook on life :). it pretty much says that thru Jesus' sacrifice u are Justified --> NOT GUILTY. of all past, present, and future sins. no matter WHAT. so now u are free to pick urself up, dust urself off, and Start Over again!!! don't punish urself from mistakes, just learn from them! even if u are not religious, u can apply the Positive message it brings~ good luck

Answer 10

first of all others learn to treat you by the way you treat yourself our brains are very elaborate biochemical computers to you need to completely down allot all your negatives and upload positive messages now now now it Will take a few days before it feels natural as far as saying stupid things have you not heard our president speak he was voted for twice , so saying stupid things just goes along w being human .to me the most unintelligent thing would be to say some thing to your self that was not positive. stop being your own worst enemy and realize God made only one of you and you are here for a reason and its not to me mean and loath your self i hope when you wake up tomorrow you feel different and know who u are bless u