Does anyone use spanking methods to dicipline their teenage sons?

Question

My teenage brother whom I have been raising since he was 5 (due to the death of our parents) is now 16. He is totally unruly, disrespectful, and disobidient. He is failing in school, and disregards ANYTHING anyone tells him to do. Recently, I pulled his pants and boxers down, and used my belt on his backside. What a change in his total conception of behavior and respect.
My question is, does any other father or guardian use corporal punishment with their teenage sons or wards?
Please reply to me at [e-mail] Thank you.

Answer 1

I have a 16 yr old son. he at time is disrespectful. I have always giving my children respect and i expect the same in return..I would never spank my child for any reason. especially a teenager.. he must have some kind of respect for you. he didn't hit you back. that's what some teens would do. I'm sure his attitude did change. you scared the s- it out of him. there must be something that hes not dealing with. maybe the loss of your parents. Try talking with him. ask him whats bothering him. maybe he need to talk with a counselor. this age is such a hard age to deal with. I'm sorry your going through such a hard time with him.. Your a good brother for raising him. I'm sure deep down inside he knows this. But, he probably resents you for it too..someday you'll be rewarded for all you've done for him. and he will one day thank you.. but until that day comes, hold on. please don't hit him again. try talking to him next time. Ground him.. i do to my son. he has a girlfriend, and taking her away for a week is worse than taking a phone away from a teenage girl. Also set some guide rules, put your foot down,tell him this is the way its going to be. but in the same breath let him know you love him too. Good Luck and God Bless

Answer 2

Sorry to hear about your parents.

I hope that that is the only time you'll have to do that. I think that spanking at that age is inappropriate.

Perhaps he needs an outlet for anger, and doesn't know how. Maybe get him involved in some physical activity, such as a sport.

Try talking with him about it, and be sure to say that you don't want to do that again. Then explain that you two have to communicate, and that you want to know why he was doing whatever it was that drove you to that decision.

I agree with some of the others about restricting his freedom: taking away his cell phone, if any; restricting contact with friends; regulating where he goes, etc.

Also, try putting him to work. Aid him in finding a part time job. That may help him build some confidence in himself so he won't act out.

Best of luck to you.

Answer 3

NO! Adolescents are EXTREMELY impressionable and look up to their peers for guidence, love and support. If you slap him, several things will happen: a) he will lose respect for you, b) he will think that violence is okay and will be violent towards other people in future and c) you could get into trouble for abuse. Parents aren't even meant to spank their 3 year olds when they run out in front of a car - slapping a teenager can be classified under abuse.

Please never, ever slap your brother again. I agree that your situation is quite a complicated one, but this slapping him as a punishment is never going to work. If he's really got that bad, you should talk to the school and see what they suggest, ground him and punish him in other ways but never corporally.

Try using positive reinforcement with him - at 16, your brother is nearly mature and you should have a much closer relationship with him than you do now. Talk to him not as a guardian but as a friend, and try to sort things out. Find out what he wants from life, where he wants to go, where he can see himself in 10 years time, and explain to him that disobedience now will cause trouble in later life if he doesn't get the results he needs. From what you say, it sounds like he used to be respectful and obedient, so ask yourself why this has changed so suddenly. Maybe he's being bullied, or broke up with a girlfriend, or is trying to impress his friends.

I really hope that you have more luck with him soon! My thoughts are with you.

Answer 4

Hands down, take the Landmark Forum. The cost is about $580 (in Canada), and you or one parent is required to take it also. There is a teen forum which is real similar to the "regular" forum which I believe he will be required to take. I think the teen forum supplies food and has shorter days but you are looking at 3 full days (fri-sun 9-9) and an evening (tues 8-10) of the most freeing conversation and being with other people in the same situation as you. Highly recommend you take a look.

Answer 5

He is a little old for that but yes if you feel it is appropiate and its had good results then do that but also he needs to know why he is getting a whoopin and you need to get to the bottom of why he is acting up you need his respect and he needs your so try a man to man type talk to him but to me he sounds angry he lose his parents at a young age so maybe you need to be his big brother and talk with him because there is always a reason behind something it could be his peers that he is around maybe you need to stop him from hanging out with him you do what you have to do to help your brother

Answer 6

I think he's acting that way because your not his parents. Let him know that the loss of your parents isn't only affecting him, it affects you too. Let him know how hard it is on yourself, raising a child by yourself since they were 5. Tell him he needs to respect you, you have been there all these years for him, caring for him, when you honestly could have just givin him off to someone else, say a foster parent, aunt or uncle. He should be GLAD to have you taking care of him instead of some stranger.

Answer 7

It don't matter how old you brother is.You are raising a taking care of him,he cant respect you then h*ll ya woop that a**.He will thank you for it when he has kids of his own.Thats where some people go wrong spanking your child isn't wrong its old fashion discipline.The beat spankings i got when i was a child help me to this day raising my children.You got to show who is boss........Good luck to ya!

Answer 8

Thats why the good lord put so much padding there, so we could
disipline with out causing damage only pain and humility. You gave him just what he needed a attitude adjustment.

Answer 9

U can't spank any one and less a 16 years old, u should b ashamed of ur self, that kid lost his parents and u r making things more tuff 4 him...

I know it might b hard, but dude, try 2 b, nicer, anyway... u guys should go to a consouler togheter, I think it can help.

Good luck!

Answer 10

I think that the best thing you can do is talk to him show him the right things and the consequences that can cause by doing the wrong things.

the only thing teenagers need is love, companion, comprehension, and understandig. take care and good luck with your brother.