What to do about the animal situation? part 2?

Question

and we had this whole situation with bathing the dog, so i had to wash the dog once a week with oatmeal shampoo so that I could deal with the smell, and I also cleaned up and feed and walked the dog a lot . I was very scared of the dog when we first got him, but then after some time I was ok with the dog. He is a stafforshire bull terrier, so he is a bull dog, but compact.So then one day I got mad at the dog because he was chasing my cat , I got up and told him "no!", which i have done many times before with no problem, but this time the dog growled at me. It freaked me out. I told my boyfriend and he just laughed it off. Then again the next day he was chasing my cat, and I told him "NO!", and he growled at me again and showed his teeth. It freaked me out so bad. I was shaken. I told my boyfriend that I know he loves his dog but that I just don't feel safe with him.But he got mad at me and said that if he has to get rid of his dog,I have to get rid of my cats. Is this fair?

it's just very hard, and I would never and I have never asked him to get rid of the dog until I got scared, because now I wont go near the dog unless my boyfriend is home, so the dog sits in the crate for 12 hours a day. So 1- I feel scared of the dog and 2- the dog isnt happy in the crate that long ... I want my boyfriend to have a dog and suggested we get a puppy and rehome his dog, but he said "NO, and you have to get rid of your cats too then, because it is not fair".... but I feel like he is being unfair because he is only thinking of himself and not the whole situation. If the dog would have never growled at me, I would have never ever asked him to rehome him. I want my boyfriend to have what he wants. But because of his breed i am uncertain, and I have never had a dog growl at me ever . Should I get rid of my cats too ? I just don't think I can do it, I love my kitties, and I feel like they were here before my boyfriend's dog.

Answer 1

Try talking to an behaviorlist. Go to this website you might find some good info. All dogs can be rehabilitated.

www.dogpsychologycenter.com

Answer 2

No, this is not fair.

It's a control issue. You don't just need to look at the dog situation, you need to look at the whole relationship. Your concerns about the dog are based on its behavior (threatening you, urinating in the apartment, etc.) and you having to take care of it (washing, feeding, walking, cleaning up after). That's perfectly reasonable. Your boyfriend, on the other hand, is saying that if he can't have something he wants (his dog) then you have to give up something you want (your cats) -- even though there is no problem involving the cats. That is a juvenile attitude, to say the least, and that type of controlling behavior can be a warning sign of a potential abuser. The fact that his dog threatened you and your boyfriend "laughed it off" is another bad sign. If you love someone you naturally want to protect them, not scoff at a threat to them.

Mind you, I'm not a professional. I'm just a random person in the Internet, the functional equivalent of some co-worker or friend. Take my advice with a grain of salt. But for what it's worth, my advice is for the two of you to see a good family counselor, because if things like you've described here aren't sorted out, you could find yourself in a very bad situation.

As for the dog itself: the Staffordshire Bull Terrier is one of the breeds commonly known as "pit bulls". Contrary to popular belief, they aren't all born psycho killers. However, badly bred, badly raised, or badly trained ones CAN get out of control, and the fact that this dog has threatened you twice shows that is exactly what is happening here. You mentioned that you have had to bathe, feed, and walk the dog -- those are not things that a responsible dog owner (and no other kind should have one of that group of dogs) unloads on anyone else. They aren't a dog for everyone, and from your description of the situation, this dog has not been raised or trained properly.

In short, that dog is not safe for you to be around, and its owner may not be either.

Answer 3

You're really caught between the devil and the deep blue sea here aren't you - you have my sympathy. I think your boyfriend is being a bit unreasonable, but then he loves his dog so I can sympathise with him a little. But you absolutely shouldn't have to get rid of your cats, and I'm sure with some compromise you can find a solution to suit you both.

I would suggest that you find someone who specialises in dog behaviour (there are plenty around), if you know other people with dogs ask for them to recommend someone. The dog has been through a lot of changes in the past few months so is probably reacting to the stress and uncertainty this has caused for him, plus the main person in his life has replaced him with you so the dog will be jealous and unsure of his place in his 'pack'. A good dog behaviourist should be able to help, but remember that there will be a lot of 'homework' for the two of you to do with the dog as far as training goes.

Good luck, and remember the dog can now sense that you are scared of him so you are going to need to be very firm and not show him any fear.

Answer 4

First of all you are giving the dog the exact reaction he is looking for. He growls you back down. Second it should be your boyfriend who takes care of the dog, not just you. Third you need to get rid of the dog and boyfriend. Sounds like to me he never really cared for you at all except as a doggy keeper. I am not trying to be mean or hateful , just far from it. You had your cats their first, it's your apartment, and it's your space. So no, you don't have to get rid of the cats. And if you feel you are not safe with his dog tell him to find another place to board the dog or you can do it for him. Sorry if I upset you but this is just my opinion , not fact. Best of wishes and good luck.

Answer 5

No it is not fair. But neither is it fair for you to demand that he get rid of the dog. You just need to grow less afraid of the dog and accept it within your household. Clearly the dog sees that he can push you around and you are letting him.

My suggestion is that you should take the dog to obedience class. Obedience class is not to teach the dog anything, but rather to teach you. You need to know what you are doing that gives the dog the idea that it outranks you in the pack hierarchy. Just like a kid, if they think they can rule the house, they will. That is unacceptable behavior. You might find that the dog is not so very bad once it starts to respect and love you.

Remember that you and this guy are in the courting phase. Until you commit and marry him, you have no right to tell him how to live his life, just as he has no right to tell you.

I can tell you without having met him at all, that he loves that dog as much as you love your smelly, obnoxious unloving cats. (OK they are smelly and obnoxious to me, 'cause I don't like cats.) You need to let him have his pet too, or give the guy up. Love him, love his dog. Frankly I would not have anything to do with someone who thought my dog was stupid, smelly and harbored such resentment towards him. But that's me. Ive stopped visiting my parents do much because they want me to board my five dogs when I stay there. That is unacceptable to me.

And quit bathing the dog so much you're being overly sensititve about the smell because you want him to get rid of the dog.

Answer 6

fist of all you have a pitbull not a bulldog. However they are all bully breeds. If the dog has not been raised w/ cats this can be a problem. I have a bulldog and a pitbull currently the pit has no problem w/ the cats and is young. the older one likes to chase them and speak to them The cats now live in the basement were they feel safe. You might try seperating the. As far as him growling @ you this could be a dominance issue. You should try an obidience class w/ him so that he knows you are dominant.

Answer 7

looking animals and ingesting animals are diverse arguments. Killing an animal to consume it, is human nature. looking one for "game" isn't. I even have on no account understood the entertainment that comes from looking. i think some people are purely greater primitive then others, and could vent out their animal aggressions... I notwithstanding do consume meat. the only animal I even tend to sense undesirable approximately ingesting (the place i might accomplish that) may be pigs. i've got heard of study that have pronounced pigs are as clever as dogs or cats, particularly circumstances greater so, yet i'm undecided notwithstanding if it quite is real or fake... i might relish any information in this. i might quite no longer be ingesting some thing seen clever... Cows, Sheep or Chickens on the different hand are low intelligence animals. If we did no longer shield them as a meals resource, they might have long previous extinct.

Answer 8

ok, this takes some guts if the dog is big, but when you tell the dog no, flip it over on it's back (not roughly! but quickly...), straddle it, grab it's snout, look it in the eyes and say NO! then get up and act like nothing happened. this way, you'll be relating to the dog, as the alpha bi*ch would, and the dog always listens to alpha. this really works, my jack russel used to growl at my kids, and ever since i did this twice, i haven't heard anything aggressive out of her. just remember, the point isn't to hurt the dog, just to show it you are superior.

Answer 9

How does he think that is fair? His dog is the one making you afraid to be in your own home, afraid for your and your cats well being!!! What kind of logic is Deal with my aggressive dog and whatever he does, or else you have to get ride of your innocent cats???
His dog is the one with a behavior problem...If he won't keep his dog under control, how does he expect you to? You are trying to discipline the dog, but it feels it can dominate you! Do not get scared of the dog, they can sense fear and will know he is intimidating you. Next time he does it, shut him in a room for a cool-down time( amount of time, depends on the dog's age). Keep on being persistent with this, also for other things to do to reinforce your Alpha position go to these pages...hope this helps! But make sure your boyfriend follows these rules too, otherwise you better get rid of both of them. Because if he doesnt reinforce to the dog you are his boss, the dog will never change(either of them...lol)...hope these sites help you and your uncomfortable predicament!
PS I don't think keeping him locked up all day is OK. It probably is building up even more pent-up aggression. But defineately invest in a good muzzle for your own safety, oh and have your BF put it on him, and I think it might be good if you are the one who takes it off once your BF gets home, but only if you feel its safe enough. Your BF needs to understand you are the one taking care of the dog, so you need to feel safe alone with him. The dog is the one suffering because of his lack of wanting to properly socialise, and train him. He would be better off with someone who has the time for him, instead of him having to be in a crate all day...

Answer 10

Get rid of the boyfriend. He is encouraging this behaviour and enjoying seeing you squirm. I would pick my animals over a man any day. This is NOT fair - find a different boyfriend, preferably one without a devil dog that terrorises you aswell as your cats.

Good Luck, hope you get rid of the idiot.

Answer 11

Sounds to us like you need a new boyfriend.

If the Am Staff dog is growling at you and showing its teeth, it's a dangerous dog. Growling is a precursor to more violent behavior, and if the dog refuses to accept a "no" command, you're in a lot of trouble. Further, if your boyfriend is "laughing off" your fears and concerns, and is refusing to better train his dog to respect a "no" command, then he obviously doesn't care enough about you or your cats to keep you safe. (He also doesn't care enough about his dog to train it properly.)

Keep your cats and dump your guy and his dog.