I want to stay with him, but why doesn't he want to get married? He says that we are happy right now, and that marriage should only be to secure a complete home for children. At first in our relationship, I constantly told him and everyone else I didn't want to get married (mainly cause I didn't want to scare him off) but I really do. His sister says its cause he can't afford the wedding/ring he knows I would want and doesn't want to dissappoint me. I guess I'm just feeling my 25 yr old age and seeing my friends getting married and having kids and feeling short in the committment department, but I keep just wanting him to run off with me and alope or something. My mother keeps saying he's "not going to buy the cow when the milk is free" if i hear that one more time ill go insane....but starting to think he's just taking me for granted (free car, half bills, housekeeper, dog walker - all in one neat packaged girlfriend!)
2006-10-24 09:24:01 · 12 answers · asked by IndicaGoddess 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I've told him I want to get married now and why I said I didn't before and he still says that its unnecessary unless we are having children. :( Guess thats my answer.
2006-10-24 09:50:24 · update #1
That's kind-of a difficult question, only your man could truly answer it. It may really be about the money, my sisters bf (they are both 21) wants to marry her but they don't have a lot of money so they are waiting. It may be that he is taking you for granted. You need to talk to him and let him know how you feel. Don't worry about your age and children and marriage, you still have plenty of time. Maybe an engagement will make you feel better, maybe that will work for both of you.
Good luck, remember to talk to him.
2006-10-24 09:34:38 · answer #1 · answered by anyatavlasa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm with your Mom (but I won't say the words). Talk to him. He loves you or he wouldn't stay with you. Sometimes a guy really doesn't know what he wants in a relationship, but I'll tell you this - he has become much too comfortable and assuming that you will be there for him even if he doesn't make a commitment. You need to be truthful about your feelings of marriage. You said no to it in the beginning - a guy takes you for what you say, so say what you mean - even if he does run, what have you lost? At least you will know where you stand, and all the guessing in the world won't answer your questions - meet it head on. The wedding ring excuse doesn't fly either. I would rather be married by a J.P. with a cigar band as a ring than to have a fancy diamond that neither can afford and end up unhappy. He will not bring it to the open - you will have to - please wke him up.
2006-10-24 09:45:36 · answer #2 · answered by Doug R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lets see he's only 25 and you think its time to get married?
I think you BOTH have a lot of single living still to do.. people to see, be with, experiment with, etc. then in about 5 or 6 years... then he will start thinking about setteling down.. maybe..
A lot of guys today don't see any advantage of being married. The sex goes down, they are tied down, they can't leave or they get hit with paying for a divorce and/or child support. And what do they get out of it that they don't get with a girlfriend? not a lot. so... if he really doesn't want to get married than respect that. YOU will need to decide if this is a deal breaker or not. If it is.. then packup and move out. If it isn't.. then just be happy with what yyou have.
2006-10-24 09:30:34 · answer #3 · answered by .... 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although people are allowed to change their minds...YOU said in the beginning that you didnt want to get married. Its not his fault that you we're lying when you said it, so you can't or shouldn't catch attitude with him for him being the same way he was when he got with you. Marriage doesnt mean to one what it may mean to the other. Gettting married is a commitment so is being boyfriend and girlfriend. Married folk get divorced EVERYDAy so there are no guarantees that your present committed relationship is any better or worse than getting married. Sit dude down and ask him does he see marriage in yahs future at all. If he says NO and you know you want marriage in your future...leave him. If he says he doesnt know or yes...you have no issues.
2006-10-24 09:38:42 · answer #4 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey...he's just not that into you....Move on to someone who will appreciate you as you are and be more than happy to marry you.
Don't waste time waiting for him to "change his mind".
You already know this in your heart.
As far as being 25...you might feel differently in a year or 6 months or a couple of days. Don't get caught up in the drama of the situation. you are in control of your own life. Don't hand it over to someone else...you will be sorely disappointed.
2006-10-24 09:34:51 · answer #5 · answered by Steph 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If all else fails give him an ultamadum. If you don't marry me I'm out of here. that will let him know that you mean business and it will also let you know if he's worthy to marry, if he says nope, I don't want to get married then you'll know that he didn't love you as much as you thought. If he says ok lets get married then you know that he will do anything for you and you'll be married. It's a win win. Good Luck
2006-10-24 09:32:52 · answer #6 · answered by Amber S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm in the same situation. It makes me very depressed to hear of anyone getting married or even engaged. I wonder what is so special about them and what is wrong with me. I am a great catch and I know he knows it. I don't want to put pressure on him. It is something I want him to want to do. But at times it makes me cry. Makes me feel something is not so special about me.
2006-10-24 09:30:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage isn't always the answer. And you can be in a very happy, committed relationship without it. You seem to be wanting it for all the wrong reasons, because everyone else is...lame!!!
2006-10-24 09:31:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
one million. I met my spouse on the interior of sight rollerskating rink, Rollerpalace 2. i grew to become into 14 years outdated 3. It took me 2 seconds to realize i grew to become into in love (i grew to become into 14 - so sue me!) 4. at present I even have had 13 years of wedded bliss We married whilst i grew to become into 21...I had some stuff to do first! college for one!
2016-12-16 13:45:58 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
baby girl, thinks like this. you have to be upfront without any worry of what he thinks. tell him. you want to get married. this is what you want and don't beat around the bush either. it's a major step in both of your lives. so, no game, no hint, no screen. flat out tell him. once it's out of your chest, you'll feel better. and you're not getting any younger.
2006-10-24 09:28:51 · answer #10 · answered by harmony 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋