My husband has just told me that he has never really loved me and married me out of what he felt was obligation. Because of this he has strayed in his affection with another , several times. The last time, he fell in love with her. She is not sure how she feel for him as he is much older and lives a totaly diffrent life style. So he does not have her in his life but still loves her. As a result he does not wont to leave me, but cannot fully comit to me because he does not love me. He loves the companionship , sex and stays for thoughs reasons. I hate that he has married me out of obligation, and do not wont him to stay again out of obligation and convenience. What do I do?
2006-10-24 09:14:49 · 26 answers · asked by Marlene S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is only right that I say that my husband has not committed adultery. He has just let himself fall for other women repeatedly as a result of not loving me. Does this change the opinions.
2006-10-24 11:11:03 · update #1
Mariage outta obligation is one thing, straying is another... both hurt. Does he want to be with you at all? Is this an excuse for him to stray? How important is this relationship too you? Is it worth loosing your selfesteme? Making yourself crazy with worry or guilt? Catching a disease, because he's out screwing around?
I think you need too decide why you are there, what is in it for you too stay. Believe me girl, its scary to leave, and it can be hard at first... but there is someone out there that will love you for you. And you might just find that you will love yourself more too.
2006-10-24 09:39:06 · answer #1 · answered by think_about_this_gr8_1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am really sorry about this. You need to end the marriage immediately. The man does not love or respect you at all. Yeah tell him that you are too special just to be an obligation and you will not settle for this. You also tell him that you don't deserve this and that he deserves everything he gets. You need to leave with your self respect and dignity in tact and never marry again if there is no love. He wants to go screw about but have you also no tell him you want a divorce and he can have whoever he wants. Either way you have to move on with out him. good luck.
2006-10-24 10:11:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to leave for your own sake.
Your husband is a selfish man, rather then loving you, which is what a marriage about, he stayed for what you call his obligations.... I call them his selfish and idiotic reasons.
He wanted companionship? Get a dog.
He wanted sex? Pay for a hooker or an escort.
That was no reason to marry someone that he has no interest in. And, to make matters worse he is straying away from you, not even being faithful towards you. You should not be with someone who is not committing to your marriage.
File for divorce and go to a small claims court, get the things you need to get taken care of and stay away from this disgrace of a man.
2006-10-24 09:41:47 · answer #3 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in case you like and admire your husband very lots and you sense enjoyed and respected in return i think of you would be a fool to leave him just to adventure life on your own. Why no longer basically %. up some new pursuits, and so on. jointly as married? the unmarried life might nicely be lonely too you recognize... P.S. the analyze has shown for some years that couples are the happiest till now having youngsters...and after the youngsters leave domicile lol. Your "month one" may be merely around the corner lower back. Who is conscious? according to hazard your hubby will prefer to "stay life" with you! :) EDIT: right this is a asserting that's advisable to meditate on slightly: "melancholy seems to the previous. rigidity seems to the destiny. Happiness exists interior the present- NOW." once you're nevertheless questioning what life might have been like 2 many years in the past there's a competent threat which you're depressed. A therapist and/or a doctor ought to help you which includes your melancholy. then you definitely ought to discover ways to take excitement in the present that's relatively what you're after, isn't it? superb desires.
2016-11-25 02:34:08 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sheesh, so many answers that just advise "leave him". What about your commitment? You married him for better or for worse. Sorry that it's not what you hoped for, but you're in this marriage for life.
BTW, it sounds like you know what the right thing to do is, you just don't want to, and you're looking for people on this site to give you a green light to divorce him. Now, I don't blame you for feeling the way you do, I wouldn't want to stay married in this situation either....but hey, it's not all about what we want, is it?
--- EDIT ---
At last count, 13 people said "leave him", only one other person recommended that you stay the course. No wonder the world is in the toilet......sigh.
2006-10-24 09:26:07 · answer #5 · answered by Sheik Yerbouti 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is tough. He loves you b/c a man will be with you out of obligation, but won't marry you. He said I do to you, and meant that. Now he want's his cake and eat it too. Go to conseling. If he won't go, then (prepare yourself now) tell him you found love somewhere else and leave. "Don't do me any favors, you are not that powerful" is my motto....only God can split the Red Sea, take 2 pieces of fish and feed millions, a "real" miricle worker. Tell that jack*ss that you are doing him a favor, you are with him because, you dont' want him to be lonely for the rest of his miserable life. You know why the other woman don't want him...YOU LIVE WITH HIM!! Don't do anything, for him that is. Do for you and your baby. Tell him to keep it moving....right on out the door. He just made me mad (smile) men are so f'ing selfish and inconsiderate. If I had one wish, I would wish that all men would grow the H*LL up!!!
2006-10-24 09:49:47 · answer #6 · answered by sassy lady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to kick him out now. Don't think twice. Then divorce him. Don't waste your life on a loser like him.
Oh, BTW, I just read Gerry's answer. Commitment is a two way street. He's committed adultery. That's grounds for divorce on every level, legal and moral.
If you have the financial means, get out. He's killing your self-esteem. He doesnt' love you. He said so.
2006-10-24 09:26:22 · answer #7 · answered by wayouthere 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You deserve to know what its like to be TRULY LOVED! This man does not deserve you or the things you are doing for him. You should divorce and get yourself some true selfless, alone time to find what you want in a man and then go seek him out (the one you truly deserve) Good luck GOD BLESS!
2006-10-24 09:23:40 · answer #8 · answered by HereweGO 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are saying he has cheated, never loved you and is only staying for companionship & sex, why are you asking...You know the answer..LEAVE, you deserve better
2006-10-24 09:41:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What he's telling you is that he loves someone else and only stays with you because she's not in his life. BUT>>>if it ever happens that he could be with her, he'd leave you for her. You must do what you feel is right for you but as for me, I'd turn him loose and push him through the door!!! He's using you and that would be the deal breaker for me!!!!
2006-10-24 09:23:52 · answer #10 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋