I am a stay at home mom of 4 kids and I homeschool them, I run our business as well at the same time I am always go go go.. My question is HOW do you find time to have love making with your husband/boyfriend?? I feel like such a crappy wife I am so exhausted by the end of the day after everything that all I want to do is climb in bed and go to sleep.. I know my dh wants to have sex but he is a great guy and says I know your tired maybe tomorrow but tomorrow never comes to do it either.. I enjoy having sex with my dh when we do its just finding time.. Does anyone else have this problem or am I the tard... ?? HELP Iam 29yr old
2006-10-24 08:53:42 · 8 answers · asked by Alexis221 4 in Health ➔ Women's Health
I should add this.. Every Mon I get my nails/toes done and Wed I go shopping with my sister so thats a break but just not, I don't know. I feel like crap about this...
2006-10-24 09:01:57 · update #1
I know how you feel - I went through a lot of medical stuff (breast cancer/chemo for a year), continued working full-time through all of it, took care of a household and a child, and ended up divorced (well . . . separated for insurance purposes) because my hubby was tired of my being too tired to have sex on demand. I always thought he was understanding about all of it (especially after 12 1/2 yrs. of marriage). He had cheated at least once before, early on in the relationship, after our son was born, because I was too tired to perform. We worked through it but I didn't realize how important sex was to a man until it was too late. Most men equate love with sex (SEX=LOVE). If I had it to do all over there are many things I would have done differently - I don't know if it would make a difference (he had other mental issues, too, that affected our relationship).
1. Leave little notes letting him know you love and appreciate him. Don't overdue it - just an occassional note to let him know you think about him.
2. Take the kids to Grandma's (or Aunt's, etc.) once a month to stay the night. Make this a regular thing and spend a romantic day/evening with your husband. Go to a hotel or bed-and-breakfast and relax, make love, enjoy one another. Sleep in the next day. This will be as good for you as for him. If you can afford to do this more often and Grandma (or whomever) doesn't mind - do it! Life is too short not to.
3. Read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. It can be a marriage saver and should be read by anyone thinking about getting married, going through marital problems, or wanting to enrich their married lives. Fabulous, fabulous read.
4. Get regular check-ups and talk to your doctor about being tired or having a low libido. You might need a shot of B vitamins or a change to your diet. You may need to incorporate exercise/yoga and think about cutting a few things out of your day (enlist a friend or family member's help - maybe even hire a neighborhood teen/single mom looking for a few extra $$ to help out around the house). You would be astounded at what a difference having someone other than the kids to talk to during the day (in person, not on the phone) will do for you! Plus if you hire a someone, you may end up being an excellent reference for them later on.
Hope this helps or at least gets the creative juice flowing!
Blessed Be, Sister.
2006-10-24 09:14:15 · answer #1 · answered by greyrider 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not about finding the time...its about MAKING the time...there so many other things in life that can wait for tomorrow but spending time with your family and having quality time with your spouse is more important than getting that next load of laundry done...yeah the kids need clothes to wear but you need love too! You are not a bad mom for wanting some time for you, you are a sane mom for wanting that. You dont want to get tooo worked out with home chores or you will feel like your life is pointless so make the time to have fun with the family...kick off your shoes and go play in the backyard...you could be taken away tomorrow so make the most of today!
2006-10-24 08:59:00 · answer #2 · answered by o4_babygirl_o4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, you are way overextended. You simply cannot continue burning the candle at both ends. Explain to your husband that you are with the children 24/7 and you need a break. Let him take the kids to McDonald's once a week so you can take a long, hot bubble bath and relax. When he gets home, you will be reenergized and ready for loving.
2006-10-24 08:58:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My suggestion would be first off to send your kids to school, which is what they need anyway(for social skills among other things,and because mom isn't always going to be right there beside them)..Secondly once the kids are IN SCHOOL, and your able to be home doing your business, you should find time in the day to take a short nap(try between 1 and 3 in the afternoon), that should help a little and if it doesn't, then maybe you should hire an employee or 2 to help with the business.
Hope you find time to please your husband and save your own sanity...it's a crazy world out there, trust me....I have 3 kids, a man, i work full-time and attend college full time and still find time to run the kids to sports,help with school projects AND Please my MAN!!! :) GOOD LUCK!!!
2006-10-24 09:05:03 · answer #4 · answered by JustMe 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Set the clock back 2 hours. It works great!
By the end of the week you'll have half of an extra day. Ok, set clock back just for the evening, then return clock to correct time before going to sleep.
2006-10-24 08:59:55 · answer #5 · answered by happyfarmerswife 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe one of the new disorders ladies face is that now they're simply as same, traditionally, incomes the loved ones cash. But nonetheless are anticipated to get dinner and deal with the children, blank the apartment. Men also are I spotted are much less prone to paintings and anticipate the spouse to deal with them. Men are afraid to open the door for us, I wager both from worry that we will be able to yell at them that we will be able to do it ourselves, they do not deliver best compliments as a result of worry that we will be able to cost them with sexual harassment. We are fortunate to discover a person that cares adequate to desire to be at dwelling, and is somewhat historic original approximately caring for us however nonetheless enables us to be an same. I additionally believe that ladies are careworn to appear a unique approach, seeing that of fake promoting that Hollywood has proven us with the ultimate ladies. When correctly that is an phantasm that with out 50 individuals operating on her for five hours will certainly not obtain.
2016-09-01 02:03:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
might help if you could hire someone to relieve you a little bit --just in general to not have so much going on (and I think that will show up in other ways ;)
2006-10-24 08:55:57 · answer #7 · answered by sweets 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a sitter once a month at least and get away with him
2006-10-24 08:57:39 · answer #8 · answered by sherryrenaldi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋