I've just recently moved back in with my ex (been apart for over a year). He is beginnning to find me annoying, but i'm depressed as i've had a hard year. He expects me to be loving all the time and doesn't like to be rejected. However, i did cheat on him in the past. But he has a really bad temper.
2006-10-24 08:52:16 · 16 answers · asked by tessie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I think that perhaps after the year you have had, it's easy to forget the reasons why you split in the first place and remember the relationship as better than it was.
If the temper problem and rejection are the same now as they were before it is unlikely that it will be any better this time around, especially given that you are more fragile now than you were then.
I can see why you got back with him, almost a security blanket which is more comfortable than being alone, but long term it is not fair on either of you.
Perhaps it's time to seek treatment for depression (anti depressants are not addictive and along with counselling can be very helpful) and be by yourself for a while until you work out who you are and what you really want.
Good luck!
2006-10-24 09:04:44 · answer #1 · answered by Lynn S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be honest to yourself. If being cheated in the past, he may have lost some trust in you. Combining this with his being in love with you results in jealousy. Also he may question in himself why you came back - because of him, or because noone else is there for you at this moment ? Do you like him ? Can you commit to him ? To be rejected is terrible. He has been rejected once or twice (with the cheat). Better a clear explanation - no fit does not mean he is a bad person - you can remind nice memories (that are sincere for you), tell him in what he is or was number one, show him your respect in a sincere way but don't play with him or with yourself. If deep in yourself you still like him, and see a future, then, go for it. Ask his understanding and allowance for you to heal and be strong again. If you are sorry about the cheat, ask him to forgive you. Let talks and time heal the wounds of the past. You might grow much deeper and stronger into each other after this crisis.
If it cannot be, if you don't feel for him anymore, then don't let it rot, and go. It may sound like a splash into the dark. Don't worry, you will feel relieved, and respecting to yourself, and even your ex may become a really good friend after a while.
In any case, take care well of your health, rest, and looks as well. That will help to recover your confidence.
All the best to you and your ex² !
2006-10-24 16:18:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If a year apart from eachother did not make you all closer in your relationship, then maybe you need to stay sepearated and keep the relationship platonic. At least this way you can build the friendship by expressing what you really need from eachother without feeling the strains of a "labeled" commitment.
If you are back in this relationship and you both feel like you owe him something because you cheated on him in the past , then maybe you are both setting your self up for more pain.
I say, work on being friends and building trust, if the lust is there, feed it, so he don't forget how good your treats are. If it is meant to be your relationship will work out. If not, at least you have an attractive best friend!
2006-10-24 15:58:42 · answer #3 · answered by alugo_19 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
think about why you split up in the first place if things have gone too far for you to make things right and if you are having second thoughts may be you should talk to each other if that's not possible if he wont listen or loses his temper maybe you should call it a day and move on life is too short.
2006-10-24 16:01:35 · answer #4 · answered by slough4now 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you go back to him in the first place if you are unsure. and if you have cheated in the past, what makes you so sure you won't again.? You haven't thought about ths, it looks like you went back to him for comfort if you had a bad year. I say you should have thought things through first, not jumped in.
2006-10-24 15:58:27 · answer #5 · answered by Jeanette 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anyone you live with will be annoying to you and you will be annoying to them. If his temper is bad, then move out. If you are having to ask this question, don't you already know the answer?
Don't beat yourself about your indiscretion. Don't let him beat you up over it either.
2006-10-24 16:12:32 · answer #6 · answered by Kelly T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes you don't sound happy and he doesn't either, go your separate ways and sooner or later you ll find the man of your dreams who treats you the way you should be treated and appreciate you. your relationship reminds me of my last one. now I'm with someone else who's wonderful i never thought there was anyone better than my ex but there was, believe me its hard at first but you ll get over it.
2006-10-24 16:23:30 · answer #7 · answered by abbie g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes
2006-10-24 16:03:49 · answer #8 · answered by Gossip81 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if he has a bad temper leave him, go to the doctors to get something for your depression.
2006-10-24 15:58:02 · answer #9 · answered by Denize 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is your ex for a reason chances are you will split up for the same reason
never ever get back with an ex or you asking for trouble.
2006-10-24 15:57:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋