We separated for about 3 or 4 weeks and now we have been back together again a couple of months and I have really struggled with trusting her. It seems like everytime I question her she gets mad. Should I shut up and fight through it?
2006-10-24 08:49:54 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Relationships can be so hard sometimes. Do you know why you are not trusting her? Did she see someone else while you were separated? Did you? Maybe separating made you feel vulnerable. Just dive into being together, enjoy each other and over time these feelings should subside. Hope it all works out.
2006-10-24 08:56:58 · answer #1 · answered by ♥2323vsb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should really see about getting counseling to help get past the trust issues. Not just counseling for yourself though you should seek marriage counseling. You also need to realize that you are trying to work this out with your wife. Don't ask questions about the time you were separated. That is time period to which you guys were not together. You never stated why you guys broke up. You could also be working off a guilty conscience. You should stop ask yourself why it is so important for you to know what happened. Did you yourself do something that you don't feel good about now that you are back together. Let it rest.
2006-10-24 16:01:27 · answer #2 · answered by alwyzn2somthn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like an incomplete question. There is reason the both of you separated in the first place. If the separation was due to trust issues, then if you want to save the relationship, then get some counseling. If you don't want to stay in the marriage, then continue harassing your wife about every insecurity you are having where she is concerned, guaranteed your marriage will end. Especially if she hasn't done anything.
2006-10-24 16:10:25 · answer #3 · answered by ricepat2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends. If there are reason for mistrust then she is wrong for denying you satisfactory answers to LOGICAl questions. Trust is not regained by some sort of mental decision. It is a process that she must be willing to be an aggressive member of. If she is not then she has something to hide or isn't willing to put in the work to help you regain trust. Make sure that your presentation is sane and that you aren't asking questions in an accusatory way. If she refuses to aid in the process or makes asking questions difficult. Cut your losses now....or cut even more losses later. But you will cut your losses.
2006-10-24 17:27:39 · answer #4 · answered by Big Marc 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the counseling part and if she won't go go by yourself. Let her know that you are going and the reason why. Be honest with what you say and do. Set an example for her to follow. Then watch to see if her words are matching her action. As in--does she talk the talk and walk the walk. If you still feel the same after--say a year--then you can leave. Just make sure you have done everything in your power to save the marriage. As long as there is no abuse on either side. If there is LEAVE.
2006-10-24 16:35:48 · answer #5 · answered by PAT K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on what she did. If she cheated, the statute of limitations for question-asking, doubt and loss of trust is about one year. If you haven't settled the issue and are trusting her without being bombarded with fear that she'll do it again within one year, then it will never be fixed.
If she did something else, like stole your stuff, ran over your dog, busted your remote, bit you during a hummer, those are other trust issues and they require shorter terms of re-trusting.
You have to decide when you trust her again. If she can't deal with the healing process, kick her to the curb. It's all about regaining your comfort and trust right now.
2006-10-24 16:03:27 · answer #6 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are asking her stuff that happened in those 3 or 4 weeks let it go. Stop thinking about the pass and move on to the future or you will never see anything come out the relationship
2006-10-24 15:55:28 · answer #7 · answered by fiestylady 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let see you separated for 3-4 weeks for whatever reason....now your back together........what did you expect to change? I tried that whole thing too.......found out she had a fling...lets see thats call cheating....I divorced her, sued her for everything she had, got custody of the kids, she paid me child support till she defaulted and now she's sitting in jail like the scum bag that she is. And when she gets out she owes me 30K. She'll never see her kids again, she'll never own her own home, she won't even be able to get a car or a personal loan, or a credit card and never have a tax return...God Bless America!!!!!! So just assume that she cheated on you and get rid of her ASAP!
2006-10-24 17:02:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be asking yourself why you don't trust her? People who don't trust others usually don't trust them self.. Do you honestly have a valid reason NOT to trust your wife? If not, I would be thankful you two are back together, and work harder on your marriage-so it never happens again.. Good luck!!
2006-10-24 16:01:51 · answer #9 · answered by sue d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If there is no trust there should be no relationship.. A relationship is based on trust and if you can not trust her what do you have.. sometimes love is just not enough and you need to move on..either you can trust her and make it work and not trust her ans stop waisting your time and hers..good luck
2006-10-24 15:59:01 · answer #10 · answered by chick29 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋