MY HUSBAND CHEATED, what should i do?

Question

My husband cheated on me and had to tell me because he got genital warts.
After 10 very good years in marrige and two kids, i decided to forgive him. But lately i'm very depressed and i can't stop thinking why would he do it? how he did it etc. What can i do to stop all these thoughts?

Answer 1

Once a cheater, always a cheater. Dump him or get revenge.

Answer 2

In the bible it said if you are to become married you shall not divorce so I would say try to work things out with him. Just to let you know it says more in the bible, I just told you that part of the scripture. The old saying goes,love conquers all and if you really truly love this guy then things will work out for the best. Problems will not solve themselves,you have to work at it together. It's now up to you show him how commitment works, do what you are suppose to do as a wife and if this happens again you can leave with a clear conscious. So forgive him, pray about it and sit down and talk about what is going on within the marriage. Make sure there is no interference from anyone (family,friends co-workers) this is between you and your husband, you two built the relationship together. Now pick-up the pieces and start over together working together, being there for one another.

Good luck & God Bless!!!

Answer 3

I dont know what to tell you about what you should do, but I would like to inform you that genital warts carries the virus HPV and there is no cure for it and if you get it, it can lead to cervical cancer. All of your future sex with your husband, if you choose to stay, should be protected. Make sure you keep your annual appointments for your pap smears and specifically request an HPV test. If i were you, i would get a full STD work up now and then again in 6 months to test for HIV. If this affair was recent, it could be too soon to test for HIV. There is a 6 month window to detect HIV.

Answer 4

Well I can to tell you what to do but you have two options. If you choose to forgive him you need to do just that and move on. If you can not forgive him than let him move on. Ten years is a long time but dont start asking questions if you are not prepared to hear the answers. Some thins are left unsaid. Sometimes love is just not enough and if you find your self wondering if it was something you did or did not do you need to evaluate what is really important. As I said dont ask questions you are not prepared to hear the answer to because you may not get the answer you want..good luck

Answer 5

10 very good years because you didn't know about him cheating until he got caught. If you didn't go to counseling over this, you never learned the process of forgiveness. You don't really know how long he has been cheating on you. You don't even know who he has been cheating on you with. The fear I would have at this point is getting my results back ever six months for the rest of my life, to see if he has or has given me aids or not. It's obvious he had sex with nasty unclean partners. That is the reality of your marriage. I would truly seek counseling, you are probably still going off of his word that he is not cheating on you now. That's why you are depressed.

Answer 6

Listen sweetie Ive been there myself and I had the same questions you do. But like these guys said he needs to answer every single one of your questions no matter how stupid or uncomfortable they are. Who, where, when, how, and why. And you need to decide if you really want to stay in the marriage because you will never trust him the same again, you will always be checking his phone, car, e-mail, clothes trust me. And you will never be able to forget. Forgive maybe, but never forget, once you think you moved on there will be that one little thing that will remind you and bring all those bad feelings back. Plus do you think he would have told you if he would have been smart and used protection?

If you need to talk
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Answer 7

He's a fool.......ROFLMAO!!!!!! Genital warts aren't necessarily an STD. I was a bouncer for years and had to shake a lot of hands and one time I apparently shook the hand of someone that had warts and one time in my life I didn't wash my hands before making pee-pee I ended up with a wart on my pecker. I went to the doctor and she dieseled it down with a shot of hydrogen put a huge band-aid on it and 3 days later it was gone, nada, zilch. Your fool fessed up without knowing where it came from, cuz if a chick got warts on her choochie you know it, there ain't know hiding that stuff...LMAO.....so I would divorce the guy for being a fool. And I would run all over town telling people that he has dick warts and rest assured that he'll never get that thing in another woman in that town. Sue him for child support and any health issues that you may have in the forever future.......still>>>ROFLMAO

Answer 8

He will more than likely do it again. The first time is the hardest. He will find it easier to cheat again. He may be depressed too. Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I've been there too. It's very difficult to get past betrayal. I would try to forgive him, but don't stay with him. Love yourself enough to get out now.

Answer 9

stop the sex.... immediately.. be happy it was warts and not hiv or herpes.... don't divorce... you have been there to long.. find something constructive to do with your time, that does not involve him. Make sure u let him know that you are too busy or too stressed for sex.... if you keep thinking about it it will eat u up... go to a sports bar and a let a stranger buy you a drink ... 2 can play his game but don't fool around ,,, its a sign of insecurity... .. how old is he?? he obviously thinks he's a player but the cheap girl he went out went probably convinced him is a PAYOR.. dummie (him)

Answer 10

what i thought was a reasonably happy marriage, never was,he left the marriage way before he actually left it physically. found out he had been cheating for years. you can't stop the thoughts, that's why i chose divorce instead of waiting it out till she was finished with him, i knew in my heart of hearts that it would forever burn in my mind, and affect any real chance of a reconciliation ever.they cheat because they are weak, and they don't have any boundaries or any integrety.it does hurt to know they chose to cheat rather than come to you with their problems. once a cheater always a cheater and it's the not knowing when it will happen again that causes us not to be able to go forward. sometimes we must do damage to our own hearts to find peace, sometimes we must leave the man we thought loved us, cause we never get past what they did.

Answer 11

He needs to communicate with you about why-lust,opportunity,boredom,
etc honestly so those issues can be addressed.As far as the particulars of the affair,the details will only torture you and are best unknown.Of Course you can't stop thinking about it,get some answers,and give yourself time to heal.You have chosen to forgive him,now you have to find that within yourself.I myself could not.Good Luck to you and your family.