My DH & I have been married going on 10 years. His oldest daughter threw a party for her 1 year old and didn't include me on the invitation. Hubby said I should go anyway, which I didn't because to me, that would be just as rude. I told him to go anyway but he needed to ask his daughter why his wife was included. When he got back, I asked him what she said and he said "about what?" He never said one word to her and everyone who asked where I was, he told them I didn't want to come. Am I being too sensitive or should he have spoken up and questioned the daughter? I know if I invited her husband over without her, my husband would tear me a new one. Maybe it's just time to move on and live alone. It's hard to stay in a relationship thats only one sided. He insists that my own kids respect me but why shouldn't his kids?
2006-10-24 08:26:47 · 10 answers · asked by whitewolf8853 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The invite should have included you so yes, she is in the wrong and your husband definatly should have spoken up about it. I made the mistake once of not including my step-mom on an email and heard about it from my Dad.
Second, your husband should have said that there was a discrepancy on the invite and that's why you didn't attend. He definatly did not have your back on this and treated you just as cold as his daughter did.
Speak Up! You're not in the wrong!
2006-10-24 08:30:49 · answer #1 · answered by Dr. Kat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be sent a written invatation to a Grandchilds brithday party seems a bit formal to me anyway, so there maybe a problem there between him and his daughter. I would want to give her the benefit of the doubt though that it was just an oversight. That inviting her Dad was inviting you too. But I must say he certainly made it worse by saying you just didnt want to come. Men don't like confrontations and you wouldn't want that at a childs birthday party but I would talk with her about it. I certainly wouldn't break up a marriage over something like that though.
2006-10-24 15:54:59 · answer #2 · answered by sweetkooky 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men are from Mars! Telling them you didn't want to come, probably was his way of not saying, the daughter didn't put your name on the card. But in a woman's point of view, thats not cool either. Did the daughter ask why you weren't there? Her directly. If she did, then I would send her a note and explain you didn't want to impose if she really didn't want you there. If she didn't ask, then she didn't want you there, maybe due to her real mom being there and causing a problem. Double check with your husband, find out if the daughter asked. If she did, write or call her and explain you didn't want to impose if it caused hard feelings. If she didn't ask, leave it alone.
2006-10-24 15:36:01 · answer #3 · answered by flower 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As I read through the rest of your question, it sounds like you are having more issues than you are putting in this article. He should address his daughter about her attitude towards you, but maybe he already knows what the issue is. Now that I think about it, you have been married to this man for 10 years, you should already know what his daughter's problem is with you as well. My opinion is, don't even pay her any attention. Find something to do with your time versus paying attention to his daughter's attitude. If you ignore her, you will be much happier. Make yourself happy first.
2006-10-24 15:47:43 · answer #4 · answered by ricepat2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband was wrong and disrespectful to your marriage.
I understand the children are not always happy to see their parents move on but as a parent we should not allow that type of behavior.
He should have called his daughter and asked her why his entire family was not invited. Listen to her response and he should have kindly said, "send us an appropriate invitation".
Talk to your husband and let him know that this behavior will not be tolerated. He must let his children know that he loves you and everyone must respect each other.
2006-10-24 15:40:57 · answer #5 · answered by Bubbles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband should not have gone. On the plus side you now know where you stand with him. That is behind him and his kids
2006-10-24 15:53:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ive done the same to my wife.! ive never gone up against my daughters.....no matter what! shes my princess, i dont care if shes wrong ....i dont have the heart to hurt her feelings.......i take her side over her moms......always....the girls have always come to daddy to make the bad things go away.......i feel bad about there mom being 3 rd choice.......but my girls come first.......mom comes last....i know i suck for this.......but my girls are 20 & 18 now.......they still come first.......i honestly feel they can do no wrong.....sometimes their mom overreacts......sorry
2006-10-24 18:59:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband needs to grow a backbone. He screwed you over, if you ask me. Why do you tolerate it?
2006-10-24 15:38:45 · answer #8 · answered by sheeny 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's messed up. Be glad you didn't go - the party was probably boring anyway.
2006-10-24 15:37:45 · answer #9 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His kids should respect you! All children should respect their elders, no matter how old the children are.
2006-10-24 15:32:11 · answer #10 · answered by piratewench 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋