How can I get my father to stop being overprotective?

Question

I dont want to come across sounding like some bratty little kid that wants their parents to disappear from the face of the earth. But I do want my father to slack off a little. I'm sixteen years old and he does not want me to go out with my friends on the weekend, he wont let me buy a cell phone or get a job after school and he wont even let me stay up pass nine o clock. I know that i am still young but I need some sort of freedom. How can I get my father to realize that I'm not a little kid anymore?

Answer 1

Lady D your actually quite lucky to have a Dad who loves u so much! Your not bratty, just a normal teen. You don't mention Mom so if she is in your family unit be sure to sit down, have a heart to heart with both of them.

Avoid using so & so parents let them! Cause the truth is your Dad doesn't care how they raise their kids. Dialog, dialog. Provide them facts, try for a small step.

The 9PM- mine go to their rooms and get ready for bed. 10PM it's lights out. School nights you need your sleep, especially with a heavy course load that mine have. So drop the bedtime issue.

But a job is a positive thing, how are u going to get there? Do u drive? Are u organized? It takes responsiblity to maintain good grades, household chores, activity commitments and work too. Research find out wages, hours and mode of transportation. Tell Dad u want to save for college, and have alittle spending money then start to do just that. I don't know your family financial situation but having teens drive is serious insurance money. The insurance company penalizes your parents for the first 3 yrs of your driving. Let alone if you got tickets or accidents it could seriously affect your family. Try to listen to your Dads reasons and come up with mature solutions to his argument.

Our daughter asked for a trial bases during the summer. It went well and then she worked about 15 hrs per wk during the school week. All of them work now. But before that she volunteer at camp and spent the summer be volunteer. It showed us she was ready to tackle a job. Volunteering might show him you mean business too.

Don't pout and stomp away when he says No. Start the dialog with Mom. When Dad is with one of close family friends solicit their help in supporting your logical argument.

Cell ph mine had one they shared to let me know their afterschool activities wheither they had to be picked up early etc. They did not use it to talk to friends, nor text and all the cool things they do now. But now they both drive so they have them for safety & now that is the way they communicate with family and friends. You need to show responsiblity on your home phone, internet. Let him see you have nothing to hide. When you do go say to the movies, ask your parent for their cell phone so you can check in. Call Dad to just say " I luv U", yes it's sucking up but it's also planting the seed that cell is a good thing. You'll get one, just don't abuse it like many of my childrens friends have. They don't need $300 to $1,000 bill from their kids.

Good luck, just keep asking and providing solid reasons. If he won't let you go off with friends. Bring them home, get him comfortable around them. Have him chaperone if that is the only way to let you go to the movies, dinner. The bottom line is he luvs u and only wants the best 4u.

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Answer 2

At 16 you should be allowed more freedom for sure. I had the same problem. It drove me up a wall. Actually both parents were overprotective, because I was raped when I was 7 yrs old and they felt tremendous guilt, so they over-reacted by being way overprotective. I think it contributed to a nervous breakdown I had when I was about 13. He may be concerned that you may be molested by a boy on a date or while out with your friends. Can you talk to your minister or a trusted adult about your problem, maybe a school guidance counselor? Maybe they can go to bat for you . It sounds like you need the support of another adult to reassure your father that you will be ok. The only way a young person can grow is to be allowed to make mistakes. Parents need to understand this. Otherwise, you will be out on your own after 18 or so and not be prepared. I didn't even know how to balance a checkbook when I left at 18 because my father insisted on doing it all and constantly let me know I wasn't capable of doing any thinking on my own.

Answer 3

First of all, make sure you aren't acting like one. If your grades are good and you aren't acting like a child, then trying helping out around the house more. With freedom comes responsibility. If you show him that you are a responsible young lady, he may ease up some. If your mother is not also overprotective, enlist her as an ally to speak to your father. If all else fails, ask to sit down with him and have an adult discussion. Start with little steps like going to lunch or shopping with a friend on a Saturday afternoon. Make sure you come home on time (early would be even better). Once he realizes that you can be trusted to make good choice and act responsibly, he'll probably give you more freedom.

Answer 4

Dads are always going to be overprotective of there daughter's . You need to talk to him and ensure him that your not planning on doing anything that will risk your future . I'm not saying this will work . But you need to have a trusting relationship with your dad . Not saying you don't have one . You just need to prove to him that he can trust you. Maybe if you and your boyfriend wouldn't hug so much or if anything else in front of him may also help . I'm a dad myself .

Answer 5

wow 16 years old

how do you feel about your dad and that is your answer.

how do you trully feel about your father do you think he is over protective, controling and spiteful or is looking into your best well being .

being a parent is not easy and we make mistakes yet with all the mistakes we make hopefully we instill the values that make our children the best people for them selves.

and as a child once i had to stand up to my parents once or twice maybe i didnt get what i wanted ar may be i got what i wanted it really didnt matter because i remember my parent loved me. And what i thought was unfair then might have been
but i understand today that they trully love me then and still now.

when i was 16 i had a knack to turn events to favor the out come i wanted and when it didnt .... darn life was so unfair

Answer 6

It's your Dad's job to protect you. How do you suppose your Dad would feel if he gave you the freedom that you think you can handle and it ended up putting you in a situation where something bad happened to you? I understand where you are coming from, but your Dad is your Dad.

Answer 7

i know what you mean but look am 19 and i have a baby in eyes of a parent we just try to protect our kids from getting hurt,
any as i kid i can as say that yea parents can and do overreacted but over time things change.

Answer 8

Sounds like my father when I was your age. It's a control issue. It's not about love, it's about control. My father is dead and to this day I can't help but be resentful of how he was when I was growing up.

Answer 9

Show him that you are responsible & can be trusted and he will probably lighten up. Sometimes its very hard for a parent to let go of their child. Good luck!

Answer 10

Show some responsibility around the house and things will get better.