Do I have too many grammar mistakes and passive verbs?

Question

Do you see yourself the same way your parents see you? Explain.


Three words I would use to describe myself are funny, athletic and hardworking. Three words my parents would use to describe me are smart aleck, too involved and lazy. I may have over-exaggerated some of that, because my parents do not think that appallingly of me. I do think my parents have a similar view as I have of myself, but it’s natural for me to think higher of myself. My parents also have some different points of view, due to the fact that they do not see me all the time, and that they have to chauffer me around to practices and meetings. Overall, I think my parents recognize my downfalls, but are proud of me and all my sisters.

How many passive verbs are in this paragraph?
Any grammar mistakes and/or suggestions?
Thanks.

Answer 1

No obvious grammar mistakes.

The "three words sentances" could be made less passive sounding by just saying "I would describe myself as...", but it loses a bit of meaning that way.

"Appallingly" is an interesting word...poorly might serve better there

"view as I have of myself" might be flat out grammatically incorrect, or might just be awkward. Maybe replace with "my parents, for the most part, share my view of myself" or something like that.

Answer 2

You did a good job.
I'd change: Three words my parents would use to describe =
"My parents would say I am a smart aleck....."
Make over-exaggerated just "exaggerated"
You could make "I do think" = "I believe my parents have a similar view ..."
due to the fact = "because" and then
and that they have = "and chauffer"
Change the last line to "but are proud of all my sisters and me.

Answer 3

To the response that you should start out with "in my opinion", don't do that b/c every English teacher I have ever had tell me not to do that.
1)try to use another adjective besides smart aleck, maybe sarcastic or something else
2)change over-exaggerated to exaggerated
3)reword "do not think that appallingly of me": maybe use: do not think that I am that appalling.
4)the sentence that starts with: "My parents also have..." is bit of a run-on sentence. Try rewording it differently or splitting it up into 2 seperate sentences.
5) the last sentence is a pretty good thought but try rewording it differently.
hope this helps!

Answer 4

I think you should start off like this:
In my opinion, I am.....
However, in my parent's opinion, I probably am (wut do u mean by smart aleck...its a noun..you want an adjective..maybe stuck up? proudy? smart?...how canm you be too involved yet lazy?! doesn't make sense..those two controverse each other!
My parents and I have a similar view on my personality. Yet naturally, I probably speak higher of myself because I am speaking about myself and my parents probably speak less of me because they are the ones who have to take care of me. Overall, my parents most likely recognize my downfalls rather easily/more than I do myself.because they watch my behavior. However, I do know that they are proud of me.

( Do not add and all my sisters..it's irrelevant to the question being asked..the asker is asking you about yourself not you and all your sisters! )

Hope I helped!

Answer 5

It is basically pretty good. Please correct the spelling of chauffeur. To make it more active voice (rather than passive voiced) take out the word "would." As in: Three words I use to describe myself (instead of three words I would us...) . Change one sentence to: My parents have a different point of view since they do not see me all of the time. I would also take out "over-exaggerated" and just put exaggerated.

Basically it is pretty good. You should get a good grade.