When we first started dating, he was full steam on about talking about getting married and having children. Here we are 4 years later and still nothing. He keeps saying it's because he was married before and wants to make sure that he doesn't have to go through another divorce, that this time it's forever. Should I feel guilty because I want something (engagement) to show that we're still moving forward? I'm not asking to get married right now, but I feel like I need something! What are your thoughts?
I feel kind of bad for saying this, but I don't want to be wasting my time if he's not serious any more. It's an added worry that we're already living together, so why does he have to do anything because he's already got all the perks of marriage without actually having to be married. I'm just worried, because I've already broken up with another guy where the relationship didn't go anywhere after 4 years. Should I keep the same standards now that I did back then?
2006-10-24 08:05:11 · 7 answers · asked by Heather 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Tell him exactly how you feel. After 4 yrs you should not waste any more of your time on this relationship.
How long did it take him after his divorce to decide if he ever wanted to have sex again??
Don't invest in a non-profit relationship.
2006-10-24 08:12:24 · answer #1 · answered by Bubbles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These are my thoughts. You shouldn't feel guilty about wanting something to show you are moving forward. Just understand that divorce can set a person back in their relationship security.However I do wonder is whether or not his comment about worrying is genuine or if he is just making excuses. I think that as long as you live together and have sex, there is no real motivation for him to marry you, especially since he has been married before. If you cut off the sex and living together, either he will propose sooner or go. I don't think there is anything wrong with withholding those two things from a man until you are married. No matter what, don't nag him because it's just going to cause problems.
2006-10-24 15:18:29 · answer #2 · answered by Ann Ducketts 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HEs not really wanting to get married or he would have asked you long before now. Give him a choice, eather you and him get married or, move on. HEs wasting your time. Drop him, find someone else.If he has been hurt by someone befor you he will never ask you.
2006-10-24 15:12:31 · answer #3 · answered by mswildman2005 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he doesn't ask you to marry him within at the very least 18 months - 2 yrs mark it ain't happening dump him while your still young
2006-10-24 15:31:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
keep the same standards, no point in being in a relationship if you're unhappy with the way things are going.
tell him what you really want and if he doesn't want the same thing... buh bye
2006-10-24 15:20:25 · answer #5 · answered by Deep Thought 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dump him... Its been 4 long years and nothing?? Life is too short
2006-10-24 15:09:39 · answer #6 · answered by maggie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free
2006-10-24 19:50:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋