If I make money on the side, does my husband have the right to decide how to use it??

Question

My husband loves to control the money. Usually when I get paid, he transfers all my money into his account and pays bills,he leaves like $50 and expects me to 'make it last' till next payday. I finally stood my ground and am now keeping my money & helping him pay the bills. Now, I'm doing a little job on the side as a typist, and he's already trying to decide for me how to use the money. I told him it's mine and I will decide how to spend it, but he's just not getting it. I can already tell it might lead to an argument later - I have to, again, stand up to him and tell him its MY MONEY. It's not like I'm going shopping with it, I'm trying to make it last till my next payday, I even gave him some of it, but aparently it's not enough. Am I being selfish? Don't I have the right to hold onto AND decide how to spend MY money?

Let's get something straight. I'm not one of those women that think his money is MINE and my money is also mine. I contribute almost all of the money I make to bills, so does he. Of course, I'm going to give him some of it, but I don't want him deciding how to spend it...that should be my choice.

Answer 1

Sounds like your husband is trying to control the moves you make by limited your money. You earning money just like him. Take control of your money byt also try to comprimise with that crazy man of yours.

Answer 2

I can't believe what I'm seeing being written on this.

I guess its ok to just ASSUME that the male will just dump 90-100% of HIS INCOME into the house to make sure everything is there when needed - food, clothes, heat, shelter, phone, cell phone, internet, tv, cable, etc.... but its totally ok for a woman to just keep it all because ITS HER MONEY!!!

I say grow up.

Sure you have the right to hang on to your money. Just like HE has the right to hang on to HIS money.

If he is paying the bills, clothing you, giving you shelter, etc all out of HIS paycheck then what makes you think that anything you make is just for you?

If you want to make this fair then you both should contribute the same percentage of money to "the household" and then you each need to keep what ever is left over FROM YOUR checks. that may mean that you both contribute 90% of your income to the "house" and you both get to keep 10% for your use. this may mean that if he is making 10K a month and you are making 1K a month then he will get to keep and spend 1000 while you get to keep and spend 100 each month. Anything else.. isn't fair because he would still be contributing more percentage than you.

A lot of people will say just give him 50% because thats "fair". Well look at it this way. What if you both gave just 50% and that wasn't enough to pay the bills? what then? No.. it needs to be and equal percentage to cover the bills that true, but it may not be 50% of each.. it may be 60% or 80% or if you are lucky 40% or 30%.

I would highly suggest getting marital counceling as this marriage is headed for the dumpster.

Answer 3

You are not being selfish at all.. if you're already helping him pay the bills and all that, you dont need to give him any of money you're making on the side.. it's your money and you decide how to spend it!

Answer 4

It is your money and you need to keep on standing your ground!!! Don't let your husband control you. Put your extra money aside, like your other money...continue to help pay the bills. He has no say in what you can do with your income.

Answer 5

I predict a divorce within 2 years if you keep this up. Is his money HIS and your money YOURS? Perhaps you'd like to stop "helping" pay the bills and pay them all yourself? Perhaps he'd like to keep HIS money for himself and let you, Miss Moneybags, decide if you want eletricity this month. Maybe you can use YOUR money to pay the gas bill. Use YOUR money to pay the mortgage. Use YOUR money to put gas in the car.
You're not so much being selfish as you are being immature. Get the pre-marital counseling you didn't get before and learn how to manage marital finances.

Answer 6

No. I don't see where he is giving you half of his money? His problem is he thinks he owns you and you are his child. You need to nip that in the bud right now. Tell him your money is yours. Unless he gives half of his money to you and you give half to him it is not fair.
You should take over some of the bills and he should pay the others then each of you is contributing. It will give a fair balance to your argument.It also shows you are mature enough to handle the bills as well. Because in divorce court they split your bills and assets in half.

Answer 7

Yes you do!! Are all you bills getting paid and does your husband have any of his money left after paying bills. (more then $50) if so then he doesn't have any rights to how you spend your money.

Answer 8

If you're "legally married" , technically, he does have the rights to 50% of all the assests that come into the family...as you do also. If you really want to push the issue, tell him that you'll only give him half of what you make and that's it. But you also want half of what he makes as well.

You should set up a family account, and have separate accounts for yourself and let him have one for himself. That way you can do whatever you want (and so can he) with the extra money.

That' the fair way to do it.

My wife is free to do whatever she wants with her money.

Answer 9

Your husband only has as much rights as you allow him to have. It is your money also, stand up for yourself or you will regret it in the future. I am sure that money will not be all he will try to control.

Answer 10

He has the right to control his then so in theory you should split the bills down the middle then which most likely is more than you make. It boils down to communication between you so that you both can agree to do with your new found wealth.