I have lost alot in 1 year..?

Question

On february 12,2005 I lost my 38 year old brother. I have felt like a piece of crap since the day he died. We were very close! I had called in sick to work because my daughter had a cold and My brother called me to come pick him up and drive him to run some errands. Thinking nothing of it I went and picked him up. We spent the whole day together. The next day, my brother called and asked that i bring my son over so he could work with him and I told him no. I had to go take my daughter to dance and didnt have time. He then told me that he felt like he was dying and he was ready to die because he had nothing. next thing i know my son is calling me from his house saying that he wasnt breathing. My brother died by having a pulmonary embolism. My 15yr old son did cpr on him not knowing that he was already gone. On December 30, 2005 I lost my 58 year old mother. She fell from the top of her stairs and hit her head serveral times on the way down and died instantly. will the guilt ever go

Answer 1

First of all, I am very sorry for your losses..

It seems like you are using the guilt as a reason for them passing, however, it is not at all your fault. Deep down inside, you should know this.
Regardless of what we do, and where we are, we will all die, one day. It is a part of life...

I suggest you talk to a counselor about everything happened, to help you work through it.

Answer 2

You shouldnt feel guilty. You did not cause their deaths and it sounds like you and your family members were close. What could you have done? You had no idea what was going to happen. Just remember them and the time you spent with them and maybe try some counseling. When you come to terms with the fact you didnt do anything except live your daily life and that there is nothing wrong with that and that you didn't bring on their deaths then maybe you can let go of some of the guilt. Good luck.

Answer 3

None of this is your fault. These things happen to people every day. You don't have the power to stop these things from happening. Just know this, you did the best you could and that's all any of us can do. There is no point in blaming yourself. Could you really have prevented any of it? Even if you were there with your brother, could you have stopped the embolism and saved him? Even if you were with your mom every minute of the day, could you have kept your mom from falling or caught her on the way down? None of these things are humanly possible. Stop beating yourself up. Think of all the good times you had with these people and the joy they gave to other's lives. They made their contribution to the world. Now it is your turn to pick up where they left off and make a difference in other's lives. Fulfill yourself serving others and you will find that your mom and your brother are still with you in spirit.

Answer 4

That's rough, I know how it feels to lose family. Since August, 2005 I have lost three cousins, all of whom I was close to and it still hurts. I had also lost two of my uncles, which was also hard because I'd known them all of my life. Another difficult situation that I had was the passing of my roommate.
Life can be very difficult, and all that you can do is to deal with it as best you can and move on with your life. You didn't have anything to do with these deaths, and you shouldn't feel any guilt whatsoever. How were you suppsed to know that these things were going to happen? It's all just a part of what we call "life."

Take it easy!

Answer 5

Sorry for your loses. Time does not heal all wounds but as time goes on coping becomes a little easier. Go to support group groups and any book store has tons of books on grief. You should think of all the good times and talk to a close friend. It will all help.