he is messing around with his so called best friends wife, the best friend has a mistress; he denies it. he says he loves me but he doesnt know what he wants, i have stood very low for him & begg for him to stay with us(his girls & I). i get treated really bad by him cuz he says i dont do anything else than say the samething over and over, that i should let things be the way they are. i am truly inlove w/him and dont know if i should fight to win him back or just give up just like he did! it hurst so much that i dont even know how to begin accepting this and just give up. i dont want this for my girls so why cant i move on!! i call him all the time, i want to know what his doing/who is he with, how do i stop chasing him around and try win him over again to see what am worth, is it even worth it to try to get him back? we been married 10yrs 2girls & i love him just the same as when we met!!!!
2006-10-24 07:57:49 · 15 answers · asked by why 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have also been married for 10 years. This situation would devistate me. He wont see what you're worth until you see it. How is he to respect a woman that doesn't respect herself enough to leave a man like him who is treating her this way. He sees you as you see yourself. You don't need to leave the house if you are financially dependant. Move into a new room. Ignore him. Don't talk to him. Start making a new fun life that totally excludes him, besides family time. If you're going to the park, invite him, don't talk to him while you're there though, make it about the girls. Sooner than later he's going to want to be back on the hunt for you. He'll want you back. The question is are you strong enough to put him on punishment for at least 2 months. DO NOT GIVE HIM ANY OF YOU. Not a laugh, not a meal, nothing. Have fun in front of his face. GOOD LUCK
2006-10-24 08:04:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hon you need to take a good hard long look in the mirror at your self where did your self respect go when did you decide you were second best ? he is a dog and has no respect for you or your kids or his so called best Friend, I know how bad it hurts to know the person you loved for so long has betrayed you but you know what you will be all right let his sorry azz go and if you really want to get his attention well you go see your self a really good Divorce lawyer and take his sorry *** to the cleaners I bet you he will be begging you for your forgiveness then .And i would also set me up a date to talk to his best friend because even if he has a mistress he is still going to be pissed off that his so called best friend is doing his wife.....you just remember there is a very thin line between love and hate
2006-10-24 08:19:06 · answer #2 · answered by just_me_1955 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love and Respect yourself first. No one can love you until you love yourself. It's an old saying but it's true. Then if you still want him after how badly he treated you remember once a cheater always a cheater. No one should ever take advantage of someone else especially if they really love you. As for your girls, there are plenty of loving respecting men out there that will show your girls more love than their real father. What your husband is doing to you and your family is disrespectful. It's hard loving someone so deeply that doesn't treat you well, or value you. Love yourself and your girls, someone greater will love you back even more!!!!
2006-10-24 08:12:35 · answer #3 · answered by APRILBEAR 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can stop this cycle by first thinking of your children. A father is the first man in a child's life; It's what they base their future relationships on. So if you want your girls to find men who treat them the way your husband treats you, well by all means keep fighting for this man who will continue to treat his family like garbage. Teach them that they should fight for a man who does not respect them, teach them that they're worthless and should let a man walk all over them.
However, if you want to teach them some some self respect, then throw this bum out and teach your kids that they should NEVER let ANYONE treat them badly. Teach them that no one is worth them throwing away their self respect.
2006-10-24 08:12:05 · answer #4 · answered by snickers808 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can you be in love with someone that shows you such little respect?
For the sake of your children, you should ask him to stop the cheating or leave. Your children are seeing what is going on in your relationship and how you are handling life as a woman. Do you want them to allow themselves in the same situation when they are older that you are in now? You are setting the example.
2006-10-24 08:02:21 · answer #5 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your story is so so similar to mine. I waited it out for 18 years before I got the gumption to leave. I am so happy now and in love with a man who adores me (and my children). Walk away. You gave him more power over you by begging him to stay. You watch, as soon as you are gone and he knows that he can't get you back, he will cry and beg to get you to come home. You stay strong and know that there are wonderful good men out there who just want to be loved and cherished too. Find one of them and give your love to someone who deserves it! Watch too the lessons you are teaching your daughters! They are watching you. Teach them that it's not okay to stay with a loser who hurts and abuses you.
2006-10-24 08:08:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will be hard no matter what u decide to do but, my advice is to give it time ignore him for awhile when he sees u r not there he WILL miss u.
And if he does not then maybe it wasn't meant to be. Think about your girls and yourself for a change. try to do something to keep your mind of him. i know it is going to be really hard and painful but, trust me things do get better.
you and your girls deserve alot better , don't let them see how he treats u and most of all don't let them see u cry for you will damage their view of their father (not that i take his side but he will always be there father) and they will hate him for what he does to you. So try and take care of yourself and your girls if god intended him for you he will come back.
Good luck and smile to life good things are out there
2006-10-24 08:08:38 · answer #7 · answered by Solitaire 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long has he been cheating? I understand that you love him, but is he mean to you around your kids? You should never just throw away a marriage, but sometimes leaving one is better for you and your children! Just think about if it is affecting your kids in anyway. my mom was in a marriage with a man that cheated all the time, so that means that they were unhappy, and yes it affected us when we were kids. Just make sure you think of your children!
2006-10-24 08:07:28 · answer #8 · answered by panda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just take tiem and heal shwo your girls the side fo you maybe they didnt get to see because you were busy adn do something for your self it will take a while but trust is hard to give to someone again just trust yourself and it will ease the pain dont let the pain be the reason you dont trust your husband but get back to gether to ease it up life hurts many times just grow stronger.
2006-10-24 08:03:29 · answer #9 · answered by vomissie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl you can only take so much....but i'm sure you're woth more then that don't let him put you down like that...as much as it hurts
you gotta let go sooner or later...you don't want you're girls thinking it's ok to get treated like that by someone there gonna love!!
2006-10-24 08:23:38 · answer #10 · answered by Precious M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋