Are their any married people out there that have had a threesome? I just want to know if it is possible to continue to have a marriage afterward. I have been told it's best to pick a stranger for the third because you will never see that person again, is this correct?
I want to here from someone that is married and has experience.
This is my husband’s fantasy to have another guy join in. I am seriously considering it but I am scared that one of us is going to like the third person too much.
Thanks
2006-10-24 07:53:38 · 25 answers · asked by loribaby36 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think if you set clear ground rules as to how it's going to happen, who can do what, etc. you can be fine. It's important that you both want to do it, otherwise don't. I'd definately go with the stranger approach.
My partner and I have had 3rds join, under set circumstances and been fine. Together 5 yrs. strong.
2006-10-24 07:57:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Being a guy (most guys fantasize about this at some point or another) I have wondered about this. I am marriee but have never had one. I wouldn't even consider asking, partly because I respect my wife to much, and party because I think it would completely ruin things. I don't even consider whether she would do it or not. She very well may do it; I'll never know.
While I do think that picking up a stranger would be "better" (std's to think about) for the relationship, I think that it may be the chance for an enormous wedge to come between the couple. The bottom line is how stable and in love are the two of you? What kind of relationship do you both have? Is it free and trusting or could there be any room for even the smallest hint of a doubt to come into it. If there is, then I think a threesome is too risky of a venture. I don't mean to be a cuckold to your hubby, but unless you are very trusting and secure in each other don't do it. A three some is something for a less serious relationship where the consequences are not so high.
2006-10-24 08:03:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course it can. We've been having threesomes and moresomes for several years now, and it has not in any way damaged our relationship, in fact it has taken something that was already good and made it better. For us, swinging was just taking our trust in each other and fantasies together to the next level. Some have fantasies, we live ours. It's not for everybody though and that is why not everybody is equipped emotionally to do it.
Why are you scared that one of you might like the third too much? Relationships that last are not built upon sex. No sex in the world could take me away from my wife. Sex with someone else and the sex we have as a couple in love it two completely different things. Sex with others is like a one night stand. Sex together it soul sex.
The way I see it, sex is not the be-all-end-all of a relationship. Both my wife and I were married before and lovers before. I had great sex with other women before I met my wife, and she had great sex with other men before she met me. If that is all it takes to make a relationship than we would probably still be with one of them. But it's not. We lust each other because the sex is great. We love each other because of everything else we have the other 23 hours a day. That is what no sex organ of another could ever replace.
“Love is what we call the situation which occurs when two people who are sexually compatible discover that they can also tolerate one another in various other circumstances.” ~ Marc Maihueird
I think too many people put too much emphasis on the sex part of the relationship. Then, when the lust starts to settle a bit in a few years they are not longer blinded by it and discover they have very little else in common, or like very little else about their partner. Then they split-up.
If you are both secure in yourself (read not the jealous sort), and in your relationship, and it is something you both want to experience for each other, than you should try it. You'll have a great time. But, all those above conditions need to be met first. ;-)
2006-10-26 14:37:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest a stranger... wow your'e husband wants MFM lucky you!!! Most guys would go for FFM! Not sure what will happen to the marriage afterwards..really depends on how the experience goes I guess. I have friends who go into sharing and they are not seperated..it worked good for him but not for her...depends on how open minded you are I guess.... think carefully before you do anythings and talk openly to each other. Agree that if after the experience one of you doesnt want to do it again then agree not too.... problem is you might like it A LOT and then what??
2006-10-24 07:58:03 · answer #4 · answered by Lynne B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Run from that idea and run fast. Your husband will never look at you the same if you have another man join the two of you. The chances of him getting very jealous are huge and you will lose your self respect. On top of that, he will wonder if you liked that guy better, if you were still seeing him on the side...blah, blah, blah... Doubt will become the biggest thing he deals with all the time... Sure marriages survive threesomes all the time, but many of them are destroyed by them... I know, I have been there...
2006-10-24 07:59:59 · answer #5 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes it will survive. Just get it in your head that it's only sex, not a commitment. I have had a threesome, with my husband and another woman. It was over 5 years ago, and we are still married...
2006-10-24 08:37:14 · answer #6 · answered by tear streeked angel 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you do it , the best way for it to happen and succeed is for the other man to be far less attractive than your husband, and let your husband be the master of ceremonies.(let him be in control of everyone) Do not use a stranger, but someone your husband has dominance over. It can be very erotic!
2006-10-24 08:21:01 · answer #7 · answered by dominicaquilino 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It can survive, but it will always be damaged. If your husband is wanting another guy to join in, I'm guessing he has some latent bi-sexual feelings he wishes to explore. If he likes it too much, you could lose him entirely. We had a local couple who picked up a stranger to fulfill a similar desire, and they ended up robbed and shot in the trunk of their car. Way too many possible problems to face.
2006-10-24 08:01:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yep, pick a third CLEAN person, it is awkward for most if they have to see the third person again. Even if its a guy or a girl. Some relationships are strong enough to handle someone they both know, but there is a fine line there.
2006-10-24 07:57:13 · answer #9 · answered by Fuzzy 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Really No, a Thrid Partner is Infidelity You don't know the Sanctity of Marriage.
Its Between Two and Only Two Partners a Man and a Woman, I Know a lot of Married Women and they're Man would kicked My *** If I date Date or going Out or worst Sexual intercourse with their Wife.
If your Man is Gay Dump Him You know Love Men and Hates Women, If he's Bi-Sexual your a Polygamist those are all Bad Things get Out of the Relationship before you get hurt.
2006-10-24 08:04:06 · answer #10 · answered by tfoley5000 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋