I don't see how any one who has half a brain can't see how the court system is built in favor of mom and against dad. Thank god it's changing but we still have tremendous biased favoring. Why don't oppenents of shared parenting, which are mainly feminists and women whom claim to be for equally rights, really sand for what they claim to stand for? How can it be that women have custody in almost all cases? All men can not be unfit.
2006-10-24 07:52:50 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is more about traditional thinking and political clout. Average American men have no organized institutional voice to recognize their issues in a court of law. Any law which unfairly gives out advantages to males only, will be shot down immediately by feminist groups, who are organized and powerful. There is no such group for men, so when when unfair laws and judgements are passed, we do what we typically do, we grumble and bite down and bear it.
You cannot expect for feminine institutions to do what is universally right when it steps outside of the boundaries of their own interest. They are not that evolved. Empowering males almost goes directly against what most of these groups principals are and in fact is what they consider to be the true problem in relationships between men and women.
Mens roles are usually considered to be more financial in scope and therefore according to the courts it is easy to separate a kid from the father as long as the child still gets the check. It is widely assumed that a mothers nurturing is more important than the love of a dad. I will say this much about that. I am married to a woman whose dad was not around for a myriad of reason and I can assure you that the affects on her have been excruciating for her and me.
How sexist is it to assume that by virtue of your sex you can do a job better. Men wouldn't be allowed to claim superiority of any activity because we are men without social backlash. But women can openly claim that they are better parents by virture of their sex alone with out so much as an unkind word being said. See it for what it is.
2006-10-24 08:24:24 · answer #1 · answered by Big Marc 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most judges go in favor of the mothers because they are the mothers of these children. I'm probably going to be hated for this comment...so be! Mothers have a bond with their children that no father can relate to. Taking away a woman's child is emotionally damaging to both mother and child. A child needs it's mother the nurture and support it can not get from the father. NOW, I'm not saying the fathers are unfit and that some mothers really do not need custody...but this is why judges favor the mothers. In most states, the father has to have proof beyond proof the mother is completely unfit in order for the father to get custody. This is just the way it has always been.
2006-10-24 07:59:28 · answer #2 · answered by blueeyeskenai 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I believe that men do not get a fair shake in the family court system. Unfit parents come in both sexes. Just because a woman gives birth to a child does not mean that they are maternal enough to raise them. I just recently saw an TV ad about a new law for 'Dead Beat Dads' and invalidating their passports. Some men are better at raising children than mothers are. I am seeing a sight change though starting. I hope that eventually it will become even and men will be looked upon as fit parents.
As for Blueeye's comment about the bond between a mother and child.... I have a daughter and a son, my daughter 'bonded' with her father first, so she is better with him than me, as for the son, he 'bonded' with me. I have always been told that the first parent to hold the child is the one in which the bond is made. I have seen it first hand so seeing is believing.
2006-10-24 08:02:11 · answer #3 · answered by wallcritter 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately the world just isn't fair. If you go by the law of averages, a majority of the time the Mother is the best place for the child and that is what the legal system is going to follow.
If the mother of your child/children is unfit? Keep very detailed documentation of everything! Keep all receipts of money spent on the children. Get the police involved for any violations of your existing rights, like custody violations (ie. if she keeps you from seeing the kids).
2006-10-24 08:05:49 · answer #4 · answered by Gonzo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Men should not be treated that way i know of a few friends that dont have custody of their children but are way better parents than the mom but custody was just given to her due to she was the mom. I have views on that and i think men should be given the right if wanting to try and if they can do it let them or check in on the mom and see if she does just as good as job i some cases not hopefully all good will come to you.
2006-10-24 07:56:31 · answer #5 · answered by vomissie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that's true...not all men are. and keep in mind, there is always two sides to the story. ALWAYS. excuses, excuses. i don't buy the excuse of a man not being able to see his kids. if you wanted to see them, you would.
The reason i KNOW this, is because i temprarlity gave up custody of my kids to their father because i had nowhere to go in the 24 hour notice i was given to leave. and guess what? i came everyday to pick up my kids from school, take them to eat, and drop them off at their dads house everynight. when my car broke down, i came on a 1.5 hour bus ride to still go pick them up everyday. and took the 2 hour bus ride to go to work every night afterward. nothing kept me away from my children. i busted my *** and went to court and figured out the filing process to get it right so i would have full custody of my children. so, no...if men really wanted to see his kids and be a father, then he would be. and not allow any person get in his way. How many men actually settle for the every other week visitation? way too many.
2006-10-24 08:03:56 · answer #6 · answered by Bella 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think in the situation your referring to, women are willing to sacrafice more for the kids and put their carreers on hold. That's why child support is so abused by women. If a man were willing to take less pay, work less hours and put his carreer on hold, then I think he could have a good chance at getting more custody.
Both parents have a equal right to joint custody. You would have to be a total loser to not get joint custody.
I also think that it's easier for a woman to play the "poor me" role in court that it is for a man.
2006-10-24 08:16:06 · answer #7 · answered by Jerrid 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is proven that children do much better when they live with mom then when they live with dad. we nurture them in a way that no man can. we carried them for 9 months and instinctivly know what they need. men just dont get it. sorry to say but we are just better at taking care of kids
2006-10-24 08:04:46 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I don't even have to read your question........can you say " liberalism" it's about "special rights" not equal rites.
2006-10-24 12:58:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋