X wife what should my wife and i do?

Question

she hasn't talked to my three daughters in over a year and last time she did my girls were mest up cause of her lies and promises we don't want her out of thier lives but i want to protect my girl s they are my first prioity. she also lives in another state and lost the girls to child wefare there it cost me alot of money and time just to prove i cared and wanted them and i'll be damned if i was gonna let the state adopt my girls she also lost to other children got preg by some other guy and adopted that child and calls and says my girls are her baby we pray for her to get her life together but i worry for the girls to be safe so i refer to eccl 3 and mathew 18 but i need to know should i wait till they can make thier own dission or allow them to talk to thier mother?

Answer 1

As their father it is always your duty to protect your children. I can understand your predicament though because I have a son with my ex, and I do not feel that it is in my son's best interest to see his biological father. At the same time though, I don't want him to come to me one day and say "mom it's your fault I don't/didn't have a relationship with my dad". So, I give my son the choice. I let him know that it was completely up to him whether or not he wanted a relationship with my ex. My son chooses not to have anything to do with him. If you want to allow your children the chance to see her, or if they want to see her, you can always set up supervised visitation. This can be done through the courts, and usually takes place at a social services office. This way, if your kids want to they can see her, but it will be in a safe controlled environment where you do not have to worry about anything happening to them. There is nothing wrong with you wanting to protect your children, and as I said before, it is our God given responsibility to protect them. I wish you the best of luck in this situation. I know how extremely tough this is.

Answer 2

If she lives in another state that is really a blessing for you. She can only speak to the girls on the phone and you can be listening on another phone. I have to say that unless her parental rights have been terminated you must allow them to speak to their mother. However you must monitor the conversation and if she becomes abusive in any way which would include demeaning you, you must cut in and remove the child from the phone. You would then tell her she can not speak that way if she wishes to talk to the girls. At which point you would disconnect the call. If she calls again explain that you will not tolerate abusive language and if she wants to continue to talk to her daughters she will refrain from speaking that way. If she continues the abuse you will have to cut off all communication with her. Explain to your daughters now what your plan is so that if you have to cut their mom off they know why. Be as honest as possible with your girls. Good luck and may God bless you.

Answer 3

Don't allow them to go stay with her! If she is going to keep they messed up and unhappy then she needs to stay away. You went to take them back from the state so don't let her ruin their lives now! She is not setting a good example for those girls! Let them wait until they are grown up and move away from home and IF they want to see her then don't try to stop them. Like you said the girls are your first priority so keep her away from them. What about you -shouldn't you and your wife be able to be happy without her interference?

Answer 4

Depends on a lot of factors; is she lucid?
Can she talk without berating you, and others?
Can she give the girls good advice?
What are their ages?

I think both parents should engage their children, but sometimes, when one is mentally ill, or has a character disorder that makes them mean, it is best that they be kept away.
This sort of fits that pattern.

Answer 5

your the man of the house,and the dad, its hard making dission but when it comes to your kids you got to look out whats best for them. not all the dission you make will be easy,and there will be times you don't like to make these dission, but that's how life is, but tell the kids why you made these choices, and don't say i made this dission and that's it, tell them why.

Answer 6

They have the right to talk to their Mother even if it upsets them, even if it hurts them! You can not protect your children from life. This is how their Mother is, it's what they have to learn to accept. They will only blame you if you try to keep them apart! You cannot change the fact that she is their Mother. Life is painful sometimes, they might as well start learning that now!

Answer 7

let them talk to there mother or let them decide what they wanna do just tell them i want yall to be happy i respect yalls choice in whatever yall decide! im sure they know whats been going on so try not to add to the situation in letting them know that there mom is bad person! they will either see it or just blow it off besides would u want someone to hold u back from having a relationship with your mother regardless of her past or what she does?.....

Answer 8

Allow them to talk to there mother you never know what could happen there mother could die and than your girls could hate you forever for not even letting them try to have a relationship with there mother. Don't let them live with her though.

Answer 9

I would keep her far away from them. As children they can not make a rational decision. As adults they will be able to.

Answer 10

let the children talk to their mother but i would be their to supervise