Recently, i posted another questions about when to have kids. Well, I talked with my boyfriend/fiance about getting married before having kids, and he's really heart set on having kids before marriage, because he feels that getting married first will really push back having kids. What should I do? I really would love to get married first but I really want kids. He's mine forever we have both come to that agreement, and we're moving to Colorado to be with my family, (who adores him). He want's kids first then marriage. I'm really undecided.
2006-10-24 07:13:41 · 10 answers · asked by Marsha N 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
me and my husband had kids first . we did not get married till after our second child first birthday. we have been together 16 years.if both of you want kids go for it . just think how much more happier kids would make both of you.
2006-10-24 13:22:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
IT's the opposite. Kids push back marriage. If you guys are so dead set on being together forever, I see no reason why you can't get married first. At least go to the courthouse and have a civil ceremony. It only costs like $40.
Do not get tricked into having kids before marriage. What if it doesn't work out afterwards? You're stuck with a kid, and he's off in the sunset singing the same crap into someone else's ears.
2006-10-24 14:25:49 · answer #2 · answered by J L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand your boyfriend's reasoning. Why would getting married push back having kids? Is he wanting to have some big extravagent wedding that would leave you guys paying the debt from for many years? I don't understand why people think getting married and having kids has to cost so much money. I guess do whatever you want.
2006-10-24 14:20:25 · answer #3 · answered by mommyem 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Better to be married first. I dont understand how he thinks marriage can push back having kids. Just talk to him and tell him how you feel and that you really want to get married first. That is all you can do.
2006-10-24 14:36:36 · answer #4 · answered by Blondi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why not suggest getting married at the courthouse. it is inexpensive and you could start having kids. you could both get what you want and later you can have a big wedding. if you cant come to a compromise on this, then you should really sit down and figure out why he wont marry you. good luck!
2006-10-24 17:45:21 · answer #5 · answered by brandy1905 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow what a trap this is. He wants to keep you but not make the sacrifice of being your husband and supporting you. Can you guarantee that if you have this child with him that one day he wont leave you? Can you guarantee that even if you and him dont stay together that he will do his part in helping in the raising of the child (child support, visits, love)? I dont want this to sound mean but there are guys that want babies with their gf's just so they wont be desirable to other men. Sweetie please do not do this! Wouldn't you much rather have a baby with someone that is supporting you by putting a roof over your head and treating you like his queen? He wants you to sacrifice your dreams for his. That is not right!
2006-10-24 14:20:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well its always better to be married first and actully the fincial strain of a baby would push the wedding plans back not the other way around!
2006-10-24 14:16:52 · answer #7 · answered by lisamarie7901 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
marige first then kids. don't even think twice just do it that way. k?
2006-10-24 14:20:29 · answer #8 · answered by outrun_7 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
may be better to talk to him.Sometimes man doesn`t know what they want
2006-10-24 14:23:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
MARSHA, TRY TO COMPROMISE WITH HIM, AND TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL.
2006-10-24 14:16:14 · answer #10 · answered by tinkerbell 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋